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Letters From Listeners

The Aftermath of Lying

In Dr. Laura's Daily Dose, she asked, "What's the biggest whopper of a lie you told as a kid? What were the consequences?"  Here are some of your responses:

The biggest lie I ever told would be when I was 16 years old. My parents divorced when I was 4.  At 16, I finally moved away from my mom and in with my dad. My mother had an abusive boyfriend who was constantly cheating on her. She caught him red-handed several times but was completely blind to it.

After a few weeks of living with my dad, my mother found a condom wrapper under her couch. Refusing to believe her boyfriend could possibly do something like that, she called my dad. He yelled at me for what seemed like hours, refusing to hear me out. He kept jumping at and away from me like he was trying to stop himself from seriously hurting me. Scared to death, I finally did what he wanted: lied and told him it was mine. He kept asking me questions and I had to keep making up more lies. As soon as one of my lies wasn't as believable as he wanted, he start yelling and cursing and trying not to hit me.

For years, all of my family believed I was "that type" of girl. Not a day went by I wasn't harassed somehow by my friends or family (they made sure every one of my friends knew). When I turned 18, my now-husband came to stay with us, and I eventually married and had children with him. He was my first and only.

When I was about 21, I finally told my husband the truth. Afterwards, I told my dad, but he continues to make horrible remarks, which leads me to believe he doesn't believe me.

My husband and I had serious issues because I was his first, and he thought I had been with many men at the age of 16. It was wonderful for him to find out the truth, but because he found out five years later, he (rightfully so) didn't trust me for a long time after learning the truth. This was all because my parents didn't want to believe me.

It seems parents not only can't recognize the lies, but they refuse to acknowledge the truth.

When I was about 10, I told my mom I was sick and didn't think I should go to school. So she gave me the thermometer to check for a temperature. I took it into the bathroom and ran it under hot water - but to my surprise it got so hot the mercury expanded and it broke. Nothing needed to be said - I had to go to school. HA!

When I was about 4 years, I accidentally smashed a window, possibly in a shed, with a ball or stick. My explanation to my father was a rocket came out of the sky, went through the window, came back out, and flew away. Consequences: spanking.

When I was probably in about 3rd grade, I scratched a math problem into the wood paneling we had in our basement family room. (Don't ask me what I was thinking...) When my parents asked if anybody knew what happened to the wall, I denied I knew anything. Well, my parents let it go, but the next Monday, we had a family night lesson on honesty. They explained the long term consequences of lying. They never mentioned the wall or any other specific lies during the lesson, but I felt a huge amount of guilt. When the lesson was over I whispered to my mom I had scratched the wall and I was sorry. She, of course, knew it was me all along since I was the oldest child and the most studious in the family. I don't remember being punished beyond living with my own guilt, but I never forgot that lesson and have tried my whole life to be completely honest in all I do.

When I was in Kindergarten, I, wanting to seem cool, told a group of my little girlfriends I had had sex with a little neighbor boy. I thought sex was kissing. A friend told her mom, who told our principal, who told our pastor, who called my parents. So, we all went to the school, and met with another friend who had been present that day and her parents. I convinced my friend to lie with me that it was a different girl who had talked about having sex. We got out of any consequence since the adults involved couldn't figure out who the offending party was. I finally confessed as an adult. Funny how you can feel better even as an adult confessing childish wrongs.

My dad spanked me for something when I was little. I went in and put ketchup on my legs and came out and said, "I am bleeding, see where you spanked me!" I got another one for lying and wasting ketchup! LOL!

When I was in elementary school our class sold Easter candy every year. Mom always bought a bunch because people from her work ordered. There was a huge box with several boxes of Easter egg candies. She warned all of us not to take ANY or open ANY of the boxes because they were not for us.

Well, I snuck a box and opened it and shared it with the rest of my siblings in hopes Mom wouldn't notice. When she returned home from an errand that night, she noticed the box missing. She asked all the kids what happened to that box. Of course, we all said we didn't know. All of us were sent to bed without dinner. The whole time we were sitting up in bed the rest of my siblings kept begging me to confess the truth. Every time any of them brought up the fact I had opened the candy and shared it with them, I was quick to lie and said I didn't do it. There was much crying and begging for a couple of hours. We all were sent to bed without dinner because I wouldn't admit the truth.

Looking back I feel bad I was so selfish I made my whole family go without dinner because I was scared to tell the truth. I've told this story to my own kids today in hopes they will learn from their mother's mistake. It's not nice to ruin it for everyone.

Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Morals, Ethics, Values, Values
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