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Think Twice Before Wrecking Your Family

Dr. Laura:

I have a message for all married people considering divorce who have children at home.  Parents who think their kids are resilient and that they will be just fine are wrong.  They will NOT be "just fine."  Whether they're toddlers or teenagers, you will destroy their world as they know it.  I speak from experience.  My childhood was idyllic.  Both sides of our family lived in the same town, got along well, and spent every holiday together.  My parents seemed happy and were very involved with all my activities.  My mom had close friends, however, who were separated and/or divorced, and my dad was dismayed when she started hanging out with them. 

One day after school, my mom informed me that she and my dad were divorcing.  My fourteen-year-old brain couldn't comprehend the seriousness of this.  I remember nodding my head, but that's because I didn't know what to say.  She moved out in a few days, and my dad remained in our home.  It was half empty, because mom took most of the furniture.  My dad bought us TV trays, because the dining room table went with mom.  Our home was now full of empty rooms and shelves, and I had a shell of my previous life.  Our families took sides, and they no longer speak to each other.  For the first time in my life, I saw my father cry.  He was devastated and confused. 

Eventually, he sold our home and moved into another house, and I no longer felt I had a home - it was just Dad's house or Mom's house.  I never felt that either house was MY home.  It was their home.  I was merely a visitor, following a court-appointed schedule. My father dated, but these women didn't want me around.  Mom continued going out, leaving me a frozen dinner to make for myself when I was there.  My dad later died, and mom remarried but divorced after nine months of verbal and emotional abuse that I had to take right along with her.  She has turned into a bitter woman.  So please, ladies and gentlemen, think twice before you wreak havoc on yours and your kids' lives.


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Tags: Attitude, Behavior, Divorce, Mental Health, Parenting, Personal Responsibility
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