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Email of the Day

Waiting Until Marriage


Dr. Laura,

It's soooo hard being a woman who is waiting out there. When the rest of the women give it up for free, the men won't even give me a chance. I've done what you've said, I've literally asked every single family member and friend and I have and nobody knows any eligible single "Christian" men. So I am in the online dating world, although, I don't date much, due to the lack of eligible men.

Here is a reply I got from a "Christian" man off a Christian website, and it happens over and over.

Hi there. I do like your energy, but was stumped at the end of reading your profile. Though I cultivate a friendship with a girl before sex because I believe friendship before romance is foundational to every lasting relationship, your expectations to wait before marriage might be too unrealistic for me. Waiting til marriage would be like me suspending showing any care and affection toward you until I swore "til death do us part." You probably wouldn't marry me in the first place because you were still in the dark about my capacity to reciprocate toward you. Waiting til marriage is admirable, it's just not worth the risk anymore for most men. I think it's more important to recognize the wisdom behind the principle of waiting til marriage, rather than getting stuck on the rule: Commitment and a deep care should come first. However, that doesn't mean men should be miserable while the female is happy. I know it's fashionable to put down male needs while exalting female needs, but it's just not realistic.

Here is my reply:

How does waiting til marriage suspend showing any care or affection towards someone? That's a very stupid statement.. Or do you think sex is the only care and affection you show towards a woman. I would totally feel used if you didn't show any other care or affection at all!  Even Christian men don't want to live or do what the Bible says. And your last statements are also ridiculous, as if women don't want or need sex, and you are suffering without it. Seriously? I know, wanting a man to commit his life to me before giving him my body nowadays is not realistic anymore. Even though I'm not bad looking, (I run marathons), have a great job, I actually am happy and am looking for someone to love and give that love to. I'm sure there are plenty of women on this site who will sleep with you for free. Sadly since the women have become whores, the women who actually want a man to commit in marriage have a rough time as men can just go find one who will give it up for free without any commitment.

I don't expect any advice, but I just wanted to say, "Some things REALLY were better in the good ol' days." I really think women are the problem. If more women would wait for marriage, men would have to change. Thank you.


Tags: Behavior, Choose Wisely-Treat Kindly, Dating, Marriage, Religion, Sex, Values, Women's Point of View
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