Hi Dr. Laura,
I have called you several times and you have always helped me. I have 2 small children, my now ex-husband is an alcoholic and all around deadbeat dad, who doesn't call, visit, or make child support payments.
I am writing to you because unfortunately I started listening to you late and did not choose wisely. But I have made lemonade out of lemons and my kids are doing great. But I get so frustrated when I hear a stay-at-home mom call in who's bored, or doesn't think she's perfect, or is mad at her husband for working or traveling too much. Sometimes I almost drive off the road. I just want to slap these women or splash water in their faces or scream, "WAKE UP WOMAN". I mean, they did the first part right... They chose wisely. Then they screw it up because they start comparing their life to someone who doesn't matter or feeling inadequate because someone else did it differently or heaven forbid their husband wants to have sex with them. I mean I can literally hear their marriages unraveling as they gripe and complain.
If I had 5 minutes with them, I'd tell them the only "report card" that matters is from their kids. I bet if they took a minute to ask their kids how they are doing, they'd get a big hug and hear everything is great because they are together. Kids want your time. Not the biggest TV and they don't care if you had the BEST meeting at work. They want your time.
My kids are very happy, the only comments they ever make is that they wish I could go on field trips or pick them up from school. So they are happy, we are surviving being on our own, but if I had made different choices I'd be home with my kids with spit up on my shirt and yesterday's jeans but I'd be home. I'd be cooking dinner for my family and after we got the kids to bed, I'd change out of yesterday's jeans and thank my husband for all he does for us. And yes, the thank you would be with the lights ON in nothing but my birthday suit and a smile. Tired from wiping noses and carpooling or not, I'd be thankful. And I'd give a little of that back.
So if you don't think you aren't contributing enough to society, you need to think a little closer to home.