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Email of the Day

Wanting Sex More Than Doing the Dishes
11/06/2013

Dear Dr. Laura, 

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you have done for me in the past few months. I am a new listener and your books, In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms and The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands have already transformed my life and my marriage. I just had my first child in May and the experience made me reevaluate my priorities. 

I was thrilled to be a stay-at-home mom, but was feeling a wave of negativity from my mother, my mother-in-law, and my very feminist friend. I felt like I had something to prove and would get stressed when I couldn’t take care of a very active infant and have the house sparkling. I would get frustrated and take it out on my husband – who never even once complained about the house. I read In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms first and instantly felt so much more relaxed and validated. I knew that the priority was my baby and that my husband somehow got that a lot better than I did. 

So I decided to read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and my first emotion was anger. I had the feminist nonsense so ingrained in me that my reactions to the possibility that I could be responsible for the happiness or lack thereof of my marriage made me instantly want to blame my husband! As I continued reading, the book rang true and I realized how much I had been pulling away from my husband, especially in the sex department. I was getting to the point where I wanted to do the dishes more than I wanted to have sex, and when I realized that, I knew how out of line my thinking was. It took very little to turn the situation around. A couple nights in a row of me initiating sex with my husband and he turned into the happiest, most giving man in the world. I feel like we’re newlyweds and can’t get enough of each other. Not only that, it is amazing to me how he comes home from a long day at work and a long drive home and jumps into taking care of the baby to help me out without me even having to ask. You’ve inspired me to continue to work at the two most important jobs in the world: being my kid’s mom and being my husband’s girlfriend; and I can’t thank you enough for that. 

Talia
Tags: Attitude, Behavior, Friendships, In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Values
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