Premium Podcast Help Contact Dr. Laura Dr. Laura Designs Return to
Join Family Premium Login Family

Video Transcripts

Why Is the First Response, 'No'?

I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger, welcoming you to our YouTube channel.  And here's a question from Corey:

"Why is it that when a husband or wife comes up with a good idea for something, the automatic answer is often, 'No,' [Laughs] or 'I don't think so.' But if a friend or neighbor comes up with the exact idea, it's 'Wow, that's a great idea!' or 'Yes, you have a good point!'

For example, I have been saying to my wife for several years that we should get a pool table for our front room, because the kids would love it.  Of course I got the big 'NO' from her.  But one of her good friends came over and said, 'That's a great room for a pool table,' and my wife is now seriously considering it!

I have seen this with my relatives, friends, and co-workers over the years. What are your thoughts on why this happens?"

My thought on why this happens is that married couples these days don't spend a lot of time trying to make each other happy.  It's as blunt as that.  And it's mostly (ok women, get ready)'s mostly [points at self] the female because we have gone through the whole feminist era where what men want, feel, need or think is irrelevant.  And we have knee-jerk reactions because we really diss and disdain our men.  And every day I talk to women who don't even realize that's their mindset until their husbands have an affair, or just leave, or start seeing a prostitute, or using the computer to...never mind, you get that picture.

So I would say that the reason your wife says "no" is because she's not giving a moment's thought to your feelings but when a neighbor suggests she should have something [opens up arms wide] and there's a look that's going to happen to her house that's going to reflect on her, then she's all for it because it's about her.  So since you're married to that kind of woman, my advice to you from this point on is when you have an idea and you think a pool table would be fun, you say to your wife, "I'm going to get a pool table for the kids and me and you, if you'd like to play, and I'd like you to either look on the net or go with me to the store and help me pick out which one."  So you're acting like a man, you're making a declarative sentence about an intent but you are generously, sweetly, lovingly and kindly asking her to participate in it by, you know, choosing the wood or the designs on the legs [makes swirling motion with pointed finger].  I think you've got to do that because you're married to a woman who needs to read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.  But that's why it happens because if their friends say it it's about how they look, if you say it you don't matter that much.  And your wife probably doesn't even have the ill intent; she's just so well trained by the feminist movement. 

I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger.  Until next time on our YouTube channel.



Tags: Attitude, Feminism, Friendships, Marriage, Negativity, Social Issues, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
< Back to Video Transcripts Archives