Close
Premium Podcast Help Contact Dr. Laura Dr. Laura Designs Return to DrLaura.com
Join Family Premium Login Family

Letters From Listeners

Why Men Cheat is Also Why Men Marry
01/06/2012

The author of that book regarding why men cheat ought to know it cannot work the way he suggests, if only for the simple reason of disease. There was a lot of discussion of "emotional intimacy". I have no idea what that is.

Honesty and transparency…I know what these are. Sometimes my wife gets her feelings hurt because I am too honest and transparent. She sometimes wants for us to just sit and talk, but when I agree, she has nothing to say. When she asks me what's on my mind and I tell her honestly, she doesn't like it. Mostly she just wants complements. Lots of them. Even when they do not apply. Basically, she encourages me to lie to her when it is favorable. It's a little game she likes to play with me. But I don't like those kinds of games. It feels more like I am feeding her delusions than playing a friendly little game.

So why do men cheat? Here's my answer: Because it is the ONLY way they feel they can ever get something they think they need. 'Simple as that. They don't like running the risk of separation, divorce, loss of their children, etc. But there is no other choice other than to just live without. They have given up all hope in their marriage. What is it they feel they need? Again, simple: A woman who will thrill them sexually and interest them intellectually. That is honestly the only reason most guys ever get married. Then in too many cases either they never get, or they can no longer get, the only thing they really needed from a wife in the first place. Before I got married I thought that would be a pretty simple thing for a wife to do. I still do. I just keep wondering why so many wives refuse to do that for their husbands.

S.

Tags: intimacy, Marriage, Response to a Comment, Sex
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
< Back to Letters From Listeners Archives