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Values
05/13/2010
IconI love "Law & Order" and "Cold Case" types of programs, because of the cleverness of the characters in discerning truth from lies (either from witnesses or clues at a crime scene).' I find it fascinating.' Detective Goren from "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" seems to know everything about just everything, which is a plot device that sometimes strains credulity, but, in general, I find the most interesting leaps to be that of a "gut feeling" or a "hunch" which is not easily explained by logic until after the fact.Some people are better at this than others - perhaps it's an inner talent that is unique, or maybe that individual just pays more attention to detail, or maybe it's just the willingness to listen to that still, soft voice that tells you something just isn't right.I find that many people who call my radio program with concerns about the behaviors of someone they're dating already "knew" on some level that something just wasn't right.' But they ignored or denied those feelings because they wanted the fantasy to be true.' Generally, these desired fantasies turn into disasters.One caller earlier this week met a guy online who immediately treated her like he was her fairy godmother.' "Zap" with his wand, and they were off to foreign lands for lunch and distant places for vacations.' She found out that he was still married, even though he had said he was divorced.' She called me all upset and sad.I told her that she had behaved like a slut (yeah, I said that), because he had money.' Certainly, she couldn't have believed that he loved her - he didn't even KNOW her! She was gullible and pretty and sexually available and that was what he was looking for.' He wasn't looking for the love of his life.' She, however, wanted the princess fairy tale, and she had it for two months.' Meanwhile, she had suspended her good sense about why a man would operate like this with no real knowledge of the woman.' Answer?' Knowledge of the woman was not of interest to him.' Showing off and having passionate sex with a very willing woman was what he really wanted.Instead of worrying about not being able to trust men, and sobbing with great hurt at being dumped, I suggested that she start behaving like the kind of woman a real man without a selfish agenda would value.' She didn't listen to that small voice, and ended up used and humiliated.'Don't deny what you know in your gut, even in the midst of what seems like the most unbelievable reality.' It is unbelievable, because it is not to be believed. More >>

Tags: CharityMorals, Ethics, ValuesSexSexualityThe Proper Care & Feeding of HusbandsThe Proper Care and Feeding of HusbandsValues
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05/13/2010
IconRomantically, beauty may be in the eyes of the beholder, but according to a new report from research done in Helsinki and London, girls are getting prettier, and guys are...well... not getting more handsome. "Scientists have found that evolution is driving women to become ever more beautiful, while men remain as aesthetically unappealing as their caveman ancestors," reports The London Times .' Evidently, beautiful women have more children than their plainer counterparts, and a higher proportion of those children are females who tend to be attractive.' A researcher at the University of Helsinki found beautiful women had up to 16% more children than plain women.' An evolutionary psychologist at the London School of Economics proclaimed that good-looking parents were far more likely to conceive daughters.' The most attractive parents (out of 15,000 Americans who were "judged") were 26% less likely to have sons. "Physical attractiveness is a highly heritable trait, which disproportionately increases the reproductive success of daughters much more than of sons.' If more attractive parents have more daughters, and if physical attractiveness is heritable, it logically follows that women over many generations gradually become more physically attractive on average than men," the researcher said.Well, here's my take.' I don't really know if any of this holds water, but let's assume for a moment that it does.' This means that a lot of beautiful women are marrying plain men because they are less into "beauty" and more into other qualities (like loyalty, fidelity, ability to provide and protect, sexual prowess, and status), while men want women who are beautiful because their beauty is a source of status for the male and a measure of her overall health for child-bearing.Nonetheless, I was quite impressed with the beyond gorgeous hunk Tom Selleck, when I learned that he married a rather plain-looking woman, and quite put off with Bruce Willis, when he married some hottie almost half his age.' To me, these choices told me the character and maturity of each man, with Selleck winning out.All of these "soft science" reports are amusing, if not generally nonsense, and it is amazing how differently you feel about a person's good looks after you meet and interact with them as opposed to just viewing a two-dimensional photograph.My main point here is this:' it's a fact that we are first attracted or repelled by looks (no kidding).' However, I suggest you try MY experiment:' walk through a mall or a flower garden, and look at the people paired up and holding hands or talking softly to one another.'' It's rare that one or both is "beautiful," but it is not rare that they are happy with the depth of compassion, attention, affection, support, fun, and happiness that they obviously share.The moral to this story?' Have good hygiene, make the most of the physical qualities you have, and don't focus at all on your looks (or anyone else's for that matter).' Put your best behavioral foot forward, and be open to meeting friends and a possible life partner based, instead, on how you make each other feel. More >>

Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceValues
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05/13/2010
IconA now 17-year-old boy from Thousand Oaks, California recently sailed, by himself, some 28,000 miles in one year on a 36-foot sailboat.' Zac Sunderland was 16 when he left Marina del Rey harbor in June, 2008.The Associated Press writer was a bit snarky, I think, when writing: "But the shaggy-haired Thousand Oaks native might not hold the record of being the youngest person to sail around the world alone for long.' British sailor Mike Perham is a few months younger than Sunderland, and is sailing a bigger, faster boat." If I were Zac's mother, this would have annoyed me.' I'm not his mother, but it annoys me .' Assuming she or he wants to keep a scrapbook commemorating his sailing exploits, what a snarky thing to have included. "A few months...a bigger, faster boat." So what?Here is a 16 (now 17) year old kid who, instead of partying, abusing drugs, alcohol or hanging out with silly girls, instead of spending hours on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or whatever, instead of hanging in his room sullen, instead of causing trouble at school, instead of driving too fast in the car he shouldn't have been given in the first place, instead of a lot of typical teenage boy activities, took on a challenge that was to test his ability to discipline himself, live austerely, deal with unpredictable weather and seas, survive loneliness and fear, and fix equipment failures when warranted.Shoving up his nose in print that someone else trying it is younger and has a better boat, shows, in my opinion, a complete ignorance of the difficulties and challenges he had to face.' It is remarkable for such a young person to brave all the elements of wind and sea to take an incredible journey on his own.' I am sure he now has a healthy respect for nature, life and himself.' I am sure he won't hesitate to face many other challenges on land.' I am sure he won't be abusing himself or substances to get a "rush."' I am sure he's a fine young man who should be an inspiration to other teens.' You are never too young to have a dream and go for it.I'm sure his mom is very proud.' She should be! More >>

Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceCourageFamily/Relationships - TeensHobbiesPersonal ResponsibilitySailingTeensValues
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05/13/2010
IconI should have curly hair by now, especially considering the shenanigans and cruelty perpetrated on children by self-centered adults who have the title "parent."' Their behavior would curl anyone's hair.A 72-year-old woman realized that she "always wanted a child, but spent [her] younger years devoted to academics, achieving degrees in medical sciences and zoology.' I'd always had it in the back of my mind that when the time was right I'd like to have a child.' But my studies meant that children kept getting delayed.' The right time finally came in my early 50s, and since then, I've been attempting, and failing, with IVF [in-vitro fertilization]." This excuse for a prospective mother has never had a long term relationship (no time for that either), and therefore doesn't even have an ancient daddy to provide for the child.' As for her age?' Well, she figures anyone can die at any time (and she's a scientist?' She's supposed to understand actuarial tables).' She really believes she's going to last long enough in good enough health, or she says she'll "ask one of my younger friends to be a guardian." So, IF she conceives (and I sincerely hope her 20 years of fertility failure continue), she'll play with the kid and then just pass him or her off to some friend.' Great.Remember the Italian woman, then the oldest to give birth in 2006 at the age of 67?' She died recently.' You can count the age of her orphaned child on less than one hand.If this woman succeeds, she will have the title of the oldest mother in the world.' I would suggest that she will be the oldest female creature to give birth, as a real mother would never set up her own child for this selfish foolishness.' I wish this fertility doctor would have his license revoked.' The same should happen to the American doctor who impregnated the "Octomom."Freedoms without limits automatically encroach upon good sense, compassion, and someone else's well-being.' This is just another example of how insignificant the needs of children have become as compared to the impulsive, self-centered desires of adults who want children, but who don't necessarily want to be bothered by the needs of children. More >>

Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceChildrenFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMoralsMorals, Ethics, ValuesMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingValues
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05/13/2010
IconPeople have accused me of everything from being rigid, to simply spouting common sense.' Well, for the folks who think I'm rigid, I have this to say:' I have convictions - convictions that I took a lifetime to forge, convictions I stand by, because they make good sense, and ultimately help people to have better lives.Fifty years ago, most of what I have to say was common sense.'' Not so now.' Today, many values are no longer held in common, and what values are left happen to be undermined daily by forces in government, religion, professional organizations, media, communities, families, friends, neighbors, and even your own impulses.Honestly, I fear for the growing lack of cohesion in our country with respect to values, morals, ideals, goals, and general insight.' When half the country accepts a candidate for the Supreme Court of one gender and ethnic group who says she is superior in wisdom and intent to another individual of another gender and ethnic group simply because of her gender and ethnic group, and the country doesn't fall to the ground either laughing or outraged, I worry.That example is one on a huge scale, but no less important is how the evaluation of family, marriage, and child care has been constantly undermined by something as simple as TV commercials.'We've seen on TV a commercial for a chewing gum that seems to be an aphrodisiac (because young girls seemingly will jump their boyfriends in front of their parents).' And now, we have T-Mobile commercials that have a pretty spokeswoman who has a minor boy attempting to seduce her, as well as a husband who goes all "gaga" in front of his wife, who, when she reminds him she's right there, says "We're married....technically."This is supposed to be very funny?We have male penile enhancement supplements being advertised all day and evening (when children are watching), and some lubricant that makes a woman explode with orgasmic pleasure.' And on and on it goes.Back in the day, common sense would have precluded these commercials from airing, because they were tasteless and they undermined the common understanding that some things are personal and private.' But now, all the barriers are down.' Heroes today are people who sing, dance, play music, act in movies, and run with a ball.' People who sacrifice in battle, however, are ignored or impugned.'Car commercials talk about how sturdy and safe a car is, but they do so while showing a situation in which ex-spouses are doing a "child exchange."' Everyone is smiling and appears happy because the car is so nice.' There's nothing "nice" about a broken family for a child.After years and years of the TV show Friends winning so many Emmy awards, and the stars going on to other lucrative media adventures, young people think "shacking up" and out-of-wedlock pregnancies ARE common sense.'I don't mind being the lead salmon...I just hope that you will all consider swimming upstream with me and finally stand up privately (and publicly) for common sense. More >>

Tags: common senseInternet-MediaInternet/MediaMorals, Ethics, ValuesPersonal ResponsibilityTelevisionValues
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05/13/2010
IconI have a friend who is temporarily without a computer, so I've been texting him.' I've found myself using the letter "u" for "you," and "r" for "are," but other than that, I try to use the English language the way it was meant to be spoken and written.I've complained quite often about how this text messaging thing is completely out of hand, and how your children should not be able to use such technology as it occupies way too much of their time without depth and without development of language skills.' Quite the contrary - spelling and syntax and content are out the window when it comes to these mindless exchanges.' Additionally, people of all ages are so focused on that little gadget that they ignore their responsibilities as well as their environment.Numerous states have had to implement bans on texting while driving - that's how utterly stupid people can get.' Text-related injuries and deaths are not limited to the vehicular variety.' In 2008, the state of Illinois proposed legislation that would make texting and walking (with or without gum) illegal!' Pedestrians who ridiculed the idea might now need to reconsider their stance.A 15 year old girl on Staten Island was obliviously thumbing away when she disappeared into an open manhole, falling five feet, scraping her back and arms, and landing in a pile of mush.' The workers were off getting cones and markers to barricade the opening, so it was a potential hazard.' However, if this teen were actually looking where she was going, not a thing would have happened to her.' Of course, her parents are going to sue.' Well, why not?' Your daughter behaves stupidly, so naturally you're going to look around for someone to sue.' Money versus common sense.' Oh well.If I were a purse snatcher or predator, I'd keep my eyes open for texting women who are moving through life without any awareness of their surroundings:' whether people, entities, or holes in the ground.' They make easy prey.I keep wondering...what if we looked at everyone's text messages over a 24 hour period of their life?' Would we find anything important being discussed?' I doubt it.' More likely, we'd just find them attempting to create a mini-universe to live in, where meaningless discourse makes them feel important or connected - or provides an activity where they avoid dealing with real life issues.What if this teen had stepped on a baby?' What if she had tripped over an elderly person who had then fallen?' What if she walked right into the hands of a kidnapper?' What if she didn't see a person doing harm to another (so she couldn't provide witness testimony to help the police)?' I could go on and on....but you get the idea.Yes, the manhole should not have been left unattended - those guys should all be fired.' Yes, she should have been looking where she was going.' That's just plain common sense.' This would have been a preventable accident if the men had done their jobs properly, and if this girl had shown better judgment. More >>

Tags: AttitudeFamily/Relationships - TeensPersonal ResponsibilitySocial IssuesTeensValues
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05/13/2010
IconOne day after winning the title of Miss Georgia, Kristina Higgins relinquished her crown.' Was this another sex scandal or about something she said that was politically incorrect?' Was this about her perpetuating some fraud, like she was really a man, or that she'd had her whole body Botoxed?No!!' It's something that made me want to hug her to pieces.' It turns out that Ms. Higgins is a Gwinnett County school teacher, and she stepped down as Miss Georgia because she would not give up her responsibilities to the middle school children in her classes.'Yes, you read that correctly. She gave up her Miss Georgia title for her children!! When the runner up found out that she would now become Miss Georgia, she dropped her plans for starting the University of Georgia Law School (where she had just been accepted) like a hot potato.I am sooooo proud of Kristina Higgins.' She is a wonderful role model of a responsible young woman.If she had no intention of serving as Miss Georgia, you might ask, wasn't it a fraud to participate at all?' Nah.' First of all, there are a lot of entrants, and any one woman's possibility of winning is small, but the whole exercise is exciting and challenging and fun.' Maybe she was debating within her soul what she would do, and when the time came, she had the right stuff to do the right thing.' No matter - somebody else gets to wear the tiara.I wish a lot of parents would take a lesson from Kristina - who is putting her kids first.' Parents across the country should do the same thing. More >>

Tags: BehaviorCivilityPersonal ResponsibilityValues
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Tags: MarriageSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconThe good, the bad, and the ugly....That was the title of a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western (I loved all of them), but in this case, I'm referring to the Internet, but in the same way that I would refer to guns or electricity.' Do you think I've blown a mental fuse?' No.' Here's my outlook:Right now, the governments of China and Iran are working ceaselessly to block web access to its populace.' Why?' So information the government "does not want you to know about" won't get in, and the truth of what is going on inside these totalitarian regimes will not get out.Twitter, YouTube, Facebook and their ilk have revealed the atrocities against the people of Iran protesting the sham presidential elections.' Beatings and murders have been viewed around the world, as people have had the courage to use cell phones and such to take the governmentally prohibited pictures.This, obviously, is a case of calling the Internet GOOD.On the other hand, we have people in the United States of America (where communication is completely open, some say to an unfettered fault) using the Internet for pornography.This, obviously, is a case of calling the Internet BAD.Internet sites have been used to defame and harass people.' Internet sites are being used to "publish" speculation, opinion, and downright meanness as "fact."' Internet sites have been used to troll for victims in order to rob, rape, and murder.' Internet sites have been used to incite violence, threaten, and frighten.This, obviously, is a case of calling the Internet UGLY.Electricity and guns can be thought of in the same way:' you can get electrocuted by dropping a hair dryer in the tub when you're in it, or electricity can be used to run a ventilator and save lives.' Guns can be used in robberies and murders, or they can be used by the free to ward off tyranny and other assailants.Objects have no moral value - the way they are used is the issue - and that assessment is in the hands of the user.' We all have the ability to choose right from wrong.' Our choices, though, generally depend greatly on the human atmosphere around us.' For example, we are more likely to be able to do atrocious things if we're part of a group.' We wouldn't dream of doing them alone.' Yet, there are those who can perpetrate evil all on their own.We are more likely to choose good when we are surrounded by people supportive of "good," and judgmental of "bad."'' However, when the cultural atmosphere dissipates with respect to values and moral judgment, it's easy for an individual to operate out of the moment without regard to circumstances or their soul.'It takes a strong person to choose good for its own sake.' There is often little reward or regard given to them.' There was a time when a child, seeing a dollar fall from an elderly gentleman's pocket, would race to give it back to him.' He would then get his picture on the front page of the local paper - rewarding him for character.' Now, that same child would probably not even entertain the thought of returning the money.' What for?' Look around that child - parents cheat, politicians cheat, entertainers and sports stars cheat.' What's the motivation?The good, the bad, and the ugly - two out of three are on the wrong side.' You choose every day which side to be on.' Now, go do the right thing. More >>

Tags: InternetInternet-MediaInternet/MediaMoralsMorals, Ethics, ValuesPersonal ResponsibilityValues
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05/13/2010
IconOne of my listeners sent me a story about "Why the American Flag is Folded 13 Times."' This is another one of those emails that get passed around via the Internet, so we checked out the accuracy of the story.' It turns out that it is NOT true that there was originally a specific meaning to each fold and that's why there are 13 folds.' The American flag isn't folded this way because each of the folds has a symbolic meaning; the procedure for folding the flag 13 times was in place long before there was an assigned "meaning" to each fold.' These associations have sprung up over the years, and they have come to mean something to those who participate in the flag folding ceremony, but they are not the reason why a flag is folded 13 times.Nonetheless, I found the "meanings" that have been attributed to each fold very moving, and I'm posting them here as something to contemplate as we display our flags for the Fourth of July: The first fold of our flag is a symbol of life. The second fold is a symbol of our belief in eternal life. The third fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of our country to attain peace throughout the world. The fourth fold represents our weaker nature; for as American citizens trusting, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance. The fifth fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, 'Our Country, in dealing with other countries may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.' The sixth fold is for where our hearts lie.' It is with our heart that we pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. The seventh fold is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of our republic. The eighth fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day, and to honor mother, for whom it flies on Mother's Day. The ninth fold is a tribute to womanhood; for it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded. The tenth fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of our country since they were first born. The eleventh fold, in the eyes of a Hebrew citizen represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon, and glorifies in their eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The twelfth fold, the in the eyes of a Christian citizen, represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in their eyes, God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit. The thirteenth fold:' when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding us of our nation's motto:' 'In God We Trust.'' After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the Sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for us the rights, privileges and freedoms we enjoy today. The next time you see a flag ceremony honoring someone that has served our country, either in the Armed Forces or in our civilian services such as the police force or Fire Department, keep in mind all the important reasons behind each and every movement.' They have paid the ultimate sacrifice for all of us by honoring our flag and our country. More >>

Tags: MilitarySocial IssuesValues
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