Why am I not surprised when callers complain about the lack of respect their children display?' Simple.' Way too many parents never take on a leadership role in the first place.' It is profoundly sad to me when I give some direction to a parent which requires them to draw a line in the sand and I hear back, "But my son/daughter will get mad or pout."A recent caller wanted to know how to handle her sixteen year old daughter who wanted to bring a boyfriend with her on a family cruise.' I told her to tell her daughter that this was completely inappropriate and that she could go on a cruise with him when they were married adults.The mother just sucked in her breath and sighed in pain because, "She will just make our lives miserable."' Well, we now know how this parent runs her home: she give the kid(s) whatever will keep them from needing to be actually parented.' And, without proper parenting, these children grow up into out-of- control, disrespectful, entitlement-demanding, self-centered unhappy adults.Here is a letter from one mother who "gets it": Hi Dr. Laura: I just listened in amazement to the call from the mom who was afraid to tell her teenage daughter that the daughter's boyfriend could not come on a cruise with the family. Mom was afraid her daughter would pout. We have a teen daughter who would never dream of asking for a boyfriend to come on a trip with the family let alone pout if we said no. It's because as my husband smilingly tells the kids, we subscribe to the Reagan doctrine when it comes to child rearing:'' peace through strength. Deborah Amen to that. More >>

Kellogg's, the cereal and snack manufacturer, cancelled its lucrative sponsorship contract with Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps because he was caught on camera smoking marijuana last fall.' Apparently, all the other companies with similar contracts did not cancel their contracts with him.' However, USA Swimming, the sport's governing body, has suspended him from competition for three months.My point of view is "hurrah" to Kellogg's and USA Swimming team.' They are demonstrating to the children and young adults of America that the perks of fame are earned in an ongoing manner with not only the accomplishment (Gold Medals from the Olympics) but a continuous responsibility to represent the team, the sport, and personal character with honor.' Having consequences for bad judgment and stupid (as well as illegal) behaviors teaches children and young adults to think twice before sacrificing so much for so little. More >>

How did we as a people get so "knee jerk" about going into therapy every time we face a challenge or disappointment?One caller to my radio program was having her three year old son tested for muscular dystrophy, a devastating illness, and the results wouldn't be coming for two weeks.' She wanted to know how to "cope" with the two week wait.' I told her that she was simply going to feel stressed and scared - that was normal, and was to be "endured."' She, like many others realizing they had to feel some emotional pain for a while, asked if she should go into therapy!I asked her what she thought the folks who blazed the trail west in covered wagons did when people died of illness or accident, or if the Indians attacked or food got scarce?' Did they all line up in front of a therapist's tent to express their pain and look for a magic cure to get through the sometimes unpleasant realities of life, or did they pray, hold onto each other and ultimately....endure?She laughed, and said, "I see what you mean." We are sturdier creatures than we take credit for.' I am a licensed therapist, and there are, indeed, situations in which individuals cannot endure, due to a distinct compromise in a person's ability to be rational, such as mental illness or severe trauma.' In these situations, I refer people to mental health professionals.'But most things in life that we must deal with often are best served with some love, some advice, some prayer, and an acknowledgment that sometimes life just doesn't feel good for a while.I have told innumerable callers that there is no quick fix for a bad situation - and sometimes, there is no "fix" at all.' I tell them also to turn to each other (family and friends), rather than turn on each other with resentment, frustration, or anger.Much of life must be endured.' There is still always beauty, such as seeing the flowers among the fertilizer, and there is always light (hope and alternatives). More >>

Kids (naturally) and adults (neurotically) worry about death.' One recent caller's 12 year old son fretted about death a lot.' He worried that because he is the youngest, all the people who matter to him will die before him and leave him alone.As a bit of an aside, all vampire movies have at least one scene in which the vampire, an immortal, laments that he's had to lose every wife he's had, because they've aged and died, while he remained the same:' the emotional pain is horrible.' Many a vampire character has rued not being able to grow old and die with his beloved.What do these two issues have in common?' Simple.' Immortality cheapens the value and promise of life.' With "all the time in the world," there are no imperatives, no goals, no sense that every minute is important and should not be wasted.' People tend to procrastinate like crazy when they're given protracted time to complete something.' One of the most important aspects of life is that it is not infinite.Since we all have "x" amount of time to live (75 years on the average, without accidents or fatal illnesses), knowing that gives us the incentive to make the most out of each day.Children need to be reassured, but need more to learn how to "value" life, how to make "purpose," and not "fear" their focal point, and to enjoy those they love each and every day. More >>

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Recently, a male listener, with a very undeveloped maturity bone, called to complain about his new wife.' It seemed that she was no longer the party girl he dated for two months prior to the well-thought out marriage, and he was upset that she was starting to "nest."' How utterly disappointing and boring.I told him he had to dump her and find a drug addicted, alcoholic, promiscuous hussy to marry to keep the party going.'' And then I went onto the next caller.' It was that kind of day.It is important, though, to know what you want when you date; it saves time and emotion.' CNN.com recently posted a blog by Wendy Atterberry entitled, " Seven Traits to Investigate on a First Date ."' The seven were:1.' Pet situation,2.' Employment status3.' Dream vacation4.' Perfect Saturday night,5.' Perfect Sunday afternoon6.' Romantic aspirations ... dating for fun or marriage?7.' Kissing style.''''My take is that #6 should determine whether or not to even have a date in the first place.' I have told many women on my program that they should inquire as to the long-term intentions of the man before or at the beginning of the first date . "I'm dating to look for someone to share my life with and help raise my 84 children in a forever marriage...and why are you dating?" would be a good start as far as I'm concerned.'' If you both want to party, or only one is serious...it's important to know.Numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, are interesting and have importance down the line for the sake of mutual interest and compatibility of lifestyle, although a lot of that can change when one is in love.Number 2, employment status, is another one of those significant facts to know before you agree to a date.' Folks who are flaky, unstable, unmotivated or unprepared for adult lives shouldn't date.I was seriously stunned that the most important issues - for example, religion --' were left out.' It is an important bonding agent to have mutual spiritual identities.' Relationship with parents is also important, as it tells you a lot about the health of the extended family.' The desire to have children and about how many is an important issue, as is the determination to raise and love children or pay hired help to "raise" them and watch them grow from a busy distance.' Finances, debts, and philosophy of saving versus spending would be good to know in advance too.'Hobbies and other activities which can both build interest and mutual experiences, or interfere with the relationship and leave someone lonely are important as well.' Politics and life philosophy discussions would reveal similarities and differences (not always bad) in expectations, preferences, and attitudes''''Am I kidding?' Do I really think you folks should talk this seriously on the first date?' Shouldn't you just marinate in each other's furtive, sensual glances?No, I am not kidding.' Yes...even before the first date if you're spending some "get to know you" phone time.' And yes...romantic glances are wonderful. More >>

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Lately I have chastised a number of male callers for being "wussy." This label is often pinned on their wilted chests after I give some great advice which requires them to actually stand up at home and proclaim: "I am a man - not an animal!"...oh wait, that's from the movie "Elephant Man." Well, basically the problem is that most men today are afraid of their women.' Their wives can nag them into a grave and or cut 'em off from any affection, attention, appreciation and sex.' That's pretty powerful stuff.' And then women wonder why they don't have passion and respect for their men.I asked aloud on my radio program for men to tell me why they've cut off their own "giblets" by not taking care of business at home, even if their wives disagree with stuff that should be common sense (like the case of a 12 year old girl, who was wearing a thong and a short skirt which started and ended at her pubic area).Neil, a listener, sent this answer: "As a faithful listener and devotee of your program, I have heard you scold men for being afraid of the wives/women, instructing them to act like or be a man. As a man, I heartily applaud your directives and only wish it were that easy - to simply snap out of a momentary distraction or passing lack of strength.' Sadly and scarily, it is far from a mere lapse of attention or fortitude - we are in a veritable struggle for our male lives against an angry, entitled and politicized culture that belittles the role of fathers (sperm banks and single motherhood), demands equality just for starters and purveys an attitude of supremacy in schools (where two-thirds of today's college grads are females), the workplace and at home. "If only it were a matter of putting our collective foot down and simply demand respect, most of us men, husbands and fathers, would gladly oblige...stepping up to the plate to shoulder our responsibilities to protect and provide and lead - as we always have.'''"But when you're fighting with one arm tied behind your back, skating on a sheet of ice as the rules continually change without notice, there's little chance of success. "So, we back off, uncertain even of what it means to be a man; confused about what is expected, further unsure about what we will be allowed to do.' And, while I pity the beaten man today, I fear even more for the women, families and societies of tomorrow, who will bear the consequences of all of this misguided anti-male/masculinity behavior today." I second his concern. More >>

Transcription of Opening Monologue from Dr. Laura's program 1.23.2009 Dr. Laura: Well, we have another anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade "you can kill the babies in your body" law.' And there was a big march yesterday and, supposedly, our new president was going to be signing an executive order un-doing Bush's, which undid Clinton's, which undid the first Bush's (they went back and forth) about the government putting money in non-governmental foreign concerns, when there are abortions, so that we, the tax payers, wouldn't be paying for it.Now, apparently, there's going to be a lot of money in perpetuity, for the rest of all humanity, going to the number one baby-killing mechanism in the United States, which is, in my opinion, Planned Parenthood.' So I've been beseeched and besieged with people telling me to go to war over this.' I've given it great thought and slept on it.' Me?' I'm no wuss - if there's a battle to be fought, I'm there, with pearl-handled guns.' No question about it.However, approaching this issue of abortion through the legislature and the courts is a lost battle.' Totally lost battle, in my opinion.' And since I'm big on personal responsibility and moral choices, that's where this ought to go.I am here every day begging, pressuring, cajoling, negotiating, nagging people to do the right thing, especially when it comes to their kids.' Not divorcing, unless it's dangerous or destructive in some horrendous way, because kids need an intact family.' Not to have kids out of wedlock intentionally, because that ruins their lives, statistically speaking, emotionally and psychologically.' And not to have abortions.' You live with that for the rest of your life, and there's a dead human being who could've been somebody really special.So, basically, I sit here every day, well five days a week, and put pressure.' Pressure, pressure, pressure.' I give the arguments I can, write the books and support, what I believe, are more humane decisions.' And that's the way it's going to have to be.' The law could say that it's perfectly legal to rip a baby out of your body anytime you damn well want.' But the law can be there, and we can choose not to do it.' It's not against the law to not have an abortion.' It's not against the law to put a child in a situation for adoption.' And, is the only time we're going to do something, is when there's a law?' Can't we do the right thing without a badge in our face?So, in your families, you can teach your children that affordable housing means housing you can afford, not housing the tax payers can afford for you, but what you can afford for you.' I've lived in some sad situations, but that's because that's what I could afford.' So, for me, that was affordable housing.' To say somebody else has to afford your housing is not the mentality this country was built on.' And it's certainly not a mentality that makes you feel good about yourself.' That it's perfectly legal to get pregnant, abort, pregnant, abort, pregnant, abort, pregnant, abort, doesn't mean it's something you ought to do or it's a good thing to do.' It can't make you feel better as a person or a woman, when giving somebody you created the opportunity for life is a better choice.So I give up with the Planned Parenthood nonsense.' That, to me, is just part of the evil empire...that place.' And I give up with Roe vs. Wade.' I give up with that.' You're not going to get anywhere with that, folks.' Give that up and turn to each other.' Stop looking for the government to take care of this.' Look to yourself.' Influence each other.' Do the right thing; be open about it.' Anybody who's ever gotten pregnant in the wrong situation and put a baby up for adoption, say it out loud!' Make it be a wonderful thing!' Not a thing of shame, but a wonderful thing - that you were willing to sacrifice nine months of your life, plus the nine months it takes to get your body and mind back together again, in order that another human being, brought into this world by no fault of their own, no doing of their own, has a life.' You should be proud of yourself.' That's why when women call me and tell me they put children up for adoption they couldn't take care of, I tell them they're my heroes.' So, stop looking to the government for the handout, the bailout, the law.' You know what the right thing is to do.' You know.' You know the right thing to do.' Unfortunately, since the beginning of time (read the Bible) the influences around you try to dissuade you from doing the right thing.' Listen to the small, still voice:' Your conscience that tells you the truth.' Follow that voice.' If not, follow mine.' Okay? More >>