Jeremy, one of my listeners, wrote an impassioned email, shocked that a child psychologist is looking for someone to take care of her not yet born baby due in January. "I found it stunning that someone has already given up the chance to take care of their baby before it's even born.' You would think a child psychologist would know better, but even they want to put career before kid.' I wonder how important the kid would feel if he read his mother's ad 10 years from now - seeing his 'mother' in a hurry to find someone to take care of him as soon as he/she was born?" Well, that got my attention, and I clicked onto the job posting site, and leaving out the name and city of the woman in question, here's what she posted: "I am a child psychologist looking for a nanny for my baby who will be born in January. I am looking for a very special person who has experience with childcare- including caring for newborns. This person should have education in a field related to childcare/ psychology etc. and have had CPR training (or will get it). This person should be at least 25 years of age and responsible. This person should be exceptionally loving, patient, and sensitive... someone who I can trust with my new baby. I would like for this person to begin in February, providing approx 15 hours per week and then starting in April, approx 35 hours per week (7 hours per day, M-F). I am willing to pay the right person $11 per hour. If you think you are this person, please send resume to _________' and include your contact info. Thanks!" I don't even know where to start.' She wants someone with her education, CPR training, at least 25 years old, responsible, patient, loving and sensitive - someone who can be trusted with her newborn....ahh....isn't that the description of a mommy and not a nanny?''''You should also know that this therapist lives and works in a wealthy community.''''I couldn't resist...so, I answered the ad...kind of: "Dear 'Child Psychologist' Parent-to-be: Your posting asking for childcare for a yet to be born child has stirred up quite a bit of negative commentary...especially since you are someone trained in the emotional and psychological needs of children.' Would you be willing to offer a statement of explanation as to how your training led you to the conclusion that your hands- and heart-on parenting was not necessary for your child's healthy and happy development?" Sincerely, Dr. Laura Schlessinger''''The answer...well, an answer...came rather quickly: "I am shocked by this insensitive and judgmental email from you.' I wish I could stay home with my baby but I cannot afford to do this.' But this is none of your business.' You don't know me or anything about my life.' You are not a doctor of psychology.' You should keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself." I responded: "I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.' I merely gave you the information that has come to me and gave you the opportunity to explain your position in response to the emails I received.' There is nothing insensitive about concern for the well-being of a child and respect for the mother-child bond." Now - sidebar - as far as "not affording" to take care of her own baby, she was prepared to pay $1500/month and she lives in an extraordinarily wealthy part of the United States, and with a psychology license, she can always work evenings.'''''She responded: "You are very off base, insensitive, and downright incorrect to think or say that there should be any concern for the well-being of a child or a mother-child bond just because the mother must work.' Research shows (here it comes!) that it is the quality of the mother-child relationship that defines secure attachment, not whether the mother works.' I believe it is optimal for moms to stay with their babies as much as possible, but unfortunately, not everyone can afford to stay home everyday with their baby.' I hope that you show more sensitivity in the future." I'm confused...if she believes it is optimal for moms to stay with their babies, why does she cite research that says the opposite?' Also, why is a traditional viewpoint insensitive and judgmental while an "alternative" viewpoint is simply fact?''''My final communication ended with, "Frankly, I am concerned that you're not going to be there for your new infant.' You could always work at night after your baby starts sleeping through the night.' Until then, you could do what I assume you had in mind when you determined to be pregnant: be a mommy, your baby needs that from you and you will be wonderfully transformed by the experience.''''"Don't you understand why I am writing you?' I am trying to give you back the gift you're giving someone else for $11/hour.' Surely your studies have shown you how important the first three years of bonding to mother are?' It seems you've only taken in the feminista nonsense that mothering is all about the mother.''''"You see me as judgmental (there is a right and wrong) and insensitive - no way, I am trying to be sensitive to what you are giving up and what the child will miss in you." Warmly, drl More >>

When marriages get difficult, people "bail out" by divorcing, and flippantly propose that the kids will be fine.' When school children are failing classes, the tendency in American education is to drop standards on performance examinations, drop the tests altogether, or punish the hard-working children by eliminating valedictorian status.' When folks decide that their business or financial situation isn't paying off, they declare bankruptcy and ultimately give the bird to those who trusted them enough to do business with them.' When the auto industry makes cars that aren't popular, Congress votes to bail them out financially.' When mortgage companies and banks loan trillions of dollars to people who can't possibly pay their monthly bills, we have a world-wide financial crisis requiring the average, hard-working citizen to give up his or her compensation to save the day.' When people do stupid things, like put hot coffee between their legs while driving a car, a company has to pay out from its profits to compensate for a customer's irresponsibility.This is not really about finances.' As many have pointed out, during the Great Depression, unemployment was higher than 20%, and people found themselves unable to pay their bills through no fault of their own.' This is 2008, and unemployment is about 5%, and people find themselves unable to pay their bills totally by their own fault!' Why?' Because they want to live a lifestyle they have not yet earned.This is about character and honor as well as the philosophy of earning your blessings.' I have told many a parent not to buy a home for their newlywed children, because they would be robbing them of something to work towards together , in addition to the thrill of the accomplishment.Dozens of CEOs are walking away from disasters they helped create with hundreds of millions of dollars of "reward."' Millions of Americans are walking away from the disasters they greedily and irresponsibly signed up for by putting their names to a promise they could not keep.This is not the American spirit of old, and it's certainly not the way to bring up our young people.' I hope they have learned from this.'' Instead, I worry they're just blaming the Wall Street fat cats or the Federal government.' To quote Shakespeare: "the fault lies not in our stars...but in ourselves." More >>

Over a decade ago, as a guest on the Donahue television show, while I was attempting to explain the concepts of "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" (my current book at the time) to a pre-arranged hostile audience, I was inundated with bitter challenges on the issue of day care, which, interestingly, wasn't even an issue in the book.Fed up with the nonsense, I took control from Donahue (no simple task) and challenged the audience members to stand up if, after dying and coming back a second time, they would actually choose to be raised by a nanny, baby-sitter, or day care center.' Funny thing....nobody got up.As I have pointed out numerous times here, in my book "Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids," and on my radio program, adults have become so self-serving that the well-being and appropriate needs of children have been ferociously ignored or dismissed.' I've recently read national reports demonstrating that parents - even before they have children - are fighting for spots in day care centers!' I figure, if they can plan that far ahead, they certainly can plan to have a parent at home, or to wait to have children until they are able and willing to do the right thing for their family.I have been thoroughly amazed at how the injuries, abuse, and deaths of children in day care centers has left many attending families angry - but angry with the authorities for closing them down!' Can you imagine that?State auditors reviewing the California Department of Social Services compared the addresses of the state's licensed facilities (including foster family homes and day care centers) with the state's database of registered sex offenders, and found that the addresses of 49 sex offenders matched those of 46 child care facilities.' It should go without saying that convicted sex offenders shouldn't be employed in a facility for children.Nonetheless, of the 46 address matches, 25 were in Los Angeles, 8 in the Central California Valley, 7 in the San Francisco Bay area, 4 in San Diego, and 1 each in San Bernardino and Sacramento.' The verification process is under way - children are being interviewed, and some licenses are being suspended.' This "match up" procedure will surely miss the folks who got jobs under assumed names just to be nearer to children.It would seem that some people go to great lengths to be close to our kids...maybe we should be holding our kids even closer. More >>

I got these two emails the other day, and they came in almost back to back.' And I'm sad to say that I "get" it.' You're going to be horrified.'Kristen wrote: "My best friend and I were in the car the other day and heard a radio advertisement for a new dating service' (more like a disservice). It isn't your typical dating site, no, no; this site is for those looking to commit adultery. Their slogan? 'When Monogamy Becomes Monotony.' The tab on my internet browser even labeled it 'Married Dating.' Apparently dating these days isn't just for single folks anymore.' The first thing that popped into my head was, 'Boy I wonder how long it will take for someone to call Dr. Laura to tell her how they found this site on their spouse's 'favorites' list.' What a shame! I am proud to say that because of your sound advice and my early commitment to 'The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands,' my soon-to-be husband, of this July, would never consider such a "dating service."' Keep up the GREAT work Dr. Laura.' If anyone can combat the irresponsible use of such a filthy site, it's you!" Well, I thought that was well taken.' But, you see, she read and has committed to' "The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands."Then this came in , from a guy whose name I won't give, but after reading this, you'll understand who's going to be calling the "When You're Married" dating site.' He said: I heard, on your show yesterday that this guy stood up to the plate, helped his wife when she was sick, and what she did to say thank you for her appreciation.' I thought I would do something nice for my wife as we have been more like roommates rather that husband and wife. So when she came home the other night, I had dinner started; I asked her how her day had gone.' I made dinner: pasta, home made sauce, a nice salad, a glass of wine.' When she was done I cleaned up and while she was watching TV, I filled the tub with lots of bubbles, and' lit candles all around the top. (It is a big tub and two can fit in very easily.)' I poured two glasses of wine, got her robe and said, 'Close your eyes and come with me.'' She followed me into the bathroom and saw what I had done and said,' Are you crazy?' Is this supposed to get me excited about being intimate with you? I don't know what you were thinking, but I am tired and I don't need this.'' Anyway,I am sure someone out there would have appreciated the gesture. I think this is why guys wake up and say, I have had enough."' And then they call dating sites, and crank up porn, and have affairs.'When I wrote "The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands," everybody wanted to know why I didn't have "The Proper Care & Feeding Of Wives."' And I said that women control everything in intimate relationships,' and that it was much easier for a woman to change a man's mood, than it was for a man to change a woman's mood.' For example: A man comes home after a very bad day.' His wife greets him at the door, in some scanty negligee, and says "Honey, lets go make mad, passionate love."' The guy goes brain dead about his day, and has a great night.'A woman, however, comes home after a bad day.' Guy meets her in the altogether, and says, "Baby, let's go make mad, passionate love." And she's going to sound just like this wife: "Are you crazy?' Is this supposed to make me excited about being intimate with you? I don't know what you were thinking, but I am tired and I don't need this."' That would be the more typical response, because we women don't give up our moods that quickly.' We embrace them, with talons sunk in deep.' So, yeah.' I know it sounds shocking, but I know why there are sites where you can get some action.' Because, wherever there isn't the proper care and feeding of husbands, there's somebody that's going to log into one of those sites.' A husband who sets up the night like this guy did, whose wife goes, "Ooh, honey"' is never going to log into any of those sites.' Because he's got everything: wife, mother of his children, lover, and best friend...' There's nothing left to look for. More >>