Close
Premium Podcast Help Contact Dr. Laura Dr. Laura Designs Return to DrLaura.com
Join Family Premium Login Family
parenting
05/13/2010
Icon"Home-schooled students are routinely high performers on standardized academic tests, beating their public school peers on average by as much as 30 percentile points, regardless of the subject.' They perform well on tests like the SAT - and colleges actively recruit them both for their high scores and the diversity they bring to campus." (Wall Street Journal 3/22/08). The 166,000 families in California that choose to educate their children at home do so largely for three reasons:' religious, protecting their children from gangs and drugs, and mostly because they want to ensure their children a good education. Considering the overwhelming success of home-schooling, one would think it perplexing that a California court ruled in March that parents cannot home-school their children without government certification.' Fascinating, since non-credentialed parents spend their time teaching English, math and science precisely because they don't think the public schools do a good enough job! You should know that this whole court case was not about quality of education.' The case was initiated by the Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services after one - ONE - home-schooled child reportedly complained of physical abuse by his father.' A lawyer assigned to that child invoked the truancy law to get the children enrolled in a public school and away from the parents (California law requires children between six and 18 to attend a full-time day school.' Failure to comply means breaking the truancy laws). So, a single case of parental abuse is being used to promote the certification of all parents who make that huge commitment to their children's education.' Unbelievable. Between 1999 and 2003, the rate of home-schooling increased by 29% and the performance results speak for themselves.' Of course, the California Teacher's Union is ecstatic about this outcome - in spite of the facts that demonstrate that, on the average, children do better academically outside of their classrooms. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenParentingSocial IssuesValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconFor the life of me, I don't know what single women "by choice" tell their sons about what to look forward to in their futures.'"Randy" sent me the front page of her local newspaper, with an article touting "Moms Single By Choice."'' Randy writes: [The article is about w]omen in their late 30s or 40s who have no husbands but want a kid.' A few adopt, while sperm bank fertilization impregnates many of them. I have learned from listening to your radio program for the past two years that a woman's selfish desire to have a kid should be trumped by the needs of a child who would be best brought up in a two-parent family - mom and dad, married, with a stable home. Ninety percent of the article promotes this behavior as an acceptable "choice."' The article explains the pain a woman goes through when she realizes that Mr. Right is not coming as they age into their late 30s or early 40s.' The article sympathizes with these brave career women who can afford full-time nannies and day care.' One woman is quoted as saying that this was 'the best decision she ever made,' while the final word plainly says to 'go for it.'' There are a couple of brief paragraphs buried late in the article mentioning the conservative point of view.' It states that hundreds of studies have shows that mom and dad homes are superior to single-parent homes.' Also, very briefly stated is that 'choice mothers are, in effect, teaching their children that men are not important to families, marriages, or children.' I sympathize with the children of these single moms "by choice."' They are intentionally robbed of a father.' More than traditional money-earning, protecting and fixing things around the house, the dad does something else.' He has a place in the family where he shows monogamy and daily behavior as a father and man should behave.' He is a role model, and an example of the kind of person sons should grow up to resemble, and daughters should grow up to look for." Hey, Randy, in this "PC" and feminist-brainwashed society, whatever an adult wants always trumps what children need!' If a woman who never bothered to become "Miss Right," does want to devote herself to raising a child (without nannies and day-care), I'm all for her adopting an older or difficult-to-place child.' Now, that would be a God-send. More >>

Tags: AbortionFamilyFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFamily/Relationships - FamilyParentingRelativesValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconThe Claremont Institute ( http://www.claremont.org/ ) recently published two book reviews having to do with the significance of marriage to the well-being of children, and the cohesiveness of society in general.' The books reviewed are: "Marriage and Caste in America:' Separate and Unequal Families in a Post-Marital Age," by Kay S. Hymowitz, and "The Future of Marriage," by David Blankenhorn.These are two fascinating and informational books that you ought to read.' The reviewer, F. Carolyn Graglia, writes: "Over the past four decades, American adults have seemed more concerned with enjoying their own existence than with the generation and welfare of children." And in her book, Hymowitz writes: "Children of single mothers are less successful on just about every measure than children growing up with their married parents regardless of their income, race, or educational levels:' they are more prone to drug and alcohol abuse, to crime, and to school failure; they are less likely to graduate from college; they are more likelyl to have children at a young age, and more likely to do so when they are unmarried. Soaring divorce rates and out-of-wedlock births (37% of U. S.' births are illegitimate) have made ours a nation of separate and unequal families." The propensity to divorce is apparently correlated with two-income families. Hymowitz notes that the "traditional families, with breadwinner husband and stay-at-home wife had the lowest rate of divorce." Women employed 80% of the time since the birth of their first child are twice as likely to be divorced as stay-at-home moms.'Today, more than 40% of all first marriages end in divorce (the rates for second and third marriages are higher), and more than half of all U.S. children will spend "at least a significant part of their childhood living apart from their father." Shacking up, having babies out of wedlock as an entitlement for working women who don't have the time or inclination to create a marriage, having babies out of wedlock because of irresponsible sexual behavior (and not considering adoption to a two-parent mom and dad)...all of these now-normalized behaviors reek of narcissism and indicate that we worry less about children and more about adults being unfettered by morality, good sense, or compassion to the needs of children. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenMarriageParenting
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconThe Associated Press published a report on the New Jersey prosecutors who have subpoenaed records of JuicyCampus.com, a website that publishes anonymous, often malicious, gossip about college students.' For example, the Princeton University (yeah, the Ivy League school) site produces information such as "the most overrated Princeton student" with the commentary mostly filled with name-calling and slurs against homosexuals and Jews.The New Jersey Attorney General suggests that JuicyCampus may be violating the state's Consumer Fraud Act by implying that it doesn't allow offensive material, but then providing no enforcement of that rule, and no way for users to report or dispute the material.This site has recently expanded to more than 50 colleges, including Pepperdine University in California, whose student government voted overwhelmingly to request' a ban on the site, although the university has a policy against censoring websites.'The founder of JuicyCampus, Matt Ivester, seemingly is unconcerned about the backlash. "Like anything that is even remotely controversial, there are always people who demand censorship," he told the AP.It is typically disgusting of such types to invoke censorship issues when the true point is accountability and responsibility - concepts that have become four-letter words in American society.' This site, as abominable as it obviously is, is no different from the millions of blogger sites that already exist, full of hate, vitriol, lies, distortions and character assassinations all for the purpose of self-exaltation, power, meanness, and downright evil.'Our children obviously have learned all too well from the blogosphere and the general media.'Just the other day, I communicated with a "formerly esteemed" journalism professor (now retired), to question him on a piece he did about me and my "position" on marital infidelity.' He actually admitted that he did not vet the comments that were repeated and repeated all over the web; he admitted that he did not read the entire transcripts of my interviews; he admitted that he did not view the video on his own.' Can you imagine?' It's like the feathers released from a pillow on a breezy hill - all of them can never be reclaimed.I predicted that the Internet would further deplete what was left of the dignity of human discourse, as the basest of attitudes and impulses would be set free.' Any suggestion of the benefits of self-control, accountability, truth or fairness are countered with screams of "censorship!"' Defamation, libel, and slander against others are no longer seen as a line crossed, but as an opportunity for fame and money. "It is not possible for anyone to use this website to find out who you are or where you're located," assures a JuicyCampus privacy page. "We do not track any information that can be used by us to identify you." Cowards and evil-doers use these opportunities to spread their traditional ideas and hate as they hide behind "protection," while those they hurt have no protection at all. More >>

Tags: EducationParentingSchoolSocial Issues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconAccording to the Wall Street Journal (March 14, 2008) restaurant owners have identified a "worrisome" long-term trend: "The number of harried working moms isn't growing the way it was." What??' This is a worrisome trend for marriages and children?' I think not!' Instead, this is a worrisome trend for businesses built on the virtual dissolution of family bonding and togetherness.Since the percentage of women in the work force has been dropping, the result is less money in the family budget for eating out.' Fatty, salt-laden, hyper-caloric, oversized meals will have to go by the wayside for warm, home-cooked meals filling the home with luscious aromas and bringing a family together around their own kitchen table.Ahh....not to worry!' Restaurants are coming up with ideas to undermine all that syrupy "homey" stuff:' offering children's books, Etch-A-Sketch toys and handheld video games to appeal to children who might drag in their parents; and also coming up with ideas of pre-cooked meals moms can buy at the grocery.There is always hope that the disgusting new television program, "The Secret Life of A Soccer Mom" will simply succeed in seducing moms and wives away from their families to go back into some "dream" job..... More >>

Tags: Eat Less-Move MoreexerciseHealthParenting
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconThe results of the first national study to measure the most common sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) found in young women were released recently by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.According to the report, 3.2 million teenage girls between the ages of 14 and 19 were found to have the human papillovirus (HPV), chlamydia, genital herpes or trichomoniasis.' The study did not determine the number of girls who had HIV/AIDS, syphilis or gonorrhea.I don't know what qualifies as an epidemic here, but clearly, these numbers represent a crisis of monstrous proportions.' Responsible adults forming public should be figuring out how we can reverse the direction of these horrifying statistics.' The wholesale distribution of condoms and consensual counseling at the high school level has not dampened the levels of risky behavior among the nation's teens.' Sex education has apparently been successful at teaching our children how to do it...often, and clearly, not safely. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - TeensParentingSexTeens
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconMy, my, my.' My comments last week on why many men stray from their marriage vows generated more email to me than any one thing I've said in years.' 85% of the letters I received were wonderfully appreciative and supportive of what I said.' Men and women alike "got" what I was saying and acknowledged the need for husbands and wives to share the responsibility for the health of their marriages.'One wrote "After seeing you on The Today Show, I asked myself, 'Am I the kind of wife my husband wants to come home to?'' I look at each day as an opportunity to honor him.' Thank you for challenging me to have the courage to change.' My husband will never go a day without knowing his wife needs, loves and respects him." Another person emailed me because my comments motivated her to look at her own issues with the overall concept of personal responsibility.' This young woman wrote that she was motivated by my comments to stop her methamphetamine addiction: "I have chosen to quit.' Once you stop feeling like such a victim to some inanimate object (the pipe does not jump into your mouth on its own) you realize your power over it." Other folks, though, seemed absolutely apoplectic over my point of view that people need to take responsibility for their lives and their relationships.'Clearly this is the crux of the problem in this country.' The concept of promoting personal responsibility in a society that encourages victims to stay victims and glamorizes the bad behavior of celebrities and politicians seems to be a hot button that makes some folks' heads explode.' People tend to hold on to their anger, hurt and depression, especially if they don't have the tools they need to break out of the cycle of personal self-destruction.That's why I wrote Stop Whining, Start Living .' I wrote it because I wanted to help people enjoy their lives more and be more content inside themselves.' None of us can do that if we persist in the self-defeating notion that we are victims... that only leads to complaining and not LIVING.This book is not for people who want to embrace their problems - it's for people who want to solve them and move on to a more productive and happy life.' If you want to feel more in control of your situations in families, neighborhoods, jobs, etc., then you first have to look inside yourself and see what YOU are doing that you shouldn't be... or what you are NOT doing that you should be!' This is where the power to change everything comes in.Some people won't ever do this.' They hold on to sadness, victimhood and complaints.' But those who read Stop Whining with an open heart and mind will find the keys - through other people's real experiences and stories - to make their life easier and more pleasurable; to improve their lives as husbands, wives, parents, and friends, and to discover the joy of being an evolved human being.Getting letters and calls from people who have taken my advice to stop whining and turn themselves into productive members of society is all the inspiration I need to keep on keeping on.' That's what puts the smile on my face. Book signing tonight in Costa Mesa, California: And if you want to see me really smile and you live in L.A. or Orange County, come on down tonight to the Barnes and Noble at the Metro Pointe Mall in Costa Mesa at 7pm.' I'll be signing copies of the aforementioned new book, Stop Whining, Start Living for all of you who embrace your own personal responsibility. More >>

Tags: ChildrenMarriageMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingPersonal ResponsibilityValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconIt's been all over the news.' A "nanny-cam" in the home of two twin preemies showed the nanny handling the children like trash bags.' I mean, if you know it's going to be shown on Nancy Grace's television program, it has to be bad!The single most important issue, however, was never addressed.' Where were their parents?' These delicate babies were in the hands of hired help and not their own parents.' Nowhere in the news pieces did anyone suggest that these parents had to work or risk being homeless.' Quite the contrary.There are babies who have been forgotten, neglected, and abused in day-care centers.' Now, nannies are doing the same in the parents' home.' Parents themselves are forgetting their own children in cars, which literally causes the children to be poached to death.' When will the tide turn back to parents making their children their number one priority, and moving their dual careers or owning "things" to a lower spot on their list?' Until then, more horrifying stories are sure to come. More >>

Tags: anxietyChildrenFamily/Relationships - ChildrenHealthParentingStress
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconLast Thursday, I posted a blog about "passing the trash," a practice known within the educational system in which teachers who've allegedly engaged in sexual misconduct with a student resign and leave their school districts in exchange for confidentiality about their behavior.' I received many comments about that story, but this is one I want to share with you.' I've kept the writer's name confidential: Dr. Laura, as a former administrator of a small school district, let me tell you who the real villains are in these cases.' No school administration will admit it, but it's the teacher's union.' It's like going up against the mob, to come against one of their members.' And they don't care if their member is guilty or not.' They will use every tactic in the book to intimidate you into dropping your complaint.' Any time an administration tries to discipline teachers or even look into a complaint, the union is there fighting the administration.' They file lawsuits and nit pick at your procedures.' The teachers have free counsel and unlimited representation, covered by their dues.' Just to inquire into a complaint, the school [incurs] a great deal of cost, precious money that has to be taken from some other program or someone else's pocket. These types of complaints are the duty of the school board, and school boards are made up of volunteers - they don't get paid, but they can get sued, and must defend themselves with their own money.' It is a fight to correct an untenured teacher, and in fact, there is no way to fire or discipline a tenured one. We had a horrid teacher (and many complaints), and we tried everything under the sun to get him away from kids.' He had his ego stroked by being mean to kids.' We tried to pay him off and offer him early retirement, but he wouldn't go.' We were a small district with limited funds.' Eventually, the school had to close, and the man finally lost his job.' And no one around would hire him.' Our teacher was not a molester, but he was a "demeaner" - he enjoyed insulting kids. Although I do not agree with what these schools have done, I am not surprised.' If you have no proof that would hold up in court and kids who don't want to officially testify, but you know in your heart that this person has done these things, the teacher's union will spread [the word] that your school district is being very unfair to the teachers, and...will turn the hearing into a circus.' As parents and board members, you will do whatever it takes to get them out of your school - and hopefully, away from kids. More >>

Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - ChildrenParentingSchool
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconThe Boston Herald (February 25) reported that, in 2007, a record number of newborn babies were given up by their parents (in reality, probably just the mother) under Massachusetts' Baby Safe Haven program.The law came to pass after state Representative Barry R. Finegold (D-Andover) proposed the bill, which would allow a parent to legally surrender a baby, aged 7 days or less, at a hospital, police station, or manned fire station without facing criminal prosecution.' In other words, under certain conditions, Massachusetts legalized child abandonment.Honestly, I cannot understand the critics of this law.' They argue that the law creates an "easy out" for reluctant mothers.' Darn straight!' The fact is that these girls and women didn't legally kill the baby in their bodies, nor did they abandon them in a dumpster or toilet.' They knew that they couldn't raise a child and had an option which contributed to the well-being of that child and the adoptive family.Another criticism is that this strips children of their heritage.' Are you kidding? Since when does one's place on a genetic family tree trump a loving home environment?' They also say that this law promotes irresponsibility.' What?? What is more responsible than giving a child over to people who will arrange for the child to be loved and nurtured, when they know they cannot?The Department of Social Services, which oversees the Safe Haven program reports that the Baby Safe Haven hotline has helped thirty women to get into a parenting or adoption plan.' They also said that "parents give up their babies for various reasons, including post-partum psychosis, emotional immaturity, and social isolation."' Whatever the reasons, the woman is still making a conscious choice to "save" her baby from her own emotional and social problems.' I say these women are heroes. More >>

Tags: ChildrenParenting
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe