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From a listener to my radio program: Dr. Laura, I want to thank you for the special moments that you helped me have.' As a listener, my husband and I decided that I would stay home with our 2 month old baby boy even before he was born.' I must admit that it's hard financially, but we understand that our son is more important than luxury. Yesterday, I had a "tear-jerker" moment.' After feeding my son, I got up and started to clean the room.' After a while, I saw him moving.' He was putting his little hand above his head, feeling for the place where my arm had just been.' Then he stretched his arms and legs in front of him where I had been lying before.' I realized he was looking for me.' His little face began to prepare to cry.' I then placed my hand on his side.' "I'm right here, baby."' He then opened his eyes.' On seeing me, he smiled his gummy smile. I stayed there, smoothing out his hair, until he fell back to sleep, but I couldn't help thinking, what if I had been at work?' What if he was with a sitter or at day care?' I wouldn't have had that moment, and he wouldn't have been comforted. I know, because I used to work at a day care center - he would have been left crying, because he had been fed and his diaper had been changed. As an ex-day care worker, I know that children are not cared for lovingly.' They just have their physical needs met, but not their emotional needs. There were so many kids who called me "mommy," and that was only because I was doing her job while doing mine.' The fact was, "mommy" wasn't there.' But I was and am here for our son.' Thank you. More >>

I never gave a second thought to the flu or prophylactic vaccines until that one day the symptoms hit like a sledge hammer.' I was in the middle of a counseling session, when my joints spontaneously began hurting.' All of a sudden, I started to feel so weak that I couldn't believe it, and got a bit frightened.' I had to tell my client "I'm so sorry - I'm not feeling well.' We'll have to finish this session some other time." I then called my husband to come and get me.' By the time I got home, the total body pain was so great I could barely tolerate getting my street clothes off and my p.j.'s on.' After that experience, I started getting my flu shots every year, and never had a recurrence.Well, I'm here to nag you!' The flu-shot season has officially begun, and according to Dr. William Schaffner, President-elect of the National Foundation for Infectious Diseases, "People should start getting vaccinated now...yesterday, actually." There's an ample supply of vaccine this year - somewhere between 143 to 146 million doses (more than ever before manufactured).' As you probably remember, last year's vaccine was somewhat inadequate, because a surprise new influenza strain emerged.' The Centers for Disease Control (CDC)' has checked around the world where the flu virus is already circulating, however, and has found that this year's vaccine is a good match.For those of you who are stubborn about getting these shots, you should know that flu hospitalizes about 200,000 people a year, and kills about 36,000.'You have a choice in vaccines.' The old fashioned flu shot is good for all ages, and the nasal vaccine FluMist can be used in healthy people aged 2 to 49.'The CDC says that 261 million Americans qualify for the shot.' For the first time, the CDC is recommending that every child, age 6 months to 18 years, be inoculated, unless they have a serious egg allergy.' Any child under 9 years of age who is being vaccinated for the first time will need two doses, a month apart.' A single dose suffices for everyone else.There are scads of local places to get flu shots, and you can find out where at www.findaflushot.com . More >>

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Friday, September 19, 2008, I was reading the last page of the "Weekend Journal" in The Wall Street Journal .' It was adapted from a commencement speech given by David Foster Wallace to the 2005 graduating class at Kenyon College.' Mr. Wallace, 46, died'recently, an apparent suicide.I thought it odd that an entire page of The Wall Street Journal was dedicated to the musings of a man who opted out of life after giving advice to young people just beginning their adult foray into the trials and tribulations of existence.The main focus of his presentation to the students seemed to be on the issue of self-centeredness: "It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth.' Think about it:' there is no experience you've had that you were not at the absolute center of.' The world as you experience it is right there in front of you, or behind you, to the left or right of you, on your TV, or your monitor, or whatever.' Other people's thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow, but your own are so immediate, urgent, real - you get the idea.' But please don't worry that I'm getting ready to preach to you about compassion or other-directedness or the so-called 'virtues.'' This is not a matter of virtue - it is a matter of my choosing to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default setting, which is to be deeply and literally self-centered, and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self." First, he is "right on" with the hard-wiring of self-centeredness.' I remember my mother telling me once that when, as a teenager, she experienced the death of her mother from breast cancer, and was consumed with grief, that she looked out her window to see people outside driving, walking, talking, and going about their business as though nothing had happened.' She related feeling shocked that, somehow, the whole world did not stand still as did her own heart.It is obvious that, of course, we are the most absorbed by our immediate environment and experiences....which pretty much means ourselves.' However, Mr. Wallace's consistent dismissal of virtues is perhaps what was missing from his life. Seeing, acknowledging, and caring about others does not necessarily come naturally.' It is a virtue taught by parents and community as well as by religious teachings.' One of the most central aspects of religious training is to "love thy neighbor."' Why?' Just because it's "nice?"' No, although it is nice.' It is because caring for those outside yourself gives you a connectedness that minimized loneliness and a purpose which minimizes despair.Towards the end of his speech, he points out: "The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little un-sexy ways, every day.' That is real freedom." He then asks the audience to "please don't dismiss it as some finger-wagging Dr. Laura sermon.' None of this is about morality, or religion, or dogma or big fancy questions of life after death.' It is about making it to 30 or maybe 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head." So, in attempting to enlighten the young people about a bigger value in life - commitment and obligation to others - he came back to his essential hard-wiring:' it is all about living in a way which makes you not want to kill yourself.' Ironically, his thought process came all the way back to being self-centered.In eschewing morality, religion, dogma, considerations of eternity - all of which he assembled under "finger-wagging Dr. Laura sermon[s]," he disconnected himself from the kind of motivation, identification, support and spiritual reward which may have kept him from committing suicide.' Sad, really. More >>

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I am watching TV news early this morning and hear that Senator McCain is suspending his campaign for President of the United States to stay in Washington, D.C. to actually do the job he's been elected to and getting a salary for.' I also hear that whether or not a plan is agreed upon to deal with the financial crisis of the United States, that Senator Obama will leave Washington D.C. early this morning to continue his campaign for President.After talking to one of my friends who quipped: "McCain is using this opportunity as a campaign maneuver." I said, "Hey, he's actually doing the job he's being paid for." I am always impressed when a politician takes personal responsibility to actually do their job.Unfortunately, by noontime, Senator McCain apparently had decided that he had completed the job and decided to call it a day and head off to join Senator Obama for a long weekend of campaigning.What other job is there in the known universe where you can get elected, have a nice title, get paid a really good salary, have fabulous job security for two to six years, and then spend most of your time working towards another job?' Only the job in Congress!' We have Senators from Arizona and Illinois who are spending just about every waking hour vying for the Oval Office, and a Governor from Alaska together with a Senator from Delaware who are trying to get second dibs on Air Force One.I, for one, believe that they all should have resigned to run for further office, and left the support of their constituents to someone who's doing the job full time. More >>

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Perhaps you've seen the TV ad?' It begins with a family scene, where the father has gotten one of that company's cell phones, which permits the selection of certain people as "favorites."' Everyone is making suggestions as to who should be among his "favorites," and the eight-year-old son, in front of Mommy, suggests that Dad put in the number of the woman he stares at during the son's ball games!' There is absolutely no reaction from anyone.The teenage daughter then suggests her boyfriend (who has a mustache), and the Dad says that the "fine print" indicates that no kid with a mustache is permitted, and then he proceeds to call his daughter "dude."Using behaviors destructive to families is not my idea of good sales practices.' T-Mobile is off my radar.' I can't imagine a group of executives sitting around in a brainstorming session thinking this would make for a great sales incentive.' I can't imagine TV executives agreeing to play these ads.' I can't imagine anyone at home watching and thinking "this is cute," and feeling driven to buy T-Mobile's products or services.' I can't imagine ever buying one of their products. More >>

I have been a big fan of the television show The Closer , starring Kyra Sedgwick.' It has a great ensemble cast, and it's fun to watch the (generally implausible) twists and turns as she has those "aha!" moments, based on some innocuous comment made by someone totally unrelated to the situation at hand.One recent episode, however, ended on an entirely amoral note.' Frankly, the plots are often too complicated to summarize, but here goes: an illegal alien takes sanctuary in a church to avoid deportation and to avoid becoming a murder victim at the hands of international drug-dealing "bad guys." The bad guys are "setting up" the illegal so that he will end up in prison, where they can kill him for his lack of loyalty.' Apparently, if you're the target of a "hit," being in prison makes you quite accessible, because you're surrounded by bad guys who'll contract out the job in exchange for cigarettes, comic books, or whatever.A policeman from the drug-providing country comes to "help," but turns out to be one of the bad guys.' Kyra, the "closer" of the title, upon discovering his true mission, threatens to put him in jail under the name of the illegal in order to 1) scare him into talking, and 2) possibly give the illegal good guy a new identity.I thought that the threat was a clever ploy.' However, the "bad guy" foreign policeman didn't collapse under the threat.' Kyra followed through with her threat, and he was subsequently misidentified as the illegal alien "good guy" and murdered while in custody.' Now the illegal alien had his own special type of witness protection program.The program actually ended that way - with no one questioning the immorality or illegality of Kyra setting up the foreign cop for murder by his fellow bad guys.' It just ended up with everyone being content with the outcome.While it is particularly satisfying to me when bad guys get their just deserts, it is not satisfying to watch role-models misuse the system to exact their own vengeance.' I was tremendously disappointed with the writers and producers, and with Kyra for agreeing to leave the story line intact. More >>