It is understandable that I have received a lot of inquiries about my reaction to Don Imus' problem, as I am also a radio talk show host (32 years) who has taken flack for "objections" to my point of view.The main problem with Imus' comments is that they were in no way taken out of context - they were a direct assault on a group of women for whom the words did not match the reality.' In fact, as a woman, and as a woman often under public attack, I am so very proud of the statement given by one of the Rutgers University basketball players:'"'I am a woman, and I'm someone's child,' said Kia Vaughn.' 'I achieve'a lot.' And unless they've given this name, a 'ho, a new definition, then'that is not what I am.'' She stood with her teammates, a row of unbowed,'confident women. ( Time, April 12, 2007 )Now that's impressive.However, someone will have to tell me when it was that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson apologized for their verbal assaults on the Duke lacrosse players who were wrongly accused of rape and battery.' When will music stores stop selling Eminem's music, filled with violent, ugly commentary about women and homosexuals?' I want also to know when Rosie O'Donnell will get her last paycheck after commentary declaring that America killed its own on 9/11?' I'm also curious about all the demeaning, misogynistic, crude and violent lyrics in rap music which flourish in music stores and on television.' And gosh, if the ACLU can come out in force to stand behind the Ku Klux Klan and the Aryan Nation, why no peep about Imus?' How is it that [Howard] Stern's career can survive to the hundreds of millions in compensation after his wondering out loud why the Columbine murderers did not rape the girls before killing them?Note:' There are no problems in the African-American community caused by Imus.' Not one.'' Perhaps black leaders might take note of that and focus in on what is really important:' gangs, drugs, and out-of-wedlock children.As for Imus, it would seem his arrogance caught up with him.' His remark was insulting, stupid, mean and ugly.' It was so seemingly "off-the-cuff," that it felt too casually familiar a thing for him to say. More >>

"But why should I have to do 'X' when I don't feel like it?"That is by far the single most expressed sentiment to excuse oneself from fulfilling obligations to others. Feelings have been elevated from the mercurial and temporary to positions of absolute truth and power. "I feel that..." is most always used when one actually is expressing thoughts, beliefs, opinions, guesses, and concerns.One of the most typical problems in marriages is not religion, politics or finances - it's the issue of sexuality. For the most part, the pattern is that a man and woman have a great out-of-wedlock sexual relationship, full of passion and spontaneity. Once married, and especially once children come on the scene, too many women "feel" less and less like being their husband's lover and girlfriend. I have talked to hundreds, if not thousands, of women over the more than thirty years I've been on radio, and the story is always the same: "I'm just too tired...or...annoyed to feel like having sex." I ask them what they expect their husbands to do. "Be understanding," they say.I then ask these wives if they would suggest their husbands take advantage of a hooker, Internet porn, or a girlfriend on the side to fulfill their needs for affection and sexual activity. Once I get their attention...I move on to several points: 1. If there is "too much on your plate," cut stuff out. You cannot properly maintain a marital relationship when you leave almost no time and energy for it. That means that full-time jobs, children, a home, and your parents and friends take up your life and leave no room for the man who would give his life for you. This is also a breach of your vows to love and honor. 2. There are lots of things you don't feel like doing - but you do them anyway because you have obligations to others. Your husband doesn't feel like visiting your mother, taking you shopping, listening to your repetitive stories and gripes about your sister, going out for tampons, and so forth - but he does it anyway because he loves you . Imagine a world where everybody only did what they felt like doing??? 3. I never wake up feeling like working out, but I get up anyway. I put on my workout clothes, get some water, and start pumping weights. Once I get started, I feel very good about what I'm doing and how it is impacting my body. Well, once you get into foreplay, you'll probably start getting into it too! That means you need to take a nice shower or bath, use some sweet-smelling perfume or body powder, put on something adorable and start flirting with your man - it won't take long for you TO FEEL LIKE IT! 4. Life is short - never turn down a perfectly good orgasm- on your death bed, you'll regret it. There is hardly a better way to reconnect and reaffirm your love and attachment - this is the ultimate bonding technique. 5. You made vows to "love and cherish," so do it or don't expect much in return. That means, don't call me complaining about no Valentine's or Anniversary present when you haven't treated your man like your man and your lover . If you don't make the effort to make him feel special to you - don't expect it in return. More >>

First, full disclosure. Years ago, a journalist from Vanity Fair called me. She was supposedly friends for 20 years with my then-chief of staff, and wanted to interview me. And having some brains in my head (I don't trust this stuff), I asked my associate about her, and she said "Y'know, she's been a friend of mine; I'll vouch for her." So, I said 'OK, I'll call her, feel it out, and then make a decision.'I called her, and she gave me a line of lies (that I found out later were a line of lies) about how I was a cultural phenomenon and she wanted to study this sociologically, and understand the points of view about how they became popular (but they weren't), and she gave me this whole line, and I thought "OK, I like the point of view; she's supposedly friends with my chief-of-staff who has known her and says she's a decent person," and I agreed to do it.Meanwhile, my editor at HarperCollins said "Don't. Trust me on this. Don't. Trust me on this. Don't. Trust me on this. Don't." Turns out (I'm going to go back and forth in history a little bit), after the article was out, my editor, who was protecting her source who was a dear friend who worked at Vanity Fair , said "I couldn't tell you because I promised " - don't you hate those? --- I couldn't tell you, because I promised, but that Vanity Fair , according to my source (a male who works there, whose name I do not know, or I'd give it right now) said that they actually had a planning meeting to set me up and do a hatchet piece. I'm telling you this because I want clarity that what I'm about to say is not vengeance. You've heard me say I love vengeance....I love it. Justice, vengeance - all one thing to me. I love it! And you've also heard how I want you to go get it, usually by being really nice ('cause that kills the bad guys) and being happy and successful.That woman from Vanity Fair came for the first meeting with me and I knew I was in trouble, when I came in and sat down, and she took a look at my figure and disdainfully asked me if I was a size zero, while she was somewhere between fat and obese, and I was trying to get her an appropriate sandwich, but she wanted to eat something with a lot of mayonnaise - I knew there was a problem from that point on, to be honest with you. And I was right. It was just a nasty hatchet piece of people saying gossipy stupid things and it was really mean. The writer's name is Leslie Bennetts. Really mean . But I found out way too late that that was Vanity Fair 's plan - it was their little editorial meeting, according to my editor at HarperCollins who's not there anymore and not related to this. But she didn't tell me in time. She said, "Well, I warned you!" A little more information would have been more helpful.The reason I'm bringing this up as disclosure, is that this same person is coming out with a book pretty much telling women not to stay home with their kids. Now, let me say something about women's magazines. By and large, women's magazines completely ignore me. "I am my kid's mom." You'd think one year in 31 years that I've been in the media - that one year I would have been made "Mother of the Year" in one woman's magazine. A couple of years ago, we tried to have a women's magazine "editor and publisher" luncheon with me when one of my new books came out. HarperCollins was going to pay for the lunch, I was going to appear...everybody eats, and I'd do a Q&A. They had to cancel it - nobody would come. Whenever they do articles like on mothers staying home, who do you think in the entire United States you would really think they'd ask for a quote, besides me? It doesn't happen. Okay?So, I want you to know that I've been getting e-mails from you folks about Ladies Home Journal and Glamour magazine doing a little one-page on this book which is encouraging women to do the wrong thing and be paranoid. Let me just share with you two of these letters. This one is from Christie: I was appalled today when a friend e-mailed this to me from Glamour magazine. The article tells stay-at-home moms that they will become dependent financially and lose themselves. I'm a stay-at-home mom to a beautiful six month old baby girl. I am a wife to a Navy officer (my warrior!), and I am dependent on him. Yet, I know that my family is dependent on me! My husband and child NEED me to do the tasks that make our home run smoothly in order to feel safe, secure and loved! I thank you for reminding your listeners on a daily basis the importance of being dependent on your spouse in your marriage both ways, and to be your kids' parents. Yes! That's the part Leslie doesn't seem to get! I don't know what her home life is like, but mutual dependency is a good marriage. This is from Jennifer: I was appalled at coming across an article in Ladies Home Journal (like a rabbit, it keeps multiplying!) . It's entitled "Why Moms Should Work." For women who have quit their jobs to stay home with the kids full-time, here's a reason to think twice. There's a whole page article she writes about why you shouldn't stay home with your kids. You have to read this! I will only tell you the last paragraph of the article. It says: "There's stress attached to everything we do. Women need to accept that it's fine to be a good-enough parent, a good-enough homemaker, a good-enough wife. We have richer, more satisfying lives when we do a reasonably good job at a multiple of tasks, than when we strive for this insane perfectionism in a single, limited role." I was crushed that she called staying at home with your children a limited role. I'm my 7 year old son's mom and the wife of my husband of 10 years. I'm certainly proud of that and firmly believe the reason my life is so good is because of women like you, Dr. Laura. You believe in us, and we praise you for that. I can't thank you enough for your voice, what you do for your country, and thank you for the tools for a happy home. And that includes staying home with our children. By the way, across the country, young women are jettisoning careers to stay home with their kids. According to The Wall Street Journal (printing information from the US Census Bureau), an estimated almost 6 million mothers stayed home to care for their families in 2005 - 1.2 million more than a decade ago. The trend of opting-out has been broader than previously believed, with women at all income levels taking job breaks. Meanwhile, Leslie Bennetts is paranoid about divorce, your spouse losing a job, and widowhood, as though the only answer to that was across-the-board "do not be at home, do not take care of your kids, do not be your husband's girlfriend"....get your job, be secure, just in case something horrible happens. Well, my answer to something horrible happening is find another way to deal with it if and when it does, rather than knee-jerking, giving up on your family.Last but not least, I'm going to close with this letter from Yvette: Thank you so much for your hard-hitting, yet Godly (if I may say so) advice. I had considered divorcing my husband, pursuing a Vice President job within a Fortune 500 Top 50 company, until I recently took your words to heart. My dear and understanding (for the most part) husband and I have been married for over 13 years, and we have a phenomenal 10 year old son. Although I had read many of your insightful books, I still worked 60 or so hours a week. I claim only stupidity, selfish desires and adhering to the current social norm. I have recently been available to listen to your daily broadcast, which is a godsend. Dr. Laura, I am so self-centered, that I was focusing solely on my career, impressing my boss, scoring myself the bigger paycheck, and securing the coveted VP slot, that I put my marriage and motherhood on the back burner. I must say, you have reminded me of my true calling. Thank you so much. I am now about to become my son's mom and my husband's wife. Thank you for helping me realize that no paycheck, no status can take the place of my true calling. For the first time I can remember, I actually apologized to my dear husband for not listening. Dr. Laura, it finally occurred to me that if I don't listen to my husband (who is, by the way, the most selfless person in the world and only has our family's best at heart) I'll never be blessed in the way that God desires. Of course, this occurred while I work. So I have a journey ahead. I know that sometimes we all need something from another person, therefore, please remember that, in reciprocation, I am ready to be of service to you in any way I can. You go home and take care of your babies. That's how you'll be of service to all the world - a better chance of raising good kids to be decent citizens, to go out and do wonderful things in the world.So, my comments about Leslie Bennetts' book are not vengeance. I have gone on to be happy, functional, secure, and continue with my career. That's my vengeance on what she tried to do. But warning you that women's magazines, and this sort of book, do not function in the best interests of families, children, or women is important to me. Encouraging women to do the wrong thing by making them paranoid about disasters, so they should only strive to be good-enough moms when they're around, good-enough wives if they have the time, but the work is everything, is exactly what for decades and decades women complained their men were doing. And paranoid feminists like Leslie Bennetts are telling you to go backwards in history and hurt the family... just like men who were never home and never involved did. More >>

I got an e-mail recently which just about made me throw up. I don't throw up easily. I like to keep what's inside of me there , unless it's supposed to leave, but this pretty much almost put me over the edge, because my baby's over there.This is from Kathleen. She says: I hope you inform your listeners about the anti-war protestors in Portland who burned in effigy a United States soldier. I can't even find the words that would be printable to describe how I feel. Well, I have the words, but let me finish her letter: A car was allowed to pass through a checkpoint in Iraq, because the car had two children in the back seat. The adults got by the checkpoint, left the car, and blew it up, with the children in it. Now, I realize in my position, I need to behave appropriately as a role model, but I am so enraged that most of America is so damned "wussy-weak" that you people actually allowed protestors in Portland to burn in effigy a US soldier, with not a greater counter-demonstration. How could you do that??Let me just explain what kind of bugs, what kind of animals, what kind of creeps would burn in effigy a US soldier? Why aren't they burning in effigy a Muslim terrorist? How about burning in effigy a Muslim terrorist who hides behind civilians, so that when American or international forces have to deal with them, they allow civilians to be killed, and then say, "See? America's bad!" How about burning in effigy a Muslim terrorist who uses children to get through a checkpoint, because they know Americans won't stop or fire on a car with kids, and then they blow the children up as part of a car bomb?Instead, we have bugs in this country like Jane Fonda, Rosie O'Donnell, Martin Sheen, Bill Maher, Sean Penn, Susan Sarandon....the list goes on and on and on in Congress and all over the United States. You've got people blowing up their own people praying, shopping, going to school? These Muslim terrorists are murdering people by the scores every day, and we have people in the United States burning in effigy a US soldier? What in the hell has happened to this country, that we quietly stand by and just go "eh."And another thing....I'm a little tired of CAIR - the Council on American-Islamic Relations. They spend their time, it would appear to me, trying to silence radio, television and print who make any comments about Islam, Muslims, Mohammed - anything - so that everybody will be intimidated into silence. Why? Well I don't think they understand that in this country, we're entitled to opinions. I know in totalitarian theocracies, they're not entitled to opinions except those approved by the state - they're beheaded. I would like to see CAIR mobilize every Muslim in the world to close in on the Middle East and squash the bugs who blow up innocent people praying, shopping, going to school, sleeping in their beds. That's what I want CAIR to spend its time and money on. I hear rumors that CAIR's money goes to terrorism things - I don't have any facts on that - I just hear the rumors. But still, the best way to have good relationships with America is to have all the Muslims in the world stop the terrorists. I am told that the terrorism faction of Islam is very small, so I think that this would be an easy thing for them to do. 98% are pro-peace, pro-love, pro-freedom - go for it! Stop the bugs, so that we don't have to. Stop the people who blow up children for power. Stop the people who blow up the police, the people who clean in the street, and mothers holding their babies. That's what I want to see CAIR do, instead of intimidating talk show hosts all over America. I'm bored with that. I don't know if anybody else is, but I'm bored with that. Scaring people out of speech?So, it's not that I think the protestors in Portland who burned in effigy a US soldier shouldn't have speech rights, but this is so ignorant, so stupid, so off the mark that it should be intolerable to some extent. I know we allow Nazis to parade in the streets, because we're supposed to have free speech - I understand that. But what I don't get is that there wasn't an equal and opposite protest. It's the bad guys who have the giblets, the energy and the will, and if the good guys don't get into gear and stop the bad guys - if the good Muslims don't stop the bad Muslims, if the good Americans don't stop the bad Americans - we're going to lose the world and lose our country, and lose freedom in the world, because we're pretty much the center of it.Burning in effigy a US soldier. Mind you, our young men and women volunteer to live under disgusting conditions, and be paid almost nothing - they have to buy their own freaking uniforms to go into training and into battle -- they come back maimed or dead, changed forever, to free people to create a democracy. And there are people in this country who dare to sneer at that? I'm a proud mother of an American soldier. My boy Is over there risking his life with a bunch of other people's boys and daughters to stop people from blowing up children, blowing up worshippers in a mosque, blowing up people in their villages and in their markets - that's what our children are doing. And for all you morons and creeps and bugs who burned in effigy a US soldier - what are your children doing that's of any value whatsoever?So I'm making a challenge. I want all you decent people who have a grip on reality to get out of your comfortable homes and stand up against this. Come out with your banners, come out with your music, come out with your flags. I want to see Patriot Guard, Hell's Angels, everybody out there on their bikes...whoever. I mean, Rosie O'Donnell on "The View" makes a comment that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who said he was responsible for beheading Mr. Pearl, who was responsible for 9/11 and all this stuff, she had the nerve to go on her show, using her vast understanding of counterterrorism operations and in-depth knowledge, to cast doubts on his confession, when there is information confirming everything he said from a number of sources. Why is her knee-jerk thing that we're hurting somebody? Does she realize that this guy killed thousands and she's protecting him? Does she not realize that, as a lesbian, she'd be one of the first ones eliminated by these people? They're not very pro-gay rights! Even that doesn't stop her! And I understand somebody else is giving her yet another TV show. Soon, there's going to be nothing on television, in the newspapers, because what is it? What is the percentage of people in this country who can't and don't read?I'm done. I'm done. I don't really care to take time on my radio show to talk "politics." I don't see this as politics. I call this "survival of America." This is way past politics. I don't really give a damn if it's a Democrat or a Republican who gets into office as long as they will protect the United States....with force, if necessary. Gosh darn, we had these kind of morons out there, even in World War II, but they crossed the line, and you have to let them know they crossed the line. Bringing death to our American soldiers who volunteer to protect this country and everybody in it for the right to even be a moron - there has to be a line. I am the proud mother of a deployed American paratrooper. Hoo-ah! And I spit on people who use kids as shields, and I spit on people who burn US soldiers in effigy. I spit on you both. 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The following is an excerpt from my radio program from last week: Dr. Laura: Jay, welcome to the program.Jay: Doctor, thank you very much for taking my call, ma'am.Dr. Laura: My pleasure.Jay: I am an ex-military soldier with a loss of limb, and I'm having a difficult time reconciling between being revered as (quote) "a war hero" and reviled as an oppressor. Friends, family...Dr. Laura: Who reviles you as an oppressor?Jay: ' Believe it or not, my family.Dr. Laura: You mean your mother and father?Jay: And my sister as well.Dr. Laura: Who do they think you oppressed? I mean, how stupid is your family? Jay: My family is....ah, they're not "with" the current times. My sister is currently in India, in her second marriage. She married a Pakistani of all things.Dr. Laura: Oh. And she doesn't understand the problems between Pakistan and India?Jay: No.Dr. Laura: But she's living there...Jay: Well, she chooses not to...Dr. Laura: Has she been on a train that's been blown up yet?Jay: No, and I certainly hope she's not.Dr. Laura: I mean, this is just stupid. I always want to tell these people, gee, why don't you go march in front of, let's do some history, I don't know....let's march in front of Imperial Japan, Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy, militant Islam right now, you go march in front of the Taliban, Hamas, Hezbollah, the Brotherhood, Al Qaeda....you go march over there and talk about oppression! To tell an American soldier that he oppressed somebody is somewhere between stupid, ignorant and evil.And you know what, Jay?Jay: I did my job.Dr. Laura: Jay....Jay: I did my job.Dr. Laura: You can't just say you did your job. They said that in Nuremburg. That's not the truth. You stood between the innocent and evil. And more evil cropped up. So now we have a worse time dealing with evil. People who have killed their own just for the sake of some power in their town. These are oppressors. You don't see anybody in Minneapolis taking out a whole segment of Minneapolis, because they're of the same religion, but they believe a little differently.Jay: You don't think that's a little extreme, in comparison?Dr. Laura: No. Why would that be extreme in comparison? That's exactly....that is a fair, complete, absolute parallel. They go to schools and mosques, and kill each other, for no other reason than power. That's oppression. You don't see one city in the United States of America or Britain where that happens.Jay: Well, that's true.Dr. Laura: Right. Amoral, uncivilized people, versus moral, civilized people. We worry all the time if we're doing the right thing. The militant Islamists don't worry for a moment whether they're doing the right thing - the right thing for them is killing as many people as possible to have power. So, it is two different world views.Jay: Which would be....Dr. Laura: But Jay....you can choose...Jay: I love my country, and I love...Dr. Laura: No. Jay, JAY, Jay...I would expect more of you. You are a warrior. If people in your family are this stupid and this cruel, you cannot wear it as a blanket.Jay: I'm not trying to.Dr. Laura: Well, you said you're torn apart between them. I don't see being torn apart by ignorance.Jay: Minor...Dr. Laura: There are people who love me and love my show and love what I say. There are people who hate me, hate my show, and hate what I say.Jay: Excuse me...Dr. Laura: No, I'm not done. Now, If I woke up every morning worrying about the haters, I couldn't do my job, which I think is to un oppress people from bad ways of being, thinking, and doing.Jay: Can I ask you a question?Dr. Laura: Sure.Jay: By ignorance, do you refer to my own?Dr. Laura: I refer to your family.Jay: My family.Dr. Laura: Your family. Your own? I don't know if you're ignorant or not. Your family is. Oh, you mean you agree with them? You think you gave your leg for nothing?Jay: Not in the least.Dr. Laura: Good. Okay, well, then you're not ignorant. They are.Jay: I'd have done it again. And again. And again.Dr. Laura: Because you're a real man and a real warrior. And if your family can't appreciate that, I feel sorry for them, because my son is over there, protecting the right of your family to be ignorant. And that's what you did, and I admire you. I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger.Anybody who doesn't show absolute respect for what we're trying to do, who's using Iraq and Afghanistan and all the rest of this simply for political power, are becoming more and more like Al Qaeda and Taliban in their thinking. And that's what I watch when I see Republicans, sub-Republicans, Democrats, sub-Democrats, all of this fighting - it's only for elections and power. It isn't for what is good for the world or for America. I don't believe that for a minute! I see people saying the most God-awful things strictly for power.No intelligent, rational, reasonable, decent person is for war. No intelligent, rational, decent person is for war. But if my father and your fathers didn't go off to fight World War II, I would have been incinerated in a German concentration camp oven. So I'm very grateful to the guys who didn't believe in war, but fought it to protect the free world from vile evil. And that is exactly what's going on now. Militant Islam is vile evil. Every day, they're blowing up their own people for power. It's inhuman. And you really believe we shouldn't stop that?Should we go to Africa when one tribe tries to eliminate another? It's funny....some of the same Hollywood types who say we should go to Africa and stop one tribe from eliminating another don't seem to understand what's going on in the Middle East. But this gentleman who called, my son, your sons and daughters, your fathers, your brothers, your children, are fighting the good fight. Am I for war? Are you nuts? Who in their right mind would be? But the rest of the world doesn't necessarily show evidence of being in its right mind.When I hear pain in a soldier who then says he would go back ...do you realize this is a volunteer army, and we have guys re-enlisting to go back three, four times? Because they're over there and they see the danger, and they know that they're just watching CNN spin or the New York Times spin-they know what's going down. They're watching body parts fly all over the place as one Islamic group kills another Islamic group - men, women, and children.This is a fight for a world view. [sigh]. That's my gift to all the soldiers - my ranting and raving for five minutes. More >>

I'm Against Mandatory Cervical-Cancer Vaccine for Pre-teen Girls: It makes sense to me to require school children to have immunization to measles, chicken pox and polio, because these are highly contagious diseases readily spread in a classroom or schoolyard setting. However, mandating immunization of American school girls for HPV (human papilloma virus), transmitted sexually, as a requirement for attending public or private schools is patently outrageous and should be fought tooth and nail by every parent in America. HPV is responsible for genital warts and most cases of cervical cancer. However, this vaccine protects against only four strains of HPV that cause 70% of cervical cancer cases. That means, all women still need regular PAP smears to detect cancerous cells caused by other HPV strains.The American Cancer Society estimates that 11, 150 women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer, and 3,670 will die in the U.S. this year. That is equivalent to 0.77% of cancer diagnosed in the U.S. and 0.65% of U.S. cancer deaths each year; while almost 180,000 American women will get diagnosed with breast cancer this year and over 40,000 will die.Of the more than 25,000 patients who participated in clinical trials, only 1,184 were pre-teen girls. Certainly, that is not enough of a population to determine dosage and long term effects of the vaccine, Gardasil, on children- who notoriously respond uniquely to drugs of many kinds.Since its release last June, 82 adverse effects have been reported, ranging from nausea and fever or rashes, to fainting spells.Last and not least is the fact that this vaccine is being produced and marketed by one company only, Merck. The company has been aggressively lobbying states to make this vaccine mandatory, which will be a profit windfall for them.Eighty percent of cervical cancer cases occur in developing countries. It seems to me that bringing the vaccine to these poor cultures would be more benevolent...but less profitable.So far, the states that are considering making HPV vaccination mandatory for pre-teen girls, or have already mandated it are: California, Colorado, Connecticut, DC, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Texas, and Virginia.Make sure you opt out due to reasons of religion or conscience. If that is not possible - home school.It just appears to me that this legislation is more about Merck profits and liberal sexual politics than the well-being of our children. The government does have the obligation to intercede for the public good. Explain to me why the government protects names and infection status of HIV (a virtual epidemic in this world) infected persons from their spouses, or sex partners but imagines it is in the public interest to basically force and test nine year old children for a disease for which there is minimal risk?The answer is somewhere between politics and corporate politics.*My thanks to John Carreyrou in WSJ (February 7, 2007) for the statistical information. More >>

Cheryl Coronel, a Dr. Laura listener, requested a response on the following:' "When people call about telling someone information that they are unaware of, you always ask, 'What benefit is it to the person to know?'' When it comes to a spouse, is this the only question that one needs to ask?' If it is about the children, must you tell?' Can you please elaborate as to the 'rules.'"'''' While this is a bit difficult to answer without specific examples, I'll do my best.'''' Most people seem to think that if something is true it can or should be spoken out loud with impunity.' Well, then, "Your thighs are flabby," "Your kid is ugly," and "Your wife's boobs are microscopic - how in the heck do you ever get turned on?"'''' Some folks used the "truth" as a weapon to hurt or feel/appear superior.' I have spent many minutes in many calls trying to pull people back from that temptation.'''' You must always ask yourself, "What benefit is it to the person to know...whatever?"' There are many times I have advised people to hold back on seemingly huge information because it would be severely damaging.' For example, I have told men not to tell their children that the child is not "biologically" theirs.' A common situation is when the woman was already pregnant by a sperm-donor type guy, and the caller stepped up to the plate and married her and raised the child as his/their own.' Years later, they "worry" that the child has a right to the truth.' I tell them that this child will be severely hurt by this disclosure and that they should go to their graves with that "truth."' A sperm does not a father make - it's the man who does the job who should enjoy the title.' Telling a child that his/her dad isn't, only makes them feel disconnected from family at a time when bonding and identification is so important.'''' One argument I get constantly with this position is that the child needs to know their medical history.' Poppycock.' With full-body scanning, technologically superior blood tests and other modern medical diagnostic advances such as genetic screening, history is the least important issue in good health maintenance.''' Children also do not benefit from knowledge of all the stupid things you did as a child; they need to benefit from what you've learned from all the stupid things you did as a child.'''' Now as to the "spouse" issue, I have often told folks who had a brief out-of-marriage encounter (especially when they have children) NOT to tell their spouses IF they are truly remorseful, they take full responsibility for their actions, do their best to repair the problems, and make dedicated efforts to not repeat their actions.' While "admitting" their misbehaviors might make them feel better, it is cruel to make the spouse carry that burden, and those visions, if it can be avoided.''''' However, I always advise people to definitely tell their fianc' or boy/girl friend of dalliances; before commitment it is important information for decision-making.'''' When callers say they "saw" or "heard" some information, I tell them not to convey it unless they know it first hand as truth (versus gossip and hearsay) AND then only if it is something that person needs to know in order to protect themselves or their family.'''' I always tell folks never to tell their spouses that they've fantasized about somebody, real or on celluloid; after all, they themselves are mundane too!''''' While I have but touched the surface (and you can read more about my thoughts in my newest book, The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage ),' I believe the point is made: make sure that any information you convey is absolutely correct and always consider the ultimate consequences.' Some things just should never be said. More >>

Feminism Kills Women: Betty Friedan's negative view of so-called "women's work" created a movement that turned family life upside down and wrenched women from their homes. Turns out, women's work, is the very thing that saves women's lives! Research following 200,000 women from nine European countries for an average of over 6 years and 3,423 cases of breast cancer determined that women who exercise by doing the housework can reduce their risk of breast cancer by 30% among the pre-menopausal women and 20% among the post-menopausal women. "The International authors said their results suggested that moderate forms of physical activity, such as housework, may be more important than less frequent but more intense recreational physical activity in reducing breast cancer risk." The research is published in the journal Cancer Epidemiology Biomarkers and Prevention .The women in the Cancer Research UK-funded study spent an average of 16-17 hours a week cooking, cleaning, and doing the washing. Experts have long been touting physical exercise can reduce the risk of breast cancer, probably through hormonal and metabolic changes. What kind of exercise, though, has been debated. Most of the research to date has examined the link between exercise and breast cancer in post-menopausal women only. This latest study looked at both pre- and post-menopausal women and a range of activities, including work (right now, only my fingers are getting a work-out), leisure (hitting the C button with my thumb to change channels is obviously a step down), and housework (I actually like folding clothes). "All forms of physical activity combined reduced the breast cancer risk in post-menopausal women, but had no obvious effect in pre-menopausal women. Of all the activities, ONLY HOUSEWORK SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCED THE RISK OF BOTH PRE- AND POST-MENOPAUSAL WOMEN GETTING BREAST CANCER."Don't hold your breath to find this information on Lifetime Channel for Women, "Oxygen," "The View," college and university women's studies programs, "Cosmo", or any other of the women's magazines out there. Excuse me while I go vacuum. Cindy Sheehan: Cindy Sheehan's son, Casey, was killed in Iraq in 2004 at the age of twenty-four. Brought up by his ultra-liberal mother did not keep him from re-enlisting for a second tour to fight for his country. Picture that against the unbelievable photos published around the world of his mother hugging Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, who, by the way, "has said he will not renew the license for the country's second largest TV channel. Radio Caracas Television, which is aligned with the opposition, supported a strike against Mr. Chavez in 2003." (BBC News, December 29, 2006). Rocky #?: I stopped going to Rocky movies after the second. I loved the first; finding it tender, motivational, exciting, touching, and dramatic. I really didn't want to go to see the current Rocky film. I figured it was a silly attempt to get some mileage out of a franchise that needed to be put to rest. I was seriously wrong. "Rocky Balboa" is probably one of the best films I've seen... ever. It has the sentimentality of a film like "The African Queen." Sylvester Stallone, now widowed, is living in and on his past. He runs a restaurant named after his deceased wife, Adrian. He tells the same, lame war stories of past fights to all the patrons and sits for hours in front of his wife's grave. His son is weak, insecure and bitter, feeling like his life is nothing because he lives under his dad's shadow. Stallone looks and feels like well, crap. And this is what makes this movie so special.Rocky has something to learn and something to say. I don't want to ruin it for you, so just trust me and go see it. More >>

Match.com, and its association with Dr. Phil McGraw (who has signed up to place his imprimatur on the prospective "matches") has been advertised all over the television dial. The founder of Match.com, Gary Kremen, chief executive of Grant Media LLC, made the dot.com deal of the century. His sale of Sex.com to "anonymous buyers" (potentially one of the most lucrative sites on the Web because of its provocative name) for $12 million in cash and stock ranks as one of the most expensive Web domain name transfers ever!According to CNN, "The new owners said in the statement that they plan to transform Sex.com in 'the market-leading adult entertainment destination,' which they said would include 'adult dating opportunities,' sex and relationship advice, erotica, video-on-demand and live chat."The site makes money selling banner ads pointing to online pornography sites and Kremen will be staying aboard as an "adviser" to the site.Here you have it, the ultimate goal of the 1960's sexual revolution: sex without loving commitments, obligations, complications; pure sex for recreation. There is no differentiation between the sacred and the profane with respect to sexuality any more. Not only has the internet eliminated the notion of "adult bookstores and entertainment" being way off the main street, check your local University course handbook and you'll find courses in perversions and pornography presented in as positive a perspective as anti-United States politics!The American Psychological Society has published articles which explain that sexual relations between adult men and minor boys is largely a positive issue for the children involved - stating that the only real negatives come from oppressed members of Western Society. Planned Parenthood evidently has a policy of not reporting the molestation of minor females who come in for abortions when the sperm-donor is an adult male.Many school systems around the country will take children out of school for abortions and birth-control without parental knowledge or permission.Family groceries in almost every town in America, as well as sundries kiosks at airports, will place so-called mainstream magazines with blatantly erotic photos and tag-lines on their covers, at the check-out stands or magazine racks in clear view of children.Our public schools indoctrinate children on "owning their own sexuality" (when they can't legally own anything else) with sex-ed statements like, "You will know when you're ready for sex." Yet, if a child comes to public school with a bible in hand, that student will be descended upon as though they came in with a weapon of mass destruction.It's one thing when we can no longer count on our institutions to shore up basic values and morals about sexuality - in fact, they've largely become the enemy - but we can't even count on our neighbors! I remember when I would chide a caller about being over-protective and not allowing their child to go to a sleep-over. No more. I now chide callers when they don't pick their kids up at the end of the evening. With the virtual collapse of common sense and common values, children are at risk even at the homes of their friends. Sadly, there are a lot of parents who believe co-ed sleep-overs are cute and harmless and that supervision is unnecessary because "kids will do what they're going to do and it is better that they do it with a warm roof over their heads." Television has transformed American culture, normalizing casual sexual behavior with shows such as "Friends," where there was mix-'n-match sex as just everyday humorous entertainment, Howard Stern's disgusting, sophomoric antics with pathetic bimbos, so-called "reality" shows pushing limits, and the attention grabbing vulgarity on cable TV channels. It is stunning that even the "nicest" hotels have XXX rated channel options.Am I just an uptight, neurotic prude (oh, I've been called even worse!), or is this really injurious to human beings? To answer that, I - a nice little Jewish mother - will turn to the new Pope (Benedict XVI). In his first pastoral letter to the church on the nature of God and love in charity and relationships (January, 2006) he called for "expressing erotic love through committed, unconditional love relationships." According to press reports, Benedict warned that sex without unconditional love risked turning men and women into merchandise. "Eros, reduced to pure 'sex,' has become a commodity, a mere 'thing' to be bought and sold...Here we are actually dealing with a debasement of the human body: no longer is it integrated into our overall existential freedom; no longer is it a vital expression of our whole being, but it is more or less relegated to the purely biological sphere."Need proof he's right? KDWB-101.2 in Minneapolis, according to one of my listeners, had a reporter doing a story about teens who now have "friends with benefits," meaning: having sex without commitment. My listener wrote: "My mouth was open during the entire drive to work. Girls and boys as young as 13 were admitting to either knowing someone, or being a part of this 'phenomenon.' But what really got my dander up was an 18 yr. old senior in high school who proudly stated that he's part of a group of five girls, five boys who REGULARLY engage in sexual intercourse with one another (at least 3 times a week). When asked if this has caused any problems amongst the young women, he stated, 'No, these girls can't get enough.' We don't even bother to close the doors.'"In a fantastic op-ed piece in the Santa Maria Times (1/22/06), Barbara Murphy wrote, "Too many of today's young women have been hoodwinked by our culture, leaving a lot of broken-hearted, unhappy singles. Confused by the semantics of women's rights, they gave away their bodies to the men who used them....Are young men really any better off? Jaded by endless sexual encounters that meant nothing, many young men are left empty and frustrated. Saturated by the over-indulgence of the icing on the cake, they seek more and more sugar, while never tasting the cake."All of us, men and women alike, want to know real love. Lust is a poor substitute. Using others is the opposite of loving them."Many of my listeners echo those sentiments - others are distraught and somewhat destroyed by the empty promises of casual sex. Our pervasive culture of casual sex results in masturbation by proxy, that is, an impersonal, biological release, with no human to human real connection of caring and compassion.Sheryl, a listener, wrote that she was "Saved From a Delusional Culture." "Thank you, DrL, for being a model of common sense in a society in which many people think that they should be able to shuffle through life with no responsibilities towards other people. I am the product of a generation raised after the so-called sexual revolution, and I resent many of the ideas that resulted from that era. I resent that the public school system and popular culture tried to turn me away from my parents' tradition values and beliefs. They tried to 'liberate' me from the 'oppressive' life that my parents were advocating. Yet, during my years at a very liberal university (aren't they all?) I began to realize that the public schools are are Emperors of Brainwashing. I first began to realize this while watching some of my 'liberate' college friends go through a string of sexual relationships, never satisfied, often whining and bitter."Living by my parents' tradition values, I became a STD-free, non-bitter, real woman. I am fulfilled by real love, not mere sexual desire positing as love. Real love endures in the mind even when emotions waver. My traditional man is very sexy. No oppression or repression here. Any Hugh Hefner-types who think that they have a better life than my tradition family are delusional!" From the male side, I received this email from Ken: "My wife has asked on more than one occasion if I would like to have multiple partners? I do not equate sex and love. Love may involve sex, but they are not interchangeable. She equates her worth in terms of sex appeal. I did not marry her because she was great in bed or a 10."While males and females are physiologically and temperamentally quite different creatures; women into nesting, bonding and nurturing, and men into conquest, providing, and protecting, they are quite similar spiritually. Both men and women have a strong need to have their lives be purposeful and to have real love in their lives. There is hardly anything in our culture left which extols, supports, guides and celebrates that truth. A 2003 study by the Heritage foundation linked early sexual activity with a higher suicide rate. The study reported that about 14 percent of girls aged 14 to 17 who have had intercourse have attempted suicide; 5 percent of sexually inactive girls have. Why is this kind of fact on the lips of every sex-ed teacher and overly indulgent parent? Instead, I hear from a math teacher at UNLV: "This morning, in a Math for Elementary Teachers class, a student came in wearing a t-shirt with the bold-print message "It's not what you do, but who." I asked the female student about it and she explained that it was a shirt made especially for members of her sorority and the fraternity they partnered with for homecoming activities. It makes one wonder how much it might guide the conversation when a guy and a girl wearing such shirts find themselves together."Sex as a commodity. A woman as a commodity. A fetus as a disposable commodity. Marriage as an unnecessary commodity. Spiritual depth to interpersonal behavior an irrelevant commodity. Modesty from women, honor from men are archaic commodities.The meaning of life? Simple: it's what you feel at any one moment.How did this begin? Science has its place although scientists are known for eschewing any responsibility for the use of their research discoveries. I think it obviously starts with birth-control. While the pill was a useful tool for family planning for married couples, it separated sex from love, marriage, and parenting. The legalization of abortion, outside of saving the life of the mother, provided yet another separation between sex and higher obligations with an extremely casual attitude of women towards the miracle of new life (and I'm still waiting for Planned Parenthood to have in-house adoption services). Between the sexual liberation of women, and the birth control/abortion opportunities, young men have been separated from any sense of honor, commitment and responsibility towards women and are more cavalier about using women for sex than ever. No one faults a man from walking away from the fruits of his fling. The children pay a huge price, but there is always some hack psychologist or psychological organization which will minimize the "negatives" on children. People, they say, must be free to make their own choices...no matter who they hurt: children, each other, or themselves!Well, I'm here to tell you that this experiment has failed. Nobody, except the perverts, pedophiles, narcissists and sadists are happy with sex becoming a commodity. More >>