When a woman wishes to diminish her own value (as well as that of the covenant of marriage) by cohabitating with a man who is not willing to make the vow of committing his life to her, it's a shame.' When a woman with
does so, it too often becomes a crime.Thirty years ago, nearly 80% of America's children lived with both their Mommy and Daddy, who were married.' Now, only two-thirds of them do.' Of all families with children, nearly 30% are now one-parent families, up from 17% in 1977.' The net result is instability, neglect, and the likelihood that children will be in homes with adults who have no biological tie to them.Children living in homes with unrelated adults are nearly
as likely to die of inflicted injuries as are children living with their bio-parents. (
Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, 2005
).' Children of single parents had a 77% greater risk of being harmed by physical abuse than children living with both parents (
National Incidence Study, 1996
). Children living in stepfamilies, or with single parents are at higher risk of physical or sexual assault than children living with their bio-parents (
University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center
). Girls whose parents divorce are at significantly higher risk of sexual assault, regardless of which bio-parent they live with (
Family Law, Washington and Lee University
).It is righteous to judge the lifestyles of people who have children, because the results of their choices can result in harm (psychological, physical or sexual), as well as death to innocent children.' "Six year old Oscar Jimenez, Jr. was beaten to death in California, then buried under fertilizer and cement.' Two year old Devon Shackleford drowned in an Arizona swimming pool.' Jayden Cangro, also two, died after being thrown across a room in Utah.' In each case, as in many others every year, the alleged or convicted perpetrator had been the boyfriend of the child's mother. (
Associated Press, November 18, 2007
).The recent "Baby Grace" case was no different.' According to news reports, the mother's boyfriend beat the child to death because the child didn't address him politely.'I am firm in my beliefs and advice that young women, pregnant out-of-wedlock, need to consider adoption as in the best interest of the child, and that divorced parents should not marry again until the children are grown (and if they do, they shouldn't marry someone with children or create more children, because they will be sidelining their own children).Of course, I get everything from "antsy" to angry feedback for these recommendations, as adults feel entitled to their happiness, freedom, and sexual adventures.' My point of view is that the children's needs should eclipse the privileges of adult desires.A week ago, a 29 year old female caller to my radio program, with two small children from her first marriage, was now divorcing her second husband.' Two divorces before the age of 30!' Her question was should she let the new "ex-to-be" see the kids?' How about this for a life?' Each weekend, you alternate between different "daddies."I suggested she not date again until the children graduated high school.
|Tags: Children, Family/Relationships - Children, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Shacking Up, Shacking-Up, Values
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS
I read the following email from Tina on the air the other day, but it's such a good story, particularly during this week following
, that I wanted to share it in this forum as well:
I have to tell you about a recent shopping experience I had at the local Wal-Mart.' My family and I live in northern New York, just 15 minutes from Fort Drum.' This area is extremely "pro-military," and we like it, even though I can do away with the miserable winters.
Driving to the store, I always pass through the base, and I saw all the "Welcome Home" banners hanging on the fence, meaning that a bunch of soldiers had just come home from Iraq.' When we got in the store, I couldn't help but notice soldiers who were shopping - the look on their faces was priceless!' These guys were happy to be shopping, happy to be alive, and happy to be home to family, friends, and community who are aware of their sacrifice and heroism.
My six year old son was sort of oblivious to all of those dressed in fatigues until we reached the Lego aisle, and he saw a couple of soldiers in his favorite section.' He said, "Look, Mommy - some good guys!!"' "Yes, I see," I told him.' Then he asked the soldiers:' "Did you get the bad guys?"' "Yes, young man, we sure did," they assured him.
My son was especially excited that the good guys liked Legos, too!
|Tags: Family/Relationships - Children, husband, Marriage, Military, Parenting, Social Issues, War
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS
As we head into Thanksgiving, and the beginning of the biggest shopping season of the year, it's time to take a stand regarding the kind of toys we buy our kids.' Case in point:1. Mattell, Inc. recalled 675,000
toys because the paint on the surface of the accessories contained excessive levels of lead.' Lead can cause learning and behavior problems and even death.2. The Consumer Product Safety Commission recalled roughly 4 million arts and crafts toys called
because several children in the United States and Australia were hospitalized after swallowing some of the toy's beads.' The beads had a chemical coating that evidently was related to GHB, the "date rape" drug.3. An additional 175,000
plush dolls made by Marvel Toys were recalled because of lead on the toys' plastic faces.This past summer, the toy industry recalled more than 22 million toys because of serious danger issues.' The common denominator seems to be that all these toys are made in China.' China is the world's number one producer of toys, due to cheap labor and manufacturing costs.' While the world's governments lazily deal with tougher controls to intercept dangerous toys before they hurt our children, how about we parents taking control and only purchasing toys made in the U.S.A. this holiday season?' We should be supporting our own economy anyway.If you don't know how to find toys made in the USA, here's a start - a parent single-handedly took up the charge and created a website that links to USA-made toys.
.If you want detailed information on toys that have been recalled by the US Consumer Product Safety Commission, you can find a list of all the latest recalls at
|Tags: Family/Relationships - Children, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Politics, Social Issues, Values
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS
I got this eloquent email recently, and wanted to share it with all of you, as it addresses the consequences of some behaviors that often come up from callers to my radio show:"Two months ago, I left my wife and children and moved into a condo about a mile from our home.' This morning, I was moved to write the following, just to help
vent my frustration over the treatment from my wife that led to this painful and damaging decision, called "For Years:"
For years, you behaved as if it didn't matter whether I came or went, so I went.
For years, you were unsatisfied with the income I brought in, even though it was way more than enough to allow you to stay home with the children. Now you have less, and you get to go to work.
For years, you behaved as if my touch meant nothing to you. Now, it's gone.
For years, you never complimented me on the household repairs I made, keeping up the lawn and garden, cleaning and organizing the garage and the hundreds of things I did to keep our home balanced and running. Now, you can do them.
For years, you complained I didn't do enough housework.' Now it's all yours.
For years, you chose not to attend community and social events that were important to me.' Now they're not an option.
For years, you expected me to read your mind when you were hurt or upset.' Never could, never will.
For years, you punished me with your silence.' Now you have plenty.
For years, you would not share information about our kids' schedules, doctor's appointments and so on.' Now some attorneys will help you polish your communication skills.
For years, I chose to love you, protect you, provide for you, confide in you, and have fun with you.' Now, I don't.
For years, you behaved as a long-suffering martyr.' Now you can be one.
For years, I chose to raise
son as my own.' Now, he's hurting.
For years, you treated me as the lesser parent.' Now I am.
For years, our precious young daughter has watched this debacle. What do you think she's learned?
P.S.' I bought and read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" months ago, and asked my wife to read it with me.' She laughed."(Signed)Still My Kids' Dadin Southern California
|Tags: Children, Marriage, Parenting
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS
Forgive my rage, but a lawsuit is the most gentle response I can think of for what I'd like to have happen to the members and leaders of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas.'These pseudo-pious creeps traverse America showing up at the funerals of our fallen military carrying signs that read 'Thank God for dead soldiers' sent to fight for the 'United States of Sodomy.'' They believe that the death of US servicemen and women in Iraq is God's punishment for this country's 'tolerance of homosexuality.'' Townsfolk from across the land, local police and firefighters, Patriot Guard bikers and others have shown up each time to try to build a compassionate barrier between these vulgar desecrators and the mourning family and friends.'These religious types defend their hateful and ugly behavior by protesting that 'it is in response to the need for a warning to the country that 'your wicked ways are going to be your doom shortly.''' Church members say they're motivated by the fear of God and their need to warn America about its moral decay, rather than a desire to hurt anybody.' Oh, please.'Of course the issue of free speech (forget responsible or compassionate speech) is at the fore.' Last week, a jury ordered the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church and his two daughters to pay $10.9 million to the family of a Marine who died in Iraq, after members of the church picketed his funeral holding signs including 'God hates fags,' and 'You're going to hell.''This decision, which is being appealed, is likely to become an important test for what kind of speech is protected by the US Constitution.' In addition to the issue of whether or not the Church's hateful speech was protected, the appeal will also turn on whether Judge Richard Bennett's instructions to the jury on the First Amendment were too broad.' Bennett warned jurors that the protection of free speech has limits, including vulgar, offensive, and shocking statements and that the jury had to decide whether Westboro's actions would be highly offensive to a 'reasonable person,' and whether these actions were so offensive and shocking as to not be entitled to First Amendment protection.'Sounds like a slam dunk to any reasonable person, and the jury obviously agreed.' Our fallen heroes deserve our respect, especially at their funerals, which is something we should all remember this Veterans' Day holiday.
|Tags: Military, Social Issues, Values, Veterans
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS
This is a "huzzah" to a bunch of Democrats for doing the right thing, and we have to join them.'A group of Congressmen has asked the Department of Veterans' Affairs to reconsider its obnoxious, disgusting, and horrible ban on the flag-folding ceremony at military funerals, after the agency decided last month to "streamline" burials at Federal cemeteries.' It gets worse.However, the attempt to jerk their heads around in the right direction is being led by Representative Heath Shuler (D-NC).' He wrote a letter to the head of the Department of Veterans' Affairs which said:
Dear Acting Secretary Mansfield:
We are writing to express our concern regarding recently announced policies banning the traditional flag-folding recitations by Memorial Honor Detail volunteers.
The flag-folding recitation is a long-standing tradition which brings comfort to the living and honor to the deceased.' The recitations accompanying each fold pay tribute to the service and sacrifice of our veterans and their families, the nation they proudly serve, and the belief that they hold dear.
As our nation loses 1,500 World War II veterans every day, we feel that it is vital to insure that the final rites for these American heroes will be permitted to include the freedoms of speech and religious expression enshrined in our Constitution, and defended by their service.
We ask that you please reconsider the policy and allow the Memorial Honor Detail volunteers to perform the traditional flag-folding recitation if requested by the family of the deceased...
Now this letter was co-signed, and I want to give kudos to the representatives who co-signed it, and they're all Democrats.' Ask me where the Republicans are on this.' I don't know - maybe nobody called them up.' But it's co-signed by Representative Chris Carney (D-PA), Brad Ellsworth (D-IN)...and these are all great guys for doing this...Baron Hill (D-IN), Tim Holden (D-PA), Nick Lampson (D-TX), Jim Marshall (D-GA), Jim Matheson (D-UT), Mick McIntyre (D-NC), Mike Ross (D-AR), Gene Taylor (D-MS), and John Tanner (D-TN).Now I want to give you the second part of the problem, and it's so obnoxious, that it's hard for me to even write.' By the way, there's nothing in the Constitution that bans religion.' Our Constitution disallows the state to have a religion that we all have to follow, but it doesn't ban religion.' That is so abused by the atheists trying to take God out of everything, that I'm tired of it, and we have to fight back.' This is the moment to fight back, and I'll give you the address on how to do it.A complaint -
one, lousy complaint....one!
- made this happen.' The complaint about the recitation for the 11th fold, which says
"in the eyes of a Hebrew citizen, represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon, and glorifies, in their eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob"
garnered a complaint at the California cemetery and prompted the ban.' One lousy comment!By the way, the 12th fold recitation is geared to Christians, saying
"the fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies in their eyes God the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost."
It's just terrible...just terrible, as one World War II Navy veteran, Bobby Castillo, 85, said:'' "It's a slap in the face to every veteran.' When we got back from the war, we didn't ask for a whole lot.' We just want to give our veterans the respect they deserve.' No one has ever complained about us.' I just don't understand."'' He is part of a 16-member detail that has performed military honors at more than 1,400 services.' They were preparing to read the flag-folding remarks at the Riverside (CA) cemetery when graveyard staff stopped them.'Charlie Waters, parliamentarian for the American Legion of California said he's advising Memorial Honor Details to ignore the edict.' "This is nuts," Walter said.' "There are 26 million veterans in this country and they're not going to take us all to prison."So, I'm very grateful to Representative Heath Shuler (D-NC), and I think we have to join in turning this around.' This is disgusting.' You take a tradition that's been going on for so long, and because
person doesn't want to hear "God," it stops?' No.' Let's turn this around.' Turn this completely around, and this is how you're going to do it.'You have to be polite, so send your letters to:The Honorable Gordon H. MansfieldActing Secretary of Veterans Affairs810 Vermont Avenue, N.W.Washington, DC' 20420Phone: 202-273-4817Email:
Send a letter, make a phone call, and send an email.' I want this man inundated.' I want millions of you to do this, to counteract
person who thinks they can rip God out of the universe, when our Constitution does not demand that.All of this information is on my website
.' I am unbelievably grateful to these dozen Democrats who stood up to the plate immediately.' "Hoo-ah" to all of them!UPDATEWe spoke to Congressman Shuler's office and they're still going forward with legislation to rescind this order.' While the "clarification" from the Department of Veterans Affairs only covers volunteer honor guards, many of the cemeteries have Federal employees performing the flag-folding.'In addition, we heard from a soldier currently serving on a state Honor Guard, who told us that they often work in co-operation with local Veterans Service Organizations' honor guards.' The Veterans Service Organizations not only donate their time, but they have to maintain their uniforms, pay for gas to get to the funerals, pay for blank ammunition and weapon servicing.' They're supposed to be paid a small amount for their services, but while Congress has authorized the program to do this, they haven't actually funded it.' We need to do a lot more to honor our veterans, both living and deceased.
|Tags: Feminism, Military, Social Issues, Values, Veterans
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS
Like most people in this country, I have been glued to the television coverage of the fires raging through San Diego, Orange County, Los Angeles, etc.' Unlike many of you, I just need to look out my kitchen window to see and smell the eerie smoky brown sky that hangs over my neighborhood.' From this vantage point I can understand the fear and shock that is consuming the millions who are experiencing up close and very personally the ravages of Mother Nature.''''''' Much of the California coastline is burning.' Almost one million people have been evacuated and over one thousand homes and some communities have been burned to the ground.' An unknown number of people have died and scores have been injured; mostly firefighters.''''''People are living out of their cars, in the homes of friends, relatives or gracious strangers; hotels are crammed, and thousands are in stadiums.' What is remarkable about this disaster is how well San Diego has handled this.' The local government got right into gear with evacuations, physical support and fire-fighting; the people, although devastated, have been cooperative, positive, virtually non-complaining, non-violent, and mutually supportive.' Charitable and supportive donations from people far and wide have been administered successfully.' No hysteria, blaming, or violence.' Listening to the stories of gratitude in the midst of hardship has been inspiring.'''' 'Nonetheless, it is important to consider the longer term emotional and psychological issues resulting from this disaster, the largest in California's history.' My family survived a house-fire in the early '90's.' A faulty electrical connection in a socket sent a spark across the room onto a bed and in mere seconds the entire room was ablaze.' I tried to put the fire out and realized that the fumes and smoke were even more dangerous.' I called the Fire Department immediately, grabbed my wallet and my son and left the house.' Between the flames and the efforts of the Fire Department, our house was totaled but without damage to our neighbors.'''' 'We lost just about everything.' Our first reaction was shock.' It was difficult to absorb being in a home one moment, and standing in front of a burning building in the next.'''' 'For the most part, the people involved in the California fires have whole neighborhoods that are gone and don't seem to have the option of "continuing with life."' Their stresses, grief, and fears will need to be addressed.' Most people are ultimately quite resilient, and after months of reasonable, normal hyper-emotional reactions, get back into life without long-lasting impact.'''' 'Children are more vulnerable to these disasters and special attention needs to be paid to their well-being.' The more up-front and personal the exposure to the disaster, the greater the post-disaster impact will be.' The loss of a home and destruction of a community are obviously high-distress events leading to grief and trauma.'''' 'Children under the age of 2 have little real understanding of what has happened and don't have life experiences to tap into to give them a sense of immediate or future safety.' They pretty much are experiencing sensory overload as the sights, sounds, smells stay imprinted in their young minds and may be activated in the future.' Also, children of this age are not equipped to discuss their fears.' It is very important that small children not be separated from their parents during these disasters.' The parents are the ultimate security and measure by which they will react; if parents stay calm, children feel more reassured.'''' 'Children up to age five may start regressing in their behavior because of their confusion and fear.' They may have nightmares, stop eating and sleeping, and report stomach aches which are really a sign of distress.'''' 'To assist young children:1.' Give verbal reassurance and physical comfort2.' Try to keep eating and sleeping routines intact3.' Avoid being separated from them because of the comfort they need from' you and because they fear abandonment.4.' Let them talk and talk and talk and talk about what they feel, especially'about losing pets, their toys, etc.5. Try to minimize their exposure to images of fires on television and any other' disturbing input.6. Get them playing -- this will be good for them and for you!''' 'School age children can become obsessed with their fears over these events.' This would be a good time for you not to be so concerned with your expectations of proper behavior and performance in school (if they have access) and with you.' However, while it is important for you to let them talk again and again about the disaster and their opinions and feelings, you should also set some gentle limits on "acting-out" behaviors of anger, and so forth.' It might be good to say something like, "You know, it is quite reasonable for all of us to be angry or feeling kind of crazy over what's happened.' Let's keep 'showing it' to five minutes each hour or so, then the rest of the time we can make plans, take a walk, figure out meals, play a game, sing a song, help somebody else..."'''' 'Allow school-aged children to participate in actions geared to "take care of immediate business."' That way they have a sense of power in a seemingly powerless situation and feel useful - which is a positive and rewarding experience.'''' 'Some children may be slow to show distress, taking weeks or months for signs or symptoms of their distress to appear.' Don't push for "feelings" to be expressed; instead, be watchful of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) depression: persistent sad or irritable mood, loss of interest in activities once enjoyed,' a significant change in appetite or body weight, difficulty sleeping or oversleeping, loss of energy, feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt, difficulty concentration and/or recurrent thoughts of death or suicide.'''' 'Five or more of these symptoms over several weeks may indicate a need for professional intervention.'''' 'Remember, supportive parents, friends, family members, teachers, and other adults make all the difference in the ability of children to cope with disaster.'''' 'For more information, click on: "
Helping Children Handle Disaster-Related Anxiety - National Mental Health Association
"To hear Dr. Laura in an on-air interview with KFI-AM regarding this issue,
|Tags: Children, Family/Relationships - Children, Military, Parenting, Social Issues, Values
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS
I was thrilled when the good folks at WTAR AM in Norfolk, Virginia invited me to join their annual Talkfest and chose my favorite charity, Operation Family Fund, to be the recipient of all the fundraising events.' Well, I am reminded of that expression, "Be careful what you ask for because you might get it!"''''' I spent the better part of the last week flying to Norfolk, flying around Norfolk and flying back from Norfolk.' This weekend I felt I was a whirling dervish, swept up in a crush of activities to raise awareness and funds for Operation Family Fund.' For those of you who haven't listened to my radio show in the last 4 years, OFF (
)is a non-profit which gives 100% of every dollar donated to the families of our fallen or severely injured military heroes who served in the War Against Terror.''''''And in the midst of the packed schedule, I broadcast my radio program from
Radio studios (owned by
).' I can't say enough about how professional and cuddly everyone was.' It is tough to do three intense and intimate hours of radio outside of my "nest," so it is very important that the environment be cozy.'''' 'Friday morning I was on a tour of the
USS Dwight D. Eisenhower
and enjoyed lunch with Commanding Officer, Capt. Dan Cloyd and' Rear Admiral Phil Cullom.'' When we were on the bridge, everyone expected me to make a bee-line for the Captain's chair - but NO - I went straight for the steering wheel!' Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the steering wheel on a huge aircraft carrier is about the same size as the one in my SUV!' It goes to show you that small things can steer large objects.''''' That evening, several hundred people came to the "Help, Hope & Heroes" dinner at
La Galleria Ristorante
(120 College Place) in Norfolk.' Fabulous,' fabulous,' fabulous food.
were there to support the silent auction for Operation Family Fund.' I even bid on a glass putter (to be a gift for one of my colleagues) but got outbid at the last second.''''''Saturday morning, WTAR held its annual TALKFEST, and while
was on stage giving a talk, I rode in on the back of
Radio's morning co-host Dave Parker's hot motorcycle.' Sean was his usual adorable and generous self and offered $20,000.to Operation Family Fund if I took off my pink Harley Davidson jacket, signed it and then made it available to one of his audience members via a drawing.'''' 'At noon on Saturday, I went to
Hampton Roads Harley-Davidson
, hooked up with several hundred (mostly Harley) bikers, and off we went for a "Bikers for the Brave" ride. Staying in the spirit of wanting to give the shirt off my back for our brave warriors, I auctioned off my white and pink Harley helmet.' The biker folks were wonderful -- I want to tell you - if you want to be around a group of kind, fun, warm, generous and patriotic folks - get yourself a motorcycle and join just about any club in the USA.''' 'After the ride, I was off to the Convocation Center for my talk and a live auction - with brilliant auctioneer Ed Zedd raising more than $8,000; this included one of my custom necklaces (designed and constructed solely by me).'''' 'We had a color guard from the USS Eisenhower and a lovely solo performance of the Star Spangled Banner.
worked with all their people and raised almost $20,000.''''' The only sour note was when some sub-human lowlife broke into
Tony and Robin Alexander's Natural Hair Image Salon
and robbed them of almost $3,000 they had collected from customers for weeks to give to OFF.' When the local ABC TV affiliate
ran their story on the Friday evening news, hundreds of local Virginians rushed to help and have since given more than what was stolen.' And I'm sending them a check to cover the loss as well.''''' All told, the weekend raised more than $80,000 for our wounded warriors.''''' 'After my hour Q & A with the TALKFEST audience, I signed some programs and books, then slept my way 3000 miles back to my bed by 3 AM.'''' 'So I'm tired, but I'm happy that so many people took time out of their busy, busy, busy lives to help a worthy cause.' God bless our military and their families - without them we wouldn't be the land of the free.
|Tags: Charity, humor, Military, Politics, Regarding Dr. Laura, Values
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS
I had an experience recently I will not soon forget.' I had a conversation with a woman with whom I've become quite friendly who told me a fascinating story.''''She was adopted.' Although she is very close to and loving with her adoptive family, she was quite interested in knowing something about her birth mother and father - for medical history reasons (I never quite believe that, considering the technology available today for diagnoses) and for curiosity's sake.' She realized and accepted that there would probably be "the good, the bad, and the ugly" to learn, and she was right.She found her birth mother to be an unstable sort with a number of children from a number of men.' The turning point of her life was when she had her first conversation with her birth father on the phone.He cried with joy that she had contacted him.' He told her that her birth mother had planned to abort her but he paid money to her and paid for all the adopting costs to spare her life.' Shocked, she told her husband and children about this revelation, and they were all so grateful for one man's commitment to life."In listening to all my friends and family telling me what they would have missed had I never been, I completely changed my position of being so-called 'pro-choice," she told me.Suddenly there is clarity: a human being who impacts the world in some unique and meaningful way is obliterated before they have an opportunity to do their part to perfect the world.When it 's YOU' who could have been aborted, suddenly the issue of cavalierly terminating a human life gets put in a bigger perspective than one woman saying, "I just don't want
being a human being.The same day I had this conversation I received this email to my program:
"You asked a female caller today if she was pro-abortion.' THANK YOU for using that phrase.' Who do pro-abortionists think they are that they can hijack the word 'choice?'' I LOVE choices, but I'm against abortion.' You and I both know the only valid choice other than adoption comes
conception, not after.
Abortion has nothing to do with choices.' American women have all the choices in the world!: the choice to have or not have sex with a man who is not her husband, the choice to use birth control, and a million choices therein.' Why is it they claim that unless they ALSO have the choice to kill their unborn babies that they have no choice?' Huh?' American women have all the choices they need and have a right to have, regardless of whether they are also able to suck the unborn babies out of their bodies and down the drain.
I take back the word 'choice.'' I won't let the pro-abortionists have that word anymore.' I'm PRO-CHOICE.' I LOVE choices.' But I'm against abortion.' And I won't let anyone rob me of the word 'choice' so that they can use it to justify killing babies."
-- Shannon, St. Louis.
|Tags: Adoption, Parenting, Sex
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS