More >>

A Heavy Weight Decision By Patti Chadwick One of my family's New Years Resolutions is to shed some extra pounds. Actually, the resolution was made in December, but it's carried over into the New Year! Over the years I've tried and tried to encourage better eating habits and planning healthy meals for my tribe, but with the busyness of life it seems for every three steps forward we make, we take two steps back. Besides myself and my darling husband, I have two children who struggle with their weight. My eldest boy, however, is a lean-mean-eating machine who eats anything he wants, whenever he wants and somehow never seems to gain weight. Needless to say, the rest of us are not fond of this boy. I guess we are just jealous! I have mixed feelings about teenagers dieting, but I also know what it's like to struggle with your weight. Since my weight was bothering me, and my two children were struggling losing a quite few extra pounds, we decided to take the plunge and get some professional help. We chose to go to LA Weight Loss and so far it's been a very good experience. The counselors were really wonderful and set us up with an individual eating program. We need to keep a food diary and go into the Center three times a week to weigh in and talk to a counselor about how we are doing. This may seem like a lot, but it helps to keep us on track. And while we've had to give up some beloved food items, the eating plan leaves room for some of our favorite dishes. This plan is do-able. Since December, each of us has lost about 13 pounds. That's no small feat for my youngest boy and I. My daughter is at a good weight now, but of course she still think she has to lose about 10 more pounds! Junior is starting to feel pretty good about himself and I feel a lot better physically. This whole experience has been more of a lifestyle change than a diet. We understand that we can never go back to eating the way we used to, even after reaching our goal weight. Improving our eating habits has become a "family thing". I've changed the way I grocery shop and the way I cook. That in itself will promote better health in our family. Even for the skinny our "skinny" one. I will keep you posted on our progress. Remember, losing weight is a personal decision for each of us. If your teen really struggles, try to find a way to help. The old saying, "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" is so true. Now is the time to make some lifestyle changes that will benefit your teen for the rest of their life. Patricia Chadwick is a freelance writer and columnist in several online publications. E-mail her at patti@parentsandteens.com or visit her websites and sign up for her FREE weekly newsletters at www.historyswomen.com www.parentsandteens.com . Patti is also the author of "History's Women - The Unsung Heroines". Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Mom's Resolutions By Cheryl Gochnauer The beginning of a new year is a natural time to muse over fresh ideas andcommitments, and the homefront is a perfect place to start. For 2002, I'mresolving to take conscious steps to improve my relationship with my kids,my spouse, and myself. KIDS, I HEREBY RESOLVE TO... Catch your eye with a smile and a wink; to prove I love you everyday. Notice good stuff on your report card first, bad stuff second, and grade itall in perspective. Be affectionate with Daddy in your presence so you can learn how to treatyour own mate someday. I'll not hide minor disagreements, but will avoidbeing petty so you can learn how to work through conflict while maintaininganother person's dignity. Encourage you to spend time with your sibling, even if there is a gap inyour ages. We'll discover activities you can enjoy together, and I'll treatyou in such a manner that you'll realize you're both my favorite child. Resist trying to fix all your problems. Instead, I'll give insight onpossible actions you might take by asking you questions you can answeryourself. Treat you so you never doubt my love for you, even when I am discipliningyou. I will speak well of you in public, and never intentionally humiliateyou. Praise but not flatter you, and thereby build in you a fair sense of yourabilities. We'll work together to temper any perceived weaknesses, andpursue your known strengths so that, this time next year, you'll be thatmuch more rooted as you look toward future plans. FOR MY SPOUSE, I RESOLVE TO... Make time to freshen up, both physically and mentally, a half an hour beforewe get together after work each day. If that means putting on makeup in thecar, I'll do it! Monitor your nonverbal signals and avoid being "chatty" if you're not. I'lllet you finish your story of what happened at work, without interruptingwith my own day's crisis. Resist asking you to fix anything until after dessert. Unless it's leaking.Or smoking. Spend an evening each week talking alone with you, whether away from home orrelaxing while the kids are out at an activity or with a sitter. I'll alsoencourage you to carve out occasional getaways with each of our children,where they can have you all to themselves. Encourage you to develop close friendships with other men who share yourmoral values and treasure their families. Tell you everyday that I love you, and prove it in action and in word. Remember you'll be here long after the kids are gone, so our relationship isthe most important one under this roof. AND TO MYSELF, I HEREBY RESOLVE TO... Do what I can, and guiltlessly let the rest wait. I'll try to be content inwhatever circumstances I happen to be. Strive to be the best thing that happened in someone's life today. Keep everything in perspective and not over-react. Unless it's leaking. Orsmoking. Accept the love of family and friends, and reflect it right back. Plant happy memories in my children's thoughts, and water them daily withencouragement and humor. (Comments? Email Cheryl@homebodies.org or visit her parenting website at http://www.homebodies.org . Copyright 2000 Cheryl Gochnauer.) Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

Shopping Seasonal Sales Raising teenagers can be very expensive. There are a lot of added expenses as your children grow up. Clothes are more expensive, there are added fees for extra-curricular activities, not to mention the socialevents that are a "must" for many teens. As frugal parents of teens, we need to learn to save money in different areas that will compensate for the extra money we will need to spend during the teenage years. One of the easiest ways to save money on many every day items is by shopping seasonal sales. You can save hundreds of dollars every year by planning your spending to take advantage of the rhythmic pattern of buying and selling. It is just as important to know when to buy as it isto know how and where. I suggest you get your teens involved in your seasonal shopping. Learning this skill will help them learn to live frugally as they move into adulthood. While local marketing conditions and each store's unique situation are reliable indicators of the frequency, time, and type of sales, and the amount of price reductions, the following sale calendar can help you get the most for your dollar when making purchases. January After-Christmas sales of Christmas merchandise, winter clothes, clothing, shoes, fur, handbags, toiletries, tablecloths, costume jewelry, furniture, toys, dishes, sports equipment, appliances. This is also the month that most stores feature a "White Sale", which includes most bedding such as sheets, pillowcases, blankets, and quilts. February Furniture, rugs, mattresses, curtains, bedding, china, glassware, silverware, housewares, radios and C.D. players, stereo equipment , and used cars. March Garden supplies, luggage, spring clothing, infant's wear, shoes, laundry appliances, luggage, skates, ski equipment, storm windows. April After-Easter sales for mostly clothes items including, men's and boy's suits, women's and children's coats, housecoats, and women's hats. May White sales, clean-up/fix-up supplies, blankets, women's undergarments, TV sets, handbags, sportswear, tires. June Women's ready-to-wear, TV sets, refrigerators, fabrics, summer clothes, dresses, building materials, lumber. July Shoes, summer clothes, bathing suits, lingerie, sportswear, home appliances, air conditioners, fuel oil, radios and stereo equipment, rugsand carpet, summer sports equipment, used cars. August Furniture, white sales, camping equipment, housewares, lamps, coats, tires, lawn mowers, sprinklers, yard tools, barbecue sets and tools, air conditioners, new cars, paints, school supplies, school clothes, bathing suits, fans. September Back-to-school supplies, housewares, bicycles, car batteries and mufflers, children's clothing, dishes, gardening equipment, glassware, hardware, lamps, paints, rugs and carpet, tools. October Fishing equipment, glassware, hosiery, housecoats, school clothes, school supplies, silverware, cars. November Coats, pre-Christmas items, quilts, shoes, boots, men's and boy's suits,kitchen appliances, water heaters. December Toys, gift items, coats, shoes, party items, quilts, used cars. The day after Christmas is Bargain Day all over. This excerpt was taken from the book: MISSION POSSIBLE: RAISING GREAT TEENS! By Patti Chadwick. It comes in three formats: ebook ($5.95),CD ($9.95), and print ($14.95). To place an order visit: https://www.wmsecure.com/%7Ehistoryg/securebookform.html Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

Christmas Eve Checklist By Cheryl Gochnauer Are you ready for Christmas? It's time to make our list and check it twice,so we don't forget anything: Condensed or Evaporated? Make sure you've got the right ingredients forthat special holiday baked treat. Dick Carnal, an IGA Super Center manager,notes Christmas Eve is one of the year's busiest grocery shopping days."Everybody seems to wait until the last minute." If you're missingsomething, get to the store before dusk, since IGA and most other storeswill close at 6:00 p.m. Let Mom Enjoy Christmas Morning, Too. Plan a simple breakfast of pastries,fresh fruit and juices, served on festive disposable plates and indecorative cups. No cooking; no dishes. Poised for Pictures. Check your supply of batteries and film. Charge thecamcorder battery; make sure you have plenty of videotape. Speaking ofvideos, take a few minutes now to set your VCR to record several favoriteholiday shows airing between now and the 24th. You can enjoy them Christmasnight and throughout the rest of the holiday break, when things have wounddown a bit. Gather Your Packages. If you're heading to more than one party, separategifts for each place into colorful oversized shopping bags for easy toting.Take along an extra wrapped gift, like a Christmas book or CD, for a quicksave in case someone you've forgotten remembers you. Ready to Roll. Planning to travel? Fill up the gas tank; check oil andwindow washer fluid levels. Put an emergency kit in the trunk: blankets,flashlights, a spare tire, etc. Pack some snacks, too. "You just don'tknow," says Ronica Stromberg of Mission, Kansas. "If you do have any carproblems, you want to have something to stay warm and feed the kids." To help time pass on the way to Grandma's, surprise children with a fun-packto explore, stuffed with coloring books, hand-held games or dolls. Give Santa a Break. Want to avoid wrangling with bike parts at 2 a.m.? "Wealways put the boxes under the tree, then assemble gifts as a family," saysMissouri dad Roger Young. His twins, Mark and Mary, enjoy watching presentstake shape on Christmas morning. "We're a lot more appreciative of the gifts, since we help put themtogether," says Mary. Sweet Dreams. You've been waiting weeks to see your child's reaction tothat perfect gift. Get a good night's sleep, or you'll snooze through the"oohs". Finish your baking as early as possible on Christmas Eve; wrap the lastpackage before nightfall. Ease kids into bed at their regular time, readingthe original Christmas story from the Bible (Luke 2:1-20) or sharing happyholiday memories from your own childhood. Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night. (Comments? Write cheryl@homebodies.org or visit her website at http://www.homebodies.org , where you can interact with lots of friendlyHo-Ho-Homebuddies on the various message boards: http://forums.gospelcom.net/view/homebodies . Copyright 2001 Homebodies.Org. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.comLLC.) More >>

Mom On A Mission By Cheryl Gochnauer Do you ever feel like queen of your castle? After years of working forsomebody else, I like the perk of having time to polish my own 1400 squarefoot domain. It may not be the Taj Mahal, but it's mine. Well, mine andthe bank's. Anyway, now that I get to spend my days here instead of at the office, I'vehad time to explore every corner, and I've discovered that I like keeping atidy house. Don't worry; I'm not perfect. But like my high-maintenancehero in When Harry Met Sally, I know what I want, and I'm not afraid to askfor it. I want a clutter-free house. Toy-strewn bath and shower stalls bug me asmuch as over-stuffed file cabinets used to. Along the same lines, though Imay have bought them at thrift stores or clearance sales, I like clothesthat match, and furniture that fits. Every so often, I take a critical walkdown the halls and through the rooms. Lights pop on in closets and thebasement bares its secreted junk. Peeking under beds and over railings,out-of-place and under-used items are illuminated by my analyticalhigh-beams. My daughters sense a garage sale looming, and suddenly toys they haveignored for months become precious. You would not believe the tugs-of-warI've gotten into over ratty old blankets and dresses two sizes too small. "Look - it still fits!" Karen models her favorite high-water jeans with thetop button undone. Desperately she rallies support for its matching shirt.".And if I pull down the sleeves and hold my arms like this.. Mom! I wantthat!" I'm getting smarter. Most of the time, I do my dirty work while the kidsare away. Like the sticky-fingered Grinch, I silently stalk toy boxes andlaundry baskets. This works really well. It may be years before one of themturns around and says, "Didn't I used to have.. Mom!" I have no regrets. You just have to have a plan. For instance, take disposing of tatteredartwork that has languished in a discarded backpack for six months. Shakeoff the old cookie crumbs, then bury the picture deep in a black trash bag.Don't trust those thin bags you can see through. If you do, the piece willcome back to haunt you, plucked from oblivion as a now spaghetti-splatteredwork of art, magneted back in its hallowed spot on the refrigerator door. I especially enjoy getting rid of those games with 1,001 pieces. I don'tthink there is any real object to those games, except to scatter the piecesand leave. Territory markers, that's what they are. Well, this is myterritory and there are no squatters allowed! Into the garage sale box theygo. Believe it or not, the kids usually don't realize the game is goneuntil they see it out on the driveway with a sticker on it. Another note: Send the kids to Grandma's on garage sale day. Otherwise,they'll be chasing cars like schnauzers and half your inventory will end upin a reverent pile in the middle your child's bed. The perfect solution for kiddy clutter? Sell it to a neighbor withyoungsters near the same age as yours. That way, your children can go overto their house, scatter the pieces, and then come home. Both you and yourkids are happy! As a seasoned mother and unmuddler, I stand behind the advice given above.I've only been burned on this system once. There was this stuffed animal,you see, who had been lying in a haphazard heap in the corner one month toolong. It was whisked away during one of my whirlwind tours, and tagged tosell. When Little Red realized her Ballerina Bear had a new home, there wasa scene I could have sold movie rights for. I guess I should have let that bear gather another year's worth of dust.Instead, I unwittingly gave my daughter and a future support group somethingto talk about. But, HEY - my house looks great! (Comments? cheryl@homebodies.org or visit her website at www.homebodies.org . Copyright 2001 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com) More >>

What in the World is a STAY-AT-HOME Mom? We've all heard the term Stay-At-Home mom. I've even used the term to describe myself many times. I'm currently the SAHM of Teens columnist on www.Homebodies.org . But really, who EVER heard of a mother of teenagers that actually STAYS at home? Not me, that's for sure. And it's a pretty safe bet to say that it doesn't describe you either. Sometimes people (very misguided people, I might add) have asked me what I do all day. Some even chuckle about how nice it must be that I can stay home all day and how I must have so much time on my hands with nothing to do. Are they kidding? Them are fightin' words. I have three teenagers who don't have their driver's license yet and who are all involved in a variety of activities. Now, when I was young, I did a lot of walking and bike riding to get myself where I needed to be. Sometimes I think I should have my kids do more of that, but to be honest, the thought scares me. We live in a different world now than when I was a kid and I'd really be afraid to have my teen out on the streets alone, especially at night. So what choice is there? Mom's Taxi logs in several miles a day. Want to know my typical day? I bet yours is similar! Let's look at yesterday. After dropping the kids to school, I came home to clean the kitchen of breakfast dishes, have my daily time with God, and began homeschooling my youngest, who asked to be taught at home this year.Two hours later I assigned him work to do on his own while I went to pick up his sister for the dentist. I dropped her to the dentist and ran errands until she called my cell phone to come and get her. I then dropped her off to school. I checked over my son's work and then made lunch. After lunch (and more dishes) I worked at my "job" as a writer until it was time to help junior do his newspapers because it was raining. After that I picked up my daughter from school and dropped her off at work. An hour later I picked up my oldest from football practice, stopped at the grocery store to let him buy flowers for his cheerleader (this is a whole other story!) and came home to prepare dinner. After dinner (and more dishes) I brought one son to work, picked up my daughter FROM work and brought her to her soccer banquet. Upon my return home I was asked by my youngest to bring him skating. When I got home, my oldest called informing me that his place of employment overscheduled workers for the night and didn't need him to work and that I needed to go back and pick him up. (By the way, his boss had better be looking over his shoulder for this inconsiderate act!) I then had to pick up junior from skating and (because my daughter managed her own ride home) I was able to come home and collapse into my bed only to hear "Mom, I'm sorry, but my math project is due tomorrow and I just ran out of..." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The joys of being a "Stay-At-Home" mom. Who in the world ever came up with that term anyway?!? Patti Chadwick is a freelance writer and a Stay-at-Home mom of16 years. She's also author of the new bookMISSION POSSIBLE: RAISING GREAT TEENS! available for $5.95 at www.ParentsandTeens.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Home Sick By Cheryl Gochnauer "Carrie's got laryngitis," my husband announced after going into the girls'room to administer morning hugs. I groaned. There went my "mother's dayout" and much-anticipated lunch with a girlfriend. I do love my daughter, however, so tossing self-absorption aside, I kickedinto Physician mode. My little redhead limped into the bedroom and croaked,"Hi, Mommy." There was more, but her voice gave out. She crawled up on myside of the bed and hugged a pillow. As the day of throat-soothing cool juice, warm soup and snuggles in Mommy'slap passed, I reflected on past sick days. There was a time when a warmforehead in the Gochnauer household signaled ominous overtones for more thanthe ailing child. When I worked full-time, the decision to doctor my sick child was much morecomplicated. Which parent will miss work? Whose boss is moreunderstanding? Is she really sick, or can we send her to the sitter'swithout adverse results? And (I admit this shamefully), if I give her someTylenol, will her temperature go down - and stay down - until after my 11o'clock meeting? If she was indeed needing that personal attention only Mommy can give, aseries of apologetic phone calls to coworkers and department heads, after anervous check of dwindling vacation days, would start my own head pounding.No longer is my decision to personally treat my child up for committee vote. This afternoon, I pause to peek in the darkened bedroom where Little Redsnoozes, passed out from the double-whammy of antihistamines anddecongestants. She sleeps peacefully, knowing Mommy is nearby, armed withbackrubs and cool washcloths. Later, we have a date to color and whisper to Barbies. Carrie's daddy called at lunch to see how his little frog was doing. He'sdriving his tractor-trailer, concentrating on providing for the family,confident his youngest daughter is in good hands. At school, Karen eyes theclock as she finishes up her assignments. Maybe Carrie will feel good enoughto have a snack and watch Nickelodeon when Big Sister gets home. Even on sick days, I love being a stay-at-home mom. (Visit Cheryl's website at www.homebodies.org , or email your comments to Cheryl@homebodies.org . Her book, "So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom",may be a perfect gift for someone you know this Christmas. You can order anautographed copy from Cheryl at www.homebodies.org/order.htm .Copyright 1999 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com) More >>

Chhhanges! By Patricia R. Chadwick This year has brought a lot of changes for me. One of biggest changes is returning to homeschooling. Many moons ago, I homeschooled all of my children. For five years I taught 4 kids of varying grades in both elementary and Middle School. I really enjoyed it, but the time came when 2 of them wanted to return to school. My husband was injured at work that year, so we decided it was time for all of them to return to the public school. So, for the past 5 years, I've had the freedom to finish my B.A., work on my Master's Degree and develop interests of my own - including setting up this website. I have to admit, I've thoroughly enjoyed having this time alone while the kids were in school. But, as always, things change. My youngest has always struggled in school. And while he loved elementary school, going to the Middle School in 6th grade was just more than he could handle. He struggled and wanted to give up. He began to dislike school and spent a good portion of the year being "sick" in the morning or calling home "sick" from the nurse's office. He developed migraine headaches and nearly every day became a struggle to get (and keep) him in school. He asked to be homeschooled once in a while, then would change his mind.This past summer I asked him if he wanted to homeschool in 7th grade. He finally decided that he wanted to try 7th grade at the Middle School. The second day of school he called home sick with the elusive stomach headache. Yikes. The decision was made to give homeschooling a try. Now, I will admit, I wasn't too happy about this. My baby and I tend to butt heads. Maybe we are too much alike, I don't know. Maybe we are too different. Regardless, he bugs me when we are together too much. Not a good sign. But I really felt that God wanted me to do this. *sigh* Why does He so often call me to do things I don't want to do? I can't say I accepted the challenge too graciously - at first. Though I knew this was the best option for my son, I resented giving up my free time and my personal endeavors. I hope I didn't show it. But I felt it. Of course, it didn't help matters much when he gave me attitude and sass when he saw that homeschool was STILL school! Well, it's been two weeks of homeschooling now. His books finally came in and we've settled into a routine. I'm glad to report that he's doing really well and that we are getting along splendidly for the most part. He's becoming more interested in learning and loves being home. I'm finding his behavior much improved. And so is my attitude. I have come, once again, to the conclusion that positively influencing the life of even just one of my children is just as important as reaching out and helping the world. I just needed to be reminded! Today we took a field trip and then went out to lunch. While we were sitting at the Olive Garden eating our pasta, my son said to me, "You know Mom, just because you are homeschooling me doesn't mean you have to give up your writing. After lunch I can finish up my school work on my own and give you a few hours to write." As I sat there I realized how mature he's getting. And considerate. Maybe this will work out after all! Patricia Chadwick is a freelance writer and has been a stay-at-home mom for 15 years. She is currently a columnist in several online publications as well as editor of two newsletters. Parents Teens is a twice-monthly newsletter geared to help parents connect with their teens. Subscribe at www.parentsandteens.com . She is also the author of MISSION POSSIBLE: RAISING GREAT TEENS! available at: www.parentsandteens.com Permission granted for use of DrLaura.com More >>

The Definitive Choice By Cheryl Gochnauer Copyright 2000 Are you thinking about becoming an at-home parent, but feel paralyzed when faced with actually making the decision? Take a look at an email I received on this topic: Cheryl, How do you get past the 'waffling'? I know being a SAHM is the best thing for me and my family. However, I still like 'things and stuff'. Does that mean that the SAHM life is not a reality for me? I want to make a sane decision. I feel financially close to being home but unsure of thelong-term SAHM budget issues. I keep thinking through things and my head feels like it is about to pop. I am afraid to walk away from work. I make more than my husband and I really enjoy what I do. I don't want to makeeveryone suffer because of what I want. This whole situation makes me feel between a rock and a hard place! Lynne First of all, Lynne, DO NOT QUIT FULL-TIME WORK YET. That might sound funny coming from me, but the stay-at-home lifestyle demands confidence. Confidence that you're making the absolute best move for your family; confidence that you're called to do this; confidence that there's no other place you'd rather be, even on the tough days. (My motto remains, "The worst day at home still beats the best day at the office.") What does your husband say? Do you have supportive people around you? Is there a possibility that you could transform your full-time job into a job-sharing or part-time scenario? Lots of women find their perfect balanceby blending their home time with a undemanding part-time job, or a work-at-home position. (Think about it -- that's what I'm doing. I'm a mother first, but I'm also an author and speaker who works out of her home.) Here's another way of looking at it. Say your husband asked you to marry him, but you didn't know him well enough yet. So you were all kinda jumpy and apprehensive, because -- even though he turned out to be the one foryou -- you weren't convinced of that fact yet (although you had to admit, the guy was cute!). Would you go ahead and marry him anyway? Not if you're smart. What you would do is date him a while longer, while you were gathering the info that you needed to make your commitment to him. The when you said, "I do," you did so with all your heart. And even when the tough times came,they didn't threaten your commitment, because you knew why you married him. The same principle applies to making the jump to home. (Comments? Write Cheryl@homebodies.org or visit her website at www.homebodies.org . Books make great Christmas gifts. Visit Homebodies' "Recommended Resources" page for some ideas: www.homebodies.org/recbooks.html . Watch for Cheryl's article, "Super Stay-at-Home Mom Syndrome", in the Nov/Dec issue of Today's Christian Woman, now in bookstores. Copyright 2001 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com) More >>