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Email of the Day

Adoption Vs. Biological Children

I've heard you advise private adoption to women struggling with infertility.  My husband and I have one biological daughter and one daughter through private infant adoption.  Having experienced both, I wanted to share some perspective. We met our adopted daughter the day she was born.  When we had our biological child later, I found out that our feelings and love toward our girls were the same regardless of how they came to be ours.  It was probably a little bit easier meeting our adopted child, because I wasn't physically and emotionally exhausted from hours of pushing! 

There IS one big difference that I was never told about during the adoption process.  After you give birth to a baby, it takes barely any time at all for them to recognize you as their mom.  After a few days, they look at you and you can see total trust and love in their eyes, which is amazing.  Our adopted daughter didn't spend 9 months in my womb, and it took longer for her to prefer me to other people. This wasn't a negative though, because when she DID finally look at me that way, and I knew she understood that I was her mom, I EARNED it.  I can't think of a more humbling feeling than knowing that you have earned the trust and adoration of an innocent little human.  I hope my experience will encourage anyone considering adoption.  It is different, but no less beautiful.  I wouldn't change a single thing about how our family became a family.

Tags: Adoption, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Stay-at-Home Mom
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