Dear Dr. Laura:
I have been listening to you since 1996. I am happy to say that I've been married to my husband for 17 years and we are proud of our marriage. We hold our marriage and our children on a pedestal - because we believe we're doing a great job. Everyone comments on what a wonderful family we are. We've had our share of ups and downs - financial and emotional and we believe it has made us stronger and stronger still. We look at any problem as a task that we would have to accomplish just like anything else. So, enough of what a wonderful life - this is what I wanted to email you about.
They are on a "bucket list" vacation and he is talking about getting married for tax purposes. Cheaper on him but doesn't work for my mom. She may lose out on her social security benefits. She was upset because this marriage may mean a loss of income for her and it's all about money. I calmly said to her and this is a turning point for me - "Mom I want you to walk up to him and put your arms around him. Kiss him softly and say I love you and I'm so happy that we are together again. I never want to lose you. Let's agree that when we return home we will see a CPA and discuss whether marriage is what we should do for financial reasons and if it is we'll fly to Reno where our grandchildren can see us get married. Right now I just want to enjoy every minute of this vacation with you and then kiss him again and see where it goes."
I hope you appreciate that advice - my therapist was very happy with what I said. What I can tell you is my mom was shocked that I said that and didn't feed into what a jerk he is!!!
They are back from vacation and will be going to see a CPA soon.
Thanks for always being there Dr. Laura - I appreciate you and after years of listening gave my mom some good advice. I keep telling her to listen to you.
Have a great day!