by Petra Kreatschman Petralovecoach.comAre you that girl nobody can believe is still single… to the point it’s getting really annoying to hear that again and again?
You have a great career, wonderful friends, cool hobbies and a full life. You are fun, smart, hot, independent and accomplished, yet - no serious takers in the romantic department.
You can’t help but wonder: where here are all the great men? Taken? Busy exploring some remote wilderness or saving hungry children? Do they even exist?
You are a great catch, yet men either don’t stick around or simply can’t keep up with you. Most can’t get enough of you at first, but that quickly wears out and they disappear without a trace.
One day they’re crazy about you, the next they’re ignoring your messages.
You got used to rejection, but it still stings. It’s hard not to take it personally. Maybe you need to tone it down, hide your qualities and accomplishments, talk less?
What if men don’t want to date a woman who has it all sorted out? Are they just looking for damsels in distress? No matter how confident you are, doubt creeps in. What if there is something wrong with you? What if nobody will love you just the way you are?
You are partially right. Many men will be intimidated and scared by you. But they are not the men you should be dating in the first place. If they stuck around, you’d soon see they are not the right match for you.
To find those who are, you don’t have to tone down your personality, but quite the opposite – be proud of all you are and all you have to give.
If you keep attracting guys who don’t appreciate the real you – you’re probably still unsure if the real you is loveable enough.
Confidence comes in many varieties – it’s not all inclusive. You may be very confident about your worth in work or friendships, but not so much when it comes to your desirability as a partner.
That’s why you attract men who run away and don’t appreciate your whole package – you don’t value it enough either. When you’re not sure of your value, others doubt it too.
If you date immature, irresponsible men who need a nanny instead of a girlfriend – it’s because you feel you always have to be the strong one, and take care of all of your needs. You won’t let men see your weaknesses and act like you don’t need them – and the only ones who find that appealing are those who need taking care of.
You don’t need to change to meet your match. But you will have to change some of your beliefs. The ones that stand in your way sound something like this:
- All good men are taken.
- Men don’t like strong/confident/accomplished women (or fear them).
- I don’t need anyone’s help, I can do everything myself.
- All men are immature boys – they just need a mommy, not a partner.
- Maybe there is something wrong with me and I am not the type men want to marry.
- I can’t be myself otherwise I’ll scare them off.
- I am too intense and that’s not feminine or attractive.
- I am too good for them all.
- There is not enough choice – I’ll have to settle.
You can find your match, but you have to look for him the right way. First, you have to know you are worthy of love, just as you are. Without a doubt.
Second, you have to believe the right guy exists. He is a rare breed, but so are you. You won’t be happy with anything less. So don’t settle. No half-solution will ever satisfy a girl like you.Once you’re sure you can make someone happy just as you are, and you know he is out there somewhere, you’ll stop wasting your time with wrong men. With the insecurities gone, you will easily attract the right ones. Or more precisely – the right one.
Petra Kreatschman is a love and relationship coach, guide and mentor. She connects with men and women from all over the world sharing her love tips through her popular blog Petralovecoach.com, online courses and individual coaching. She is happily married today, but has been on that bumpy road to love and knows very well how hard it is to see what you’re doing wrong, and why you can’t seem to find happiness in love. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
