Relationships

By Dr. Stephanie Burgos
www.healthyerdoc.com


I was having a conversation with a girlfriend of mine who is single, and she was expressing her concerns about how she cannot find a partner to save her life. As a busy medical professional she didn't have time for games, and she was starting to feel like her impatience and frustrations with not being able to find a mate was hurting her career-wise because she was bringing that negative mood and energy into her work and every other part of her life.  

I could sense the impatience and sadness within her. She went on to tell me how she was feeling really stressed, putting a lot of pressure on herself, and feeling like everyone else had found love but her. I looked at my successful friend, who had gained a few pounds since I last saw her, and asked her a simple question: "What do you do to feed your inner self every day?"

She stared at me blankly and said, "I'm too busy. I honestly don't do anything for me."

This is something I hear way too often. Whether I am talking with my patients in the ER or with my clients over a private video chat; women are not making enough time to connect with their inner self and as a result, are putting out low-vibe energy waves stopping them from finding true love. 

Does this sound like you?

You will attract what you put out. And if you are looking for a positive, loving, encouraging partner, then guess what? You have to be those things first.  You cannot expect someone to come into your life and bring those feelings to you and your life.
  
So how do you do that?

1. Become best friends with your inner girl. A best friend loves, encourages, and supports. She tells you when to shut up when you are not making sense, and she invites you to speak louder when you are preaching the truth! She pushes you to do things that you are afraid to do because she believes in you. It is so important that you realize that you must be that voice for yourself. 


2. Lead with gratitude. This is one practice that has completely shifted the way I perceive life. Gratitude is one of those fantastic emotions that when you are feeling it, you cannot feel anything negative simultaneously. Appreciation leads to love. When you start your day with gratitude, it increases your vibration and brings you more joy. And because you are starting your day in this high energy state, you will continue to put out those positive waves throughout the day, bringing more positive connections and experiences to you. 


3. Start a practice of meditation. For many years I kept telling myself that I would never be able to meditate. My mind was always continually racing. Meditation allows you to slow down and connect more with yourself. It helps to get rid of the racing thoughts in our head that can sometimes consume us and shows us how to be more in the present moment. It also helps us stay calmer as life throws obstacles in our way and as we communicate with people. If you want to improve your emotional strength, then meditate! 


4. Get MOVING daily. Commit yourself to move your body every day. Whether it is going out for a walk, going to your local gym or working out from home - strengthening your body will not only help you stay in shape but will also boost your confidence.  And confidence is essential in finding the right person. When you are insecure in your body, you will tend to attract insecure men who will not treat you well. 


5. Take Responsibility for your Mindset. In all honesty, there is very little that we can control in this world. However, what we CAN control is how we react and perceive things that happen to us. We cannot change the way others act or what they say, but we can control our mindset and emotions. No one should ruin your day or your week or your month! Everyone has a right to live their life as they wish and it may very well be different than how you live yours. If you can embrace the differences and not take specific actions and words so personally, then you will see that you will have more peace in your life and resultantly, attract that energy into your world.

I know that in this fast-paced world we want everything to come to us quickly: success, money, and love! However, when it comes to finding love, sometimes there are specific lessons we need to first learn about ourselves before we find that special person.  Relationships work best when you fully know who you are and feel centered and confident in what you have to offer. 



Dr. Stephanie Burgos is not only one of the nation's acclaimed Emergency Medicine Physicians, she is also a best - selling author, lifestyle and confidence coach, wellness expert, speaker, and social influencer. Dr. Stephanie works with women on how to balance mental and physical fitness with personal and professional success so they can renew their energy, restore clarity and rebuild confidence. You can learn more at healthyerdoc.com and follow Dr. Stephanie on Instagram. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.