Dr. Laura Blog

Breaking up with someone is usually an ugly mess and something you shouldn’t do unless you’re absolutely certain. Playing games with someone’s heart and soul isn’t only mean - it’s damaging. However, if you’re sure, here’s how to do it right:  

1. Do it in person and in private. At least show them that much respect.   

2. Don’t blame them. Don’t use this moment to say nasty things or tear them down.

3. Tell them the truth. Don’t say any of the cliche things like, “It’s not you, it’ s me,” or, “You’re a wonderful person and someday you’ll find someone.” Just speak the truth. For example, “This has been a nice experience, but I don’t think we’re a match,” or ,“I’m uncomfortable with the family dynamic you have.”

4. Don’t open the floor to debate. Be succinct, and don’t argue. Make it clear that you’re not here to discuss things or make it better. Your decision is final.

5. Don’t stay in touch. Staying friends is basically a selfish game where you’re unwilling to give up the stuff that was good for you.

6. Don’t discuss it with everyone you know. Don’t gloat or be vengeful on social media. Certain things should be kept private. If someone asks why you broke up, say that it just wasn’t a match. Show your ex the same respect you did when you still loved them.