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In a Marital Rut?: 8 Ways to Make Your Marriage Juicy!
Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D.

It is very easy to get stuck in habitual patterns in a marriage that become rote and uninspiring.  As we get too familiar with our partners, we can become more like siblings, lacking desire.  There are so many ways to make your marriage juicy, you just have to decide that it is what you want your marriage to feel like and live it out consciously.  If you had passion for your partner in the beginning, there is no other reason than laziness if that passion goes away.  Remember, familiarity breeds boredom.  Step outside the comfort zone of your routine and make your marriage spicy!

8 Ways to a Juicy Marriage:

1. Love your life: Independence and a sense of purpose are sexy. So whether you engage in personal development, spiritual enrichment, working out, or having a great career, you become a person that is more confident, peaceful and evolved.  This makes you more unpredictable and interesting to your spouse.  If you have no love for yourself or passion for your life, you will not offer anything new to make things juicy.  There is nothing juicier than looking at your partner and finding him or her intriguing.

2. Connect with your dreams: Become passionate and invigorated in all the things you do.  If you are going to clean the house, walk the dog or embark on a new endeavor, do it with a great attitude.  Nurture the vision of what kind of energy you dream to have as a person and extend that out.  It is amazing how a passionate person with a great attitude becomes very sexy to their partner.

3. Flirt: Flirting opens a marriage up to fun.  Send your partner sweet and sexy text messages they would not be expecting.  We all love to feel that we are desired, attractive and still sexy.  Newness is sexy, and flirting is a great way to make things feel new and fresh again. 

4. Surprise your partner with an unexpected gift: Do not wait around for holidays or other events to take the initiative to show thoughtfulness.  Send a little gift or plan a great night, just because.  It is often more meaningful to receive an unexpected surprise than to receive one that is planned and expected.   

5. Show pride in your partner: In marriage, it is easy to freeze your partner into a fixed perception/role.  Get out of that.  Publicly brag about your partner's amazing qualities.  Refrain from making them the brunt of a joke.  Your partner needs you to act maturely instead of like a teasing child/bully (not sexy).  Embrace their positive qualities and let them know you fully have their back. 

6. Quality time: Plan special time for the two of you. Date night should be mandatory.  The kids need to see you going out, having fun, touching and laughing together.  You need to focus on being a fun and engaging couple.  Quality time helps you to take a moment to reconnect and remember how great your relationship really is.

7. Laugh and be lighthearted: Marriages that are not juicy have a bad case of seriosity.  Life, work, kids, financial pressures, and restraints all have a way of taking over and engulfing the marriage.  Take a break, put the stressors to the side and find the lighter side of the day to smile and laugh about.  There is nothing sexier than a smile and a happy partner.  It's hard to feel juicy about a Debbie Downer. We are all capable of laughing, even in the worst of times.

8. Be fun sexually: Fun does not mean you have to engage in sexual acrobatics, it just means to have fun.  At the end of the day, sex can really make you feel good.  Get out of the rigidity that can happen, be open to having a great attitude and allow yourself to be juicy.

Your relationship is what you make it, so if you have allowed the quality of the relationship to drop, be inspired to make it better again.  It is not hard to do.  A marriage is like a company: If you quit putting in deposits, it will go bankrupt. 

Little Life Message:  Love yourself so you have love to give, and then share that love with your partner. 

Dr. Sherrie Campbell is an author and a licensed psychologist with more than 19 years of clinical training and experience. She provides practical tools to help people overcome obstacles to self-love and truly achieve an empowered life. Click here to get her free article, “Five Ways to Make Love the Common Ground in Your Communication.”  She is a featured expert on a variety of national websites and has a successful practice in Southern California. Receive free insights from Sherrie and be involved in her Facebook community of others looking to improve their relationships. For more information visit Permission granted for use on

Tags: Humor, Intimacy, Laughter, Marriage, Sex, Sexless marriage, The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
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