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Is Your Dating Style All About You?
By Nancy Pina

Dating brings a rush of emotions to the surface and no matter what has happened in the past, there is usually a sense of anticipation before the date. "Could this person be the one?" is the question from the heart.  Your experiences in dating, love, and commitment are directly related to your past thoughts. What you expect to happen does happen in love. Your purposeful thoughts influence your relationships and the type of person you attract.

As a relationship coach, I teach others that identifying the problem is one thing; what to do next is the challenge. How does one stop a past relationship pattern and attract the right person?

Many people who have had a history of bad dates or relationships that did not work out often think the past is not responsible for the conditions of the present. If this is your belief, you may tell yourself that it is a lack of available quality individuals to date that keeps your dreams of lasting love out of reach. What you experience in love is definitely all about you because you have preprogramed and predetermined what will happen.

The good news?

If you are unhappy with the conditions of your love life today, you can make adjustments. This is not a permanent condition if you are willing to retrain your thought process.

Ask yourself, "Am I alert to what I'm thinking about in love?"

Your mind is powerful, and every thought you embrace will lead to that particular type of dating and relationship experience. Things you say about your dating life are important...nothing is frivolous. They will lead to corresponding consequences. Change your thoughts and mindsets, and you can change your love life forever.

The flow of your thoughts works like this:

  • Thoughts lead to actions
  • Actions lead to the formation of habits
  • Habits shape character
  • Character determines your destiny.

Your thoughts control your life. They are not stagnant, and they move you in the direction you meditate on.

Do you want to be happy, secure and confident in love?

Start thinking positive thoughts on purpose, and reject negative statements that do not lead you to your desired goals. If you are stuck in love, here are my suggestions to start examining your thoughts and expectations about love:

1. Determine Your Life Foundation. Every person has a foundation for the life they have built. That basis determines truth and becomes the filter. Worthy mindsets are those that are based on a positive, solid foundation.

2. What is the Source of this Thought? Many times habits are formed early in life as a way to emotionally protect oneself from drama. Instead of developing new habits, many people try to make the old ones fit. It is important to process the feelings and hurts of the past so you are not bringing former preconceived ideas to the present. Left unattended, those mindsets will taint your perception of love.

3. Will this Thought Take Me Where I Want to Go in Love? If you think you will attract people who are losers, people who treat you with disrespect, or people who are unreliable and untrustworthy, without a doubt those thoughts will take you in that very direction. You cannot expect an emotionally healthy relationship to happen if you do not feel worthy of receiving that type of love.

You can experience the right relationship that leads to commitment if you are willing to prepare for it. Love with the right person is very fulfilling, but the process of getting there starts with you. Your dating life should be all about you.

When you know where you have been in love, how you got there, and where you want to go now, you can achieve the dreams and desires of your heart. Good love is an attainable goal that takes planning, starting with embracing thoughts that line up with where you want to go.

Nancy Pina is a highly recognized author, relationship coach and speaker. She is dedicated to helping individuals attract emotionally healthy relationships through her practical Christian-based advice.  Visit for articles and exercises. Her recent books and free app can be found at  Permission granted for use on
Tags: Attitude, Character, Character-Courage-Conscience, Dating, Happiness, Health, Values
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