Dr. Laura Blog

When you break up with someone, it’s normal to second-guess. Did you make a huge mistake, or are you simply scared to give up the good stuff, be on your own, and start over with someone new?

How do you know if you should give your boyfriend or girlfriend a second chance?

Reasons you should:

1. The situation is fixable. There was a misunderstanding, or they have since changed. You can’t make someone change or fix themselves - they have to want to change.

2. They’ve apologized and mean it. Apologizing means showing true remorse, making an effort to not let the wrong happen again, and repairing the damage done.

3. It was just the wrong time. Maybe one of you was in school or moved away. If time has passed and now the timing is right, then it’s OK to give the relationship another chance.

Reasons you shouldn’t:

1. You have different values or life goals. That’s not fixable.

2. They cheated. Cheating should be non-negotiable and one-strike only. If they cheated, they don’t deserve a second chance. If they showed you that much disrespect and you let them back in, they know they can do it again.

3. They’re an addict. The same rule for cheaters applies to addicts.

4. They treat you badly. If they make you feel bad about yourself, they’re not good for you. Mistreatment should never be tolerated.