Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D.SherrieCampbellPhD.com
Women who are too nice and who try too hard with men to win their love, end up single more quickly than they would like. They end up single and confused as to why, after all they have done, they still could not hook their man. Women who are insecure audition for men in every way trying to show him they can be the “cool girl,” “a guy’s girl,” “mother,” “best friend” and “therapist.” Men don’t want this. A real man wants a woman who knows herself, puts herself first and creates a challenge for him. When a woman changes her life direction for a man and makes him the center of her universe it kills his attraction.
The Big 3 Attraction Killers:
1. Needy: When a woman is too nice to a man he sees her as needy. Neediness is ok in children, but a man wants a woman who is in control of herself, of her emotions and of how she approaches relationships. He does not want to be with someone who whines, complains or tantrums to get his attention. He does not want to see his woman as another responsibility in his life that he has to take care of. A man wants to take care of the woman who doesn’t need him to provide that for her.
2. Desperate: Things go wrong in all relationships and a man needs to see his woman can hold her own through stressful times and not blow up his phone, email and stalk him to get him to talk. When a woman acts desperate, it sends a clear message to a man that all of her desires to fix things are her efforts to make things in the relationship be on her terms. She is not thinking about what he wants or his perception.
When this happens she does everything she can to convince him of why he needs to change to make things better for her. Note to self: Men were not put on planet earth to be what women want them to be. Women need to be themselves and if they don’t like what their man is giving, doing or not doing then they should love themselves enough to leave and choose better. This would actually make men respect them a lot more.
3. Jealousy: Women who are insecure are jealous of everything the man does. She is jealous of anything that gets his time from; sports, friends, his job and any friends he has who are girls. They become suspicious of every unknown number on his phone and they are constantly badgering him for his whereabouts. Jealousy is the quickest way to lose and man and to look crazy and insecure in his eyes. If a woman is seeing a man whom she believes she has reason not to trust she should get out of the relationship regardless of his excuses. She should choose better treatment for herself.
Men want empowered, independent women who have an “I don’t care” attitude. He needs to connect and also have his freedom. He does not want to be with a woman who focuses on every nuance and detail of everything he does or says, where he is being interrogated to explain himself and make the relationship better for her. He likes and needs and a challenge and is attracted to a woman he cannot easily rattle, who has her own life she won’t give up for him, and a woman who loves herself enough not to deal with him if he isn’t going to treat her correctly.
Little Life Message: To capture a man, be empowered and embraced in yourself and your own life and keep it that way even after you have fallen in love.
Dr. Sherrie Campbell is the author of Loving Yourself, and a licensed Psychologist with more than nineteen years of clinical training and experience. Receive free insights from Sherrie and to be involved in her Facebook community of others looking to improve their relationship. For more information visit www.sherriecampbellphd.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
