Close
Premium Podcast Help Contact Dr. Laura Dr. Laura Designs Return to DrLaura.com
Join Family Premium Login Family
Parenting
05/13/2010
IconWilliam Taylor, from a Washington, D.C. suburb, cheated on his wife.' How do I know that?' Because he held a sign near Tyson's Corner Mall that read:' "I cheated and this is my punishment."' He stayed out on the corner for most of the morning commute, creating quite a commotion.' He and his wife brokered the deal.' He figured he had to do what she asked in order to make things right.When Fox TV interviewed women, they all loved the idea.' The print version of the story appeared on www.foxnews.com and it was followed by a series of reader comments.' Some of the responses suggested that castration was the best punishment for infidelity.' One (obviously male) writer pointed out that women seem to enjoy publicly humiliating men, but would not tolerate the reverse for exactly the same situation.That is true.' Feminism's perspective is that no matter what a woman does, it is the man's fault, and whatever a man does is the man's fault.' Hypothetical example:' a man and woman rob a bank.' He's a bad guy, and she is duped, clouded by love, or dominated by his will.' She's a sad victim, instead of a co-conspirator.' Another example:' a married man has an affair which lasts two weeks.' He comes guilt-ridden to his wife and confesses.' He tells her he's been so emotionally and sexually ignored by her for ten years, that he just absolutely needed some feminine attention and affection.' She ignores everything that comes after the confession and spends her time punishing him and whining to all who will listen.Women rarely take responsibility for any negative relationship issues, and that's largely because of the feminist brainwashing which has made them see all men as Darth Vader.'Here's another point:' in the development of our country, being humiliated in the public square was a standard form of punishment -- remember "stocks" and "pillories" from American history class?' There is something positive to be said about this concept of punishment - for men or women.'When we lived in small communities, the power of shame was potent, and probably dissuaded many from inappropriate behavior of all sorts.' The thought of being embarrassed in public is horrendous to most people, since our reputations are everything in interpersonal relationships.I bet that a lot of spouses, seeing this fellow out there, will remember him when they consider straying.' Consider it a kind of prophylactic for infidelity. More >>

Tags: AdulteryDay CaredaycareInfidelityParentingPersonal ResponsibilitySocial IssuesValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconEvery time a celebrity does something egregious (and only when they get caught doing it), they appear on Letterman (or previously on Leno) or some network morning show to self-flagellate as a method for gaining sympathy.' It's a rather standard public relations maneuver, and I usually find it to be an example of false contrition.There's a big difference between having remorse because you were caught, as opposed to before you were caught.' Most people just say "Sorry," because they were caught, and not because they have actual remorse for doing something wrong.' In other words, their "Sorry," actually means "Geez, I'm soooo sorry I was caught," which is vastly different from "Oh, I'm soooo sorry I hurt someone." This brings me to Michael Vick, who, with his own hands, perpetrated some of the most horrific torture of fighting dogs that I have ever heard about.' Frankly, it was hard to imagine the kind of dissociation from all compassion and emotion that goes into looking into the eyes of suffering animals, and enjoying watching the pain and enjoying having that much power over an agonized, terrified animal.' To me, that is sociopathic which is over the top in cruelty.' I would not like to see that person on the streets ever again.Vick is now out of jail, and has been on 60 Minutes to explain his behavior and to make the case for his repentance.' Repentance has four parts:' 1) taking responsibility for your actions (owning what you've done and giving no excuses or blaming others for your own actions), 2) feeling remorse (i.e., being truly regretful for the hurt caused), 3) repair (for example, going to the Humane Society and/or giving talks to change people's minds and hearts about how they treat animals - and, by the way, Vick has been doing that), and 4) no repeat behavior.' Those are the Four R's of Repentance.On 60 Minutes , Vick took total responsibility for his actions.' He was even pushed by James Brown, who asked: "Who do you blame for all of this?" Vick said, "I blame me." He didn't use the words "but..." or "it's just..." which I hear all too often on my radio program.' Instead, he just took responsibility.' He talked about his first experience watching dog fights at age 8, and, as a boy of 8, thought it was cool, fun, and exciting.' It was something a lot of men friends did together.'It was poignant when he pointed out that it was time for him to pay the price with jail time, he did that alone, because all his so-called "friends" were gone.' He said, "I deserve to lose the $130 million." He also admitted to being lazy and arrogant while at the Atlanta Falcons. It seems he took his prison time to really assess his own moral character and his life.' He spent 2 years in jail, and was suspended from playing football, and he lost all his sponsorship dollars and his reputation.'None of that really impresses me...not at all.' What does impress me is his statement that "football doesn't matter at all," because "...I should have [taken] the initiative to stop it all.' I didn't.' I didn't stop it at all." So, I'm okay with the Philadelphia Eagles giving him a job.' I think he's taken a right-hand turn onto the correct road toward being a decent human being.' I'm willing to stand out of his way and let him do just that. More >>

Tags: academicsEducationMoralsMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingPersonal Responsibility
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
Tags: DivorceFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMarriageParentingSex
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParenting
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconI breast-fed my son, and promote breast-feeding for adult mothers, for both psychological and physiological reasons - it's a great and wonderful thing for mother and child.' I do believe in being discreet, however, which gets some breast-feeding moms hot under the collar.' I guess they forget that breasts are "sexual" parts to men, and generally are considered appendages that should be private.'So what's the latest toy on the market for little girls (coming out in time for the holidays)?' A doll that comes with a special halter top for a little girl (the doll's "mother") to wear as she pretends to breast feed her "baby."' The halter top has daisies that cover a little girl's nipples, and come undone just as easily as the flaps of a real nursing bra do.'Toys need to be age-appropriate, and toys which may speed up maternal urges at a time when children are not that mature, are just not appropriate at all. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenParenting
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconAntidepressant drug use in the United States doubled between 1998 and 2005, according to a report in The Archives of General Psychiatry.' But I'm telling you that there is no way in the world that the incidence of profound depression doubled in that same period.' No way.About 13 million people (or 6% of the population) were prescribed an antidepressant in 1996.' By 2006, that number rose to more than 27 million people.' Again, there's no way that the incidence of profound depression increased that much.'Try this number on for size:' more than 164 million prescriptions were written in 2008, totaling almost $10 BILLION in US sales.' Unlike the incidence of profound depression, I believe that the incidence of making money off prescriptions for depression did indeed double between 1996 and 2005.As a licensed psychotherapist, I can tell you with great candor that the psychological and pharmaceutical communities have a huge investment in income - plain and simple.' It's been amazing to me (and I have commented on this publicly for thirty years) how there are trends in diagnoses and grandiose treatments.' For a while, everyone was agoraphobic; then every adult claimed to have some level of ADD; then there was a trend toward multiple personality disorder.' Now, being bi-polar is the illness of choice, or so it seems.I'm going to state the obvious: yes , there are people clinically depressed to such a severe level that medicine might be the difference between life and suicide.' I have recommended interim treatment for people who seem to be suffering profoundly.However, this "doubling" issue is occurring for a number of reasons:' 1) trends in the psych industry; 2) money-making efforts by pharmaceutical companies (notice all the TV commercials); 3) the growing weakness of the American public to deal with frustrations and setbacks; 4) the social acceptance of copping to a mental illness to explain various personality/behavioral issues; 5) insurance companies not paying for psychotherapy (requiring high out-of-pocket expenses for treatment).' The bottom line?' Numerous studies show that therapy is as effective (if not more effective) than drug use alone.I've become more and more concerned about people trying to "cure" what is normal.' I've said this on my program many times:' being sad and deflated over job or love losses is normal ; having childhood disruptions in one's life is normal ; hanging on to them as an identity, attempt at attention, and as a cop-out for responsibilities is not accepting (and not enduring) what is normal .'A sixteen year old male called my radio program the other day.' He was sad that "the love of his life" dumped him, and he didn't see any future for himself.' I told him that what he was calling the "love of his life" at 16 was not what he would choose as the love of his life at 26.' I also told him that this adolescent "drama" was normal , and that he would go through it a number of times, before he truly recognized who would ultimately be the "love of his life."' His attitude lightened up as he began to understand what normal meant.' I told him to distract himself with sports (releasing powerful endorphins) and friends, without harping on his situation, and it would pass...until the next time.' That is just simply what life is like.We have people who can't take a joke, can't tolerate a difference of opinion (after George W. Bush was re-elected, a psychologist in my area published an article talking about the massive depression in his patients who were Democrats - I was stunned and horrified that people would seek therapy for an election disappointment), who call everything "harassment," who go through difficulties and say that the rest of their lives are "ruined" because of that event, who say they can't function anymore in life because somebody pushed them too close to their actual potential, and so on.'Frankly, I worry that Americans are getting spiritually and psychologically weaker - voluntarily - because victimhood is attractive, and because there is a group for every type of victim that will help them to prolong the suffering. More >>

Tags: ChildrenHealthMental HealthParentingPersonal Responsibility
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
Tags: MotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingSexStay-At-Home-Moms
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconI should have curly hair by now, especially considering the shenanigans and cruelty perpetrated on children by self-centered adults who have the title "parent."' Their behavior would curl anyone's hair.A 72-year-old woman realized that she "always wanted a child, but spent [her] younger years devoted to academics, achieving degrees in medical sciences and zoology.' I'd always had it in the back of my mind that when the time was right I'd like to have a child.' But my studies meant that children kept getting delayed.' The right time finally came in my early 50s, and since then, I've been attempting, and failing, with IVF [in-vitro fertilization]." This excuse for a prospective mother has never had a long term relationship (no time for that either), and therefore doesn't even have an ancient daddy to provide for the child.' As for her age?' Well, she figures anyone can die at any time (and she's a scientist?' She's supposed to understand actuarial tables).' She really believes she's going to last long enough in good enough health, or she says she'll "ask one of my younger friends to be a guardian." So, IF she conceives (and I sincerely hope her 20 years of fertility failure continue), she'll play with the kid and then just pass him or her off to some friend.' Great.Remember the Italian woman, then the oldest to give birth in 2006 at the age of 67?' She died recently.' You can count the age of her orphaned child on less than one hand.If this woman succeeds, she will have the title of the oldest mother in the world.' I would suggest that she will be the oldest female creature to give birth, as a real mother would never set up her own child for this selfish foolishness.' I wish this fertility doctor would have his license revoked.' The same should happen to the American doctor who impregnated the "Octomom."Freedoms without limits automatically encroach upon good sense, compassion, and someone else's well-being.' This is just another example of how insignificant the needs of children have become as compared to the impulsive, self-centered desires of adults who want children, but who don't necessarily want to be bothered by the needs of children. More >>

Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceChildrenFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMoralsMorals, Ethics, ValuesMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
Tags: ChildrenParentingPersonal ResponsibilityValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
Tags: Family/Relationships - TeensFather's DayMen's Point of ViewMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingSexTeens
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe