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Dr. Laura Blog
Posted under Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconIn response to my blog on the degeneration of interpersonal relationships through Facebook, MySpace, and the swell of gossip media outlets, I got this from Paul French: You are so correct.' My wife came across a great quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that I believe explains a lot of this:' 'Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.' Thanks, Paul! More >>

Tags: Internet-Media, Internet/Media, Parenting, Social Networking, Values
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Posted under Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconLondon's Daily Mail reports that a Cambridge University study has found that the more sex partners students have, the lower their grades.' The online study was published in the student magazine Varsity , and compiled results based on answers from more than 1,000 Cambridge University students.The study found that medical students were among those with the most sexual partners, and that mathematicians had the fewest partners.It's scary to think that the average physician's learning efforts dropped with his/her increased number of sexual partners.' I wonder if that will be one of the questions listed on the online physicians' assessments available for public view? More >>

Tags: Education, Sex, Sexuality
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Posted under Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconFrankly, calling abortion (the termination of a life within a woman's uterus) "reproductive health," is a ridiculous - but effective - way of obfuscating the realities.' A January 18 report from the Associated Press (which excludes California because its government does not provide data) estimates that in 2005 there were 1.2 million abortions - down from a peak of 1.6 million abortions in 1990, but still happening in 20% of the cases where conception has occurred.Half of the 1.2 million U.S. women who have abortions each year are 25 and older, while only 17% are teenagers.' Since abortion became legal, there have been roughly 50 million abortions in the US, and more than one-third of adult women are estimated to have had at least one."Planned Un-Parenthood," as I call that group, is launching a major effort to elect so-called "pro-abortion rights" candidates to Congress and the White House in November.' According to the Wall Street Journal (January 22, 2008), they plan to spend $10 million to elect candidates who back its priorities.' We are just in the beginning of a world wide jihadist movement to eradicate Western Civilization, and they want to focus only on protecting a woman's right to kill the life growing inside her body.' I don't love special interest groups.Tuesday, January 22, 2008, the Santa Barbara News-Press published a half-page ad from the "Santa Barbara Pro-Choice Coalition" concerned with what would happen to women in America "if Roe Fell?"' They list: "They may have to resort to back alleys, they'll be forced to travel to states with less restrictive laws, they may be prosecuted for self-induced abortions, [and] poor and low income women will suffer the most."' It is signed by just about every group in Santa Barbara that is dominated by women (except, of course, by religious or pro-life groups).When I woke up to that ad I thought immediately that "if Roe Fell" maybe women would be more circumspect about when and with whom they had sex; that women might show some proactive responsibility by using the birth control pill, an IUD, etc., or have the maturity to make sure their sex partner (or, if you're in college, it's just a hook-up partner) uses a condom.' I also thought that maybe they'd have the compassion not to make an innocent child experience capital punishment, and instead be offered for adoption to a two-parent, mature and responsible married couple and thereby create a family instead of terminating a life.Instead, we've got a culture that disdains personal responsibility and elevates freedom from consequences and the impact on others be damned.' Think about the so-called reality shows which have young adults mixing and matching sexual exploits, and the popularity of television programs like "Sex in the City" and "Friends."' Sharon wrote to me recently about the second American Idol pilot episode: "Auditioning was a young man who had made a promise to his father never to kiss or be intimate with a girl until his wedding night.' He wears a key around his neck that fits into a heart that hangs around his father's neck.' His father will give this heart to his son's bride when the time comes.' It was all very sweet and I admired him so much for his dedication to this promise.' I thought that his wife would be a very lucky woman." "I was shocked at American Idol's spin on this young man's promise.' I thought they would respond to it as romantic.' Instead, they essentially mocked him.' He did not get selected, and when he asked if the judges had any advice, they told him to go kiss a girl.' He told his father he would just keep working on his voice and come back next year.' The announcer said maybe next year he'll come back as a man instead of a boy." "I was shocked.' To me he already was a man.' It takes a man to make a sacrifice like that.' He was easily 25.' In today's world, boys as young as 12 are having sex, so does that make them men?' Who makes the standards on what makes a man today?' And does American Idol have any right to make that call?" About 13 percent of American women are black, yet new figures from the Centers for Disease Control show they account for 35 percent of the abortions and the overwhelming majority of children born to black women are "illegitimate."' Alveda King, a niece of Martin Luther King Jr., calls herself a "reformed murderer" for undergoing two abortions when she was young.' According to the AP report, she is now an outspoken anti-abortion campaigner.' She says that the best way to reduce abortions among black women is to dissuade more of them from premarital sex.' "'We give free sex education, free condoms, free birth control,' she complained.' 'That's almost like permission to have free sex, and the higher the rate of sexual activity, the higher the rate of unintended pregnancy.'"Ms. King is so right.' The Denver Post (January 7, 2008) reported that pregnant students in a Denver high school are asking for at least four weeks of maternity leave so "they can heal, bond with their newborns, and not be penalized with unexcused absences."' These are unmarried teenagers whose children will now be in 'other than mom'-care, most likely grow up in poverty, and not have a dad in their lives.' Meanwhile, society is telling these girls that their actions should have no consequences on them...what about their children?!' The do-gooders who back up these young girls refuse to acknowledge this disaster cast upon innocent children, and instead propagate more such irresponsible behavior by demanding free child-care and elevating these girls to a sacred status.'It would seem that reinstituting shame for being a "bad girl" and having sexual intercourse out-of-wedlock (it works...there were no pregnancies in either of the two high-schools I went to in Long Island, NY), and pushing the heck out of adoption might be better for women in the long run than unfettered abortion rights.What is ignored or denied by Planned UN-Parenthood types are the wide range of emotional problems that women who have had abortions suffer.' To get up to speed with these facts, check out www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/after_abortion_psychological_rea.asp .'Nicole wrote to me about watching a popular morning television talk show where the topic was "hooking up." "On stage was a fourteen year old girl who mentioned that her friends were having oral sex at the age of 11 and that she had hooked up too.' Evidently, when the mother expressed some anger, the host and the 'expert' ganged up on her telling her how to be more understanding and go off with her and buy condoms." "That's when I shut the television off.' I grew up with parents who had a zero tolerance policy for sexual activity outside of marriage.' Sure, when I was a child our conversations about sex were calm and relaxed.' We talked openly about the consequences and reasons to wait.' However, when I became a teenager I knew that if I had sex and got pregnant, I was on my own.' I knew that if I had sex they would not pay for college.' I knew that if I had sex there were not only going to be consequences with my parents...and you know what?' As a teenager, losing the love and respect of my parents was enough of a consequence for me to abstain when my friends were not." "Parents need to be stern about sex outside of marriage - not compassionate.' If my parents had told me in advance that I could come to them after I had sex and all I would receive was a big hug and a trip to the drug store, I would have had no reason to abstain." Perhaps we should go back to thinking about sex as "making love," and then wait 'til we actually are...making love. More >>

Tags: Abortion, Planned Parenthood, Quote of the Week, Social Issues, Values
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Posted under Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconI get thousands of emails, letters and faxes every week.' They can be funny, sobering, trivial, deep.' Every once in a while one comes in that just takes my breath away.' This is one of those: "I am terminally ill with cancer.' I AM GOING TO BE HAPPY EVERY DAY.' Life is a very great gift.' I am very grateful for each day.' Even if all you get in life is one sunrise or one sunset; life is a fantastic present. I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR MY HAPPINESS." She asked me not to use her name. More >>

Tags: Education, Family/Relationships - Family, Halloween, Holidays, Marriage, Movie Review, Movies, Parenting, Quote of the Week, Relationships, Relatives, Thanksgiving
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Posted under Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconI want to begin this blog by offering my deepest and most sincere condolences to the family and friends of Heath Ledger , the young movie star found dead this week in his apartment.' The point of view of this blog does not in any way intend to minimize the loss, hurt, and emotional suffering of those with whom he was close.However, the amount of media attention to this tragedy does seem excessive to some, while the heroically tragic sacrifices of other talented and brave young Americans go unnoticed.' A "Blue Star Mother" (an organization of mothers who now have, or have had, children honorably serving in the military bluestarmothers.org ) wrote to me: "In listening to the recent press hysteria surrounding Heath Ledger's death, I can't help but contrast that with the ultimate sacrifice our troops make every day with no fanfare. My son, a Specialist with the Army 25th ID, is stationed in Taji, Iraq.' Last Friday he witnessed the death of his very good friend, Specialist Jon Schoolcraft , age 26, to an IED, not to mention the grievous wounds sustained by others in the same attack.' I would ask your listeners to log onto the DoD website ( defenselink.mil/Releases/ ) just once to see the names and ages of the brave young men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice for their country.' Better yet, turn off the gossip channels on the TV and Internet and write a letter or send a care package to the troops to let them know they're not forgotten. God Bless you, Dr. Laura, for all you do for our troops.' I too am a Proud Mother of an American Soldier...Hoo-ah!" I believe that a civilization is measured in great part by what it chooses to honor. More >>

Tags: Military, Values
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Posted under Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconYou could tell who the "visitors" were in Portland this past weekend.' We were the only ones using umbrellas...Portlanders simply go on with their lives as if water were not draining from the sky.'''' It was a great trip.' I arrived Thursday and stayed at The Benson Hotel on Southwest Broadway.' Friday morning we drove to KATU-TV where I had a fun interview about "In My Never To Be Humble Opinion," my one woman show that we did on Friday and Saturday night at the lovely Newmark Theater at the Portland Center for the Performing Arts.'''''' After the television interview, I arrived at KEX AM 1190 for an unbelievably moving Native American ceremony performed by Marshall Tall Eagle and his wife and granddaughter.' They presented me with a "Mother's Medal of Honor," in recognition of my being "the proud mother of a deployed American paratrooper."' Marshall Tall Eagle's special status among the tribes gave him the power to assign an "Indian" name to a "civilian."' He told me he'd prayed about it and was told what name to use for me:' "Walks with Warriors."' No question that I loved getting that name!''''' After doing my radio program from the KEX studios, I went to'afternoon team Mark & Dave's studio to be interviewed about whatever came into their very hilarious minds.' They and their crew surprised me with a birthday apple pie lit up with candles...very, very appreciated.'''' I'd asked Mark & Dave to open my one woman show and what a terrific move that turned out to be -- they were unbelievable witty and charming andjump-started audience enthusiasm.'''' I've been all over the country with my show, and the Newmark had the best audio of all by far - no matter where you sat from the front row to the last seat in the second balcony, you could hear every word.' The audience was fun and responsive...which brought the best out of me.'''' Saturday morning I got up way too early because the kind people at "Nolita's" (Pearl District) opened their shop up early so that I might take advantage of their cool styles and the luxury of a sale complete with no sales tax.' Don't ask how much I spent...their things were adorable.' Next stop was "Jane's Vanity" for a selection of fabulous lingerie.' I particularly like camisoles to wear under blazers.'''' We had a great lunch at Jake's Famous Crawfish.' The sourdough bread and the crab cakes were amazing.'''' We all walked back to our hotels after lunch to nap - traveling and performing...eating and shopping... take a lot out of you!''''' Saturday night's crowd was as enthusiastic and energized as the night before - with both nights totally sold out.'''' One couple had changed their marriage plans a bit in order to make sure they made it to the Saturday show.' They moved the ceremony and reception earlier in the day and then drove to Portland to see the show...still wearing their wedding clothes!' I acknowledged them from the stage and gave them a wedding present I'd purchased the week before in response to their email informing me of their "new" plans.' Just adorable.'''' I loved Portland, the folks at KEX, and Portlanders in general.' They were all gracious, fun, positive and quite sensitive to the more serious issues I addressed' as well as open to having a good time. Thank you all for your hospitality.'''' Sunday morning I got up at 5 AM to be home by 11 AM so that I could go out with my sailboat racing crew to practice.' My husband then made the best hamburger and potato salad on any coast and I just put my feet up, petted Bebe while watching some touching true story about a college that lost its whole football team in a tragic plane crash.' I'm a sucker for sentimental stories - even more so when they're about real life.'''' We're looking at a number of new cities to go to with the one woman show.' I'm hoping to see many more of you soon! More >>

Tags: Charity, Dating, engagement, Morals, Ethics, Values, Regarding Dr. Laura, Values
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Posted under Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconEarlier this week, I got a call from a 36 year old woman who has been "shacking up" with her boyfriend for four years.' She wants to have children, but senses his ambivalence.' The answer I gave her applies to all the otherwise intelligent women who do this.You should move out and say "I've decided I've made a horrible mistake and the next time I'm living under the same roof as a man, I'm going to be his wife!"You don't demand anything.' You don't threaten anything. You act like a dignified woman, instead of an unpaid whore.' It's as simple as that.' A man who loves and respects a woman wouldn't treat you like that.When I asked this caller "What would you tell your son?" at first, she didn't understand that I was raising a hypothetical question about how she would explain this behavior to her "future" child.' She started to say, "Well, if you're both happy, and you're both-" and I immediately cut in and said she should not make babies.' If you're going to do that to your kid, don't have any.' If you're going to tell your daughter "...as long as you're happy and you're screwing your brains out every night with a guy who doesn't want to commit his life to you, it's all okay!" - we don't need any more parents like that.'That's why we have such chaos in our whole society - because you think "happy" at any one moment is the highest value.' I think honor, sacrifice, and commitment are a higher honor than taking your daily "happiness" temperature, because a man staying true to his wife, who has terminal colon cancer, instead of dating is not happy .' Is he happy ?' Then that can't be the highest quotient!If you want the world to deal on "happiness," then you have to understand that your man will leave you any day you don't make him happy, and will not honor you or any vow, because he doesn't have to!' You've already taught him that if you're "happy," that's the only thing that matters.I don't think firemen are happy to run into burning buildings.' I don't think they're "happy" doing that.' I don't think police are "happy" to surround a building where somebody says he's going to shoot everybody.' I don't think they lay awake in the morning and go "Gee, that makes me happy!"' They have honor and sacrifice and duty and commitment to something higher than "feeling good" in and of themselves.' Don't have children if you're going to teach them about "happiness."' We have enough chaos in our society because people are doing what they "feel" like when it has no meaning and no projection into the future.'If you teach your sons to screw girls if it makes them happy, and as long as she's smiling and you don't have to make any commitment, don't make babies.' We just don't need any more parents like you.' We just don't. More >>

Tags: Commitment, Family/Relationships - Children, Marriage, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Shacking Up, Shacking-Up, Social Issues
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Posted under Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconA recent essay in the New York Times (December 2, 2007) talked about the growing popularity of social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, and others where the word "friends" is used to describe email relationships with folks we barely know.' Humans are gregarious creatures and fare better belonging to networks of family, community, spiritual groups, clubs, and so forth - all of which are sustained through face-to-face contact.The bottom line is that the more time we spend online, the less time we spend having true relationships complete with challenges, vulnerability, risks and profundity.' These are not real-world relationships with depth.' These on-line relationships are shadows and facsimiles which ultimately amount to little more than casual, superficial experiences.One mother, Jene, who listens regularly to my radio program, sent me this letter her 21 year-old son wrote to Facebook.' I suggest you show this to all your children and read it twice yourself if you are hooked to on-line pseudo-friendships: "As a mother of two young adults, I've witnessed their obsessive involvement with the many electronic forms of communication that are all the rage in recent years...email, instant messaging, texting, and the several web-based social networks like Facebook and MySpace.' All are useful communication tools, but often counterproductive in really getting to know people. It came to my attention that my 21 year-old son took a bold step recently and closed down his Facebook account by writing a breaking-up letter and posting it as a good-bye.' When he shared it with me, I was touched, relieved, and very proud of his stand.' I asked him if I might share this with you.' His grin, soft laugh and nod of his head spoke volumes: 'Facebook, we need to have a DTR (defining the relationship) talk...It's not all your fault, it's mostly mine...This is the end of you and me, Facebook.' I'm leaving you because I have spent more time browsing your pages than I have been spending in the pages of The Good Book.' And I can't live like that anymore.' I've let you become a monster...you've taken too much of my time and my thoughts.' Maybe it's just my lack of self-control or discipline, but you're addictive to me.' I'm ashamed of the number of times I check you daily.' If I were able to grasp how much time I have spent swimming though your endless ocean of profiles, I would be able to bear the guilt. Here's why: because of your profiles, I've become lazy.' Because of you I found myself talking with person after person, asking them questions that I already knew the answers to.' On many levels I've substituted and even avoided personal interactions with people because of your artificial and superficial means of communication.' You have diluted my perception of true social interaction. You've made me a coward.' There's a difference between a Facebook friend and an actual friend.' Everyone knows the difference, but when one tries to reach across the barrier from Facebook friends to actual friends it just isn't the same. Facebook, you're not all bad.' You have your benefits.' I must admit, you allow me to network and keep in touch with people with whom I normally wouldn't have been able to...but at what cost?' Wasting time Facebooking people I'll never meet has distracted me from meeting the person sitting next to me in class, or has kept me from calling up and hanging out with an old friend because Facebooking is just as good?' I beg to differ. In some form or another, you've hindered my investment in the relationships with those genuine people hiding behind the idealistic profiles they've made of themselves.' Let's face it, I don't perceive myself in the same way someone else perceives me.' From now on, I only want to know people for whom they truly are; not for what you (Facebook) says they are.' I just can't trust you. 'This might seem radical, but I have to make up for lost time.' This hurts me just as much as it hurts you, but I have to take a stand.'Logging out for good, Kyle.'" I am so very impressed with Kyle's maturity and good sense. More >>

Tags: Eat Less-Move More, Exercise, Health, Internet-Media, Internet/Media, MySpace, Social Networking
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Posted under Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconI am amazed at the depth of commitment and compassion the listeners to my radio program have towards our United States soldiers and their families. Toward the end of 2007, I talked about the Congressional hearings on charity fraud particularly with respect to veteran's organizations and encouraged you to do your own research, not just for Operation Family Fund but for any charitable organization you were thinking of supporting. From the time of that commentary, Operation Family Fund has received over $120,000 in donations, and they're still coming in. Thank you for taking my favorite charity into your hearts, and helping the families of our brave men and women whose lives have been severely disrupted by the global war on terrorism. More >>

Tags: Charity, SAHM stay at home mom, Values
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Posted under Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconAs always, I LOVE being on the Larry King Show.' The original intent of my appearance last night was to promote the release of my New York Times bestseller, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage," in paperback,' but the fun thing about being with Larry is that he expands the experience by asking anything from politics to sex to celebrity nonsense to one's personal life, and so forth.' Last night was no exception.The Larry King producers have added a new dimension to the program - one I enjoyed tremendously: the "man" on the street short video questions.' My favorite was a young man asking about his girlfriend's determination to have him take money from her father.' He wanted to know if his inclination to not do so was out of line.' I instantly heralded him as a "real man," and suggested he dump this "daddy's girl" for a real woman.'Just prior to my appearance on the show, Arianna Huffington (great hair, by the way) was included in a panel of political pundits.' After she left, I noticed she had forgotten her Blackberry and compact.' I called to her and she was most grateful and gracious, acknowledging that she "owed me one."' I sincerely hope she remembers that the next time she mentions me in her blog.All-in-all a great experience, and you can read the transcript from the program by clicking here .'''' Oh yeah...do you like my new hair-do?' Takes me - brace yourselves - only 10 minutes from shower to coif! More >>

Tags: adoption, Marriage, Parenting
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