My, my, my.' My comments last week on why many men stray from their marriage vows generated more email to me than any one thing I've said in years.' 85% of the letters I received were wonderfully appreciative and supportive of what I said.' Men and women alike "got" what I was saying and acknowledged the need for husbands and wives to share the responsibility for the health of their marriages.'One wrote "After seeing you on The Today Show, I asked myself, 'Am I the kind of wife my husband wants to come home to?'' I look at each day as an opportunity to honor him.' Thank you for challenging me to have the courage to change.' My husband will never go a day without knowing his wife needs, loves and respects him." Another person emailed me because my comments motivated her to look at her own issues with the overall concept of personal responsibility.' This young woman wrote that she was motivated by my comments to stop her methamphetamine addiction: "I have chosen to quit.' Once you stop feeling like such a victim to some inanimate object (the pipe does not jump into your mouth on its own) you realize your power over it." Other folks, though, seemed absolutely apoplectic over my point of view that people need to take responsibility for their lives and their relationships.'Clearly this is the crux of the problem in this country.' The concept of promoting personal responsibility in a society that encourages victims to stay victims and glamorizes the bad behavior of celebrities and politicians seems to be a hot button that makes some folks' heads explode.' People tend to hold on to their anger, hurt and depression, especially if they don't have the tools they need to break out of the cycle of personal self-destruction.That's why I wrote Stop Whining, Start Living .' I wrote it because I wanted to help people enjoy their lives more and be more content inside themselves.' None of us can do that if we persist in the self-defeating notion that we are victims... that only leads to complaining and not LIVING.This book is not for people who want to embrace their problems - it's for people who want to solve them and move on to a more productive and happy life.' If you want to feel more in control of your situations in families, neighborhoods, jobs, etc., then you first have to look inside yourself and see what YOU are doing that you shouldn't be... or what you are NOT doing that you should be!' This is where the power to change everything comes in.Some people won't ever do this.' They hold on to sadness, victimhood and complaints.' But those who read Stop Whining with an open heart and mind will find the keys - through other people's real experiences and stories - to make their life easier and more pleasurable; to improve their lives as husbands, wives, parents, and friends, and to discover the joy of being an evolved human being.Getting letters and calls from people who have taken my advice to stop whining and turn themselves into productive members of society is all the inspiration I need to keep on keeping on.' That's what puts the smile on my face. Book signing tonight in Costa Mesa, California: And if you want to see me really smile and you live in L.A. or Orange County, come on down tonight to the Barnes and Noble at the Metro Pointe Mall in Costa Mesa at 7pm.' I'll be signing copies of the aforementioned new book, Stop Whining, Start Living for all of you who embrace your own personal responsibility. More >>

Recently, a committee of the Vermont State Senate approved Democratic Senator Hinda Miller's bill to have a task force weigh the pros and cons of lowering the legal age of drinking, back to 18.' The logic behind this is similar to the concept of having your underage kids have sex in your home.' Parents think that "they're going to do it anyway, so we might as well make it comfortable and convenient for them!"On the other side, Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) calls this "folly to even consider."' They say that the higher age limit has saved thousands of lives since the National Minimum Drinking Age Act was passed in 1984.' The act required states to raise the drinking age to 21 or risk losing federal transportation funding.Vermont voted to raise the age in 1985, and, according to the Vermont State Police, there's been a 40 percent decrease in alcohol-related fatalities in the last 20 years.' Vermont stands to lose about $17 million per year in highway funding if they flout the Feds and lower the drinking age. "The facts speak for themselves," said William Goggins, Director of Education and Enforcement for the state Liquor Control Board. "To me, saving lives is the grandest argument of all." Obviously, this argument is not good enough for some Democrats in Vermont. More >>

It's been all over the news.' A "nanny-cam" in the home of two twin preemies showed the nanny handling the children like trash bags.' I mean, if you know it's going to be shown on Nancy Grace's television program, it has to be bad!The single most important issue, however, was never addressed.' Where were their parents?' These delicate babies were in the hands of hired help and not their own parents.' Nowhere in the news pieces did anyone suggest that these parents had to work or risk being homeless.' Quite the contrary.There are babies who have been forgotten, neglected, and abused in day-care centers.' Now, nannies are doing the same in the parents' home.' Parents themselves are forgetting their own children in cars, which literally causes the children to be poached to death.' When will the tide turn back to parents making their children their number one priority, and moving their dual careers or owning "things" to a lower spot on their list?' Until then, more horrifying stories are sure to come. More >>

May your blessings outnumberThe shamrocks that grow,And may trouble avoid youWherever you go.'''''''''''''''' -- Irish blessingHappy St. Patrick's Day! More >>

About two months ago, my publisher, Harper Collins, called me up to tell me that The Today Show wanted to interview me in the 8AM hour on Tuesday, March 11, the day that my new book, Stop Whining, Start Living was going to be published.' I said, "Great!"Last week, I did the "pre-interview" with one of their producers, and they called me back to say they wanted to have my interview go for two segments.' I said "Even better!"Then, at 4PM on Monday, March 10, they called up and asked if I would also participate in a "panel" segment entitled "Why Men Cheat."' I went "uh oh."I hate doing panels.' I hate all the talking heads shouting over each other.' And I feared they would end up asking about tabloid gossip and not the real topic, but they reaffirmed that they really wanted to hear my opinion about "Why Men Cheat."So, silly me, on I went.' Meredith Vieira asked the three panelists, "Why do men cheat?"' Panelist' #1 said that the legacy of promiscuous cavemen has created an evolutionary tendency toward infidelity among today's men.'' Hmmm.Panelist #2 said something to the effect that men often cheat because they are missing something physically, mentally or emotionally in their relationship with someone.' Who might be responsible for this missing "something" was not specifically mentioned.' Hmm....could it be the wife?' The boss?' Co-workers?So Panelist #3 (that's me) responded: "Men need validation.' When they come into the world they are born of women and getting their validation from mommy is the beginning of needing it from a woman.' And when the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like a hero, he's very susceptible to the charms of some other woman making him feel what he needs.' And these days women don't spend a lot of time thinking about how they can give a man what they need." Maybe I should have had a sign around my neck that said I was not talking specifically about the governor of New York's current alleged problems with money transfers and a $5,000 an hour call-girl ring.' Certainly a man who won the governorship of the second largest state in the nation does not sound like a man who needs validation to feel like a success.' I was answering the question asked:' "Why do men cheat?"Suddenly, the topic WAS about the New York governor.' To my utter amazement, Panelist #1 proclaimed that the New York governor's high cheekbones and protuberant eyebrows indicated high levels of testosterone which would be a strong indicator of infidelity.Panelist #2 said that, speaking of testosterone, highly testosteroned people tend not to worry as much about the consequences of the risks they take.' (I guess that explains the use of steroids in baseball).Ms. Vieira then asked why a man of such power as the New York governor would risk everything to carry on a tawdry relationship.' Note: This was the first time that Ms. Vieira referred to the governor in any way in the entire segment.' Panelist #3 (that's me!) responded: "When a person is in a high position of power, especially a man, there is a sense of entitlement and a sense of being...above the law because of the importance of what they do -' because of the importance of who they are." Since that fleeting moment, I have been accused of the most heinous of crimes (apparently far worse than the foibles of politicians and celebrities):' giving my opinion and advice. According to The New York Times, Meredith Vieira was "aghast" at my comments.' In the 10 am hour, Ann Curry tried to take me to task for "things that were said about the governor."' Wrong!' And finally the renowned News Team at The Huffington Post proclaimed "Dr. Laura Blames Spitzer's Wife".In three segments over 2 hours I never made a comment about the Governor's wife.' And my only direct comment about the Governor was that powerful men sometimes feel an unwarranted sense of entitlement.' I answered the question they asked, not the question I've been accused of answering.Now here's the good news.' Thank goodness I had bought a new outfit for the program, and I was feeling pretty good yesterday morning, or else I might have gotten a little ticked off that my words were so ludicrously taken out of context.If you don't believe me, feel free to go to the videotape ( click here ).' And don't whine for me.' I'm having a great time in New York - good friends, good restaurants, and almost-Spring weather.On a more serious note:' The stories that we see on the news and the Internet 24/7 indicate an epidemic of dysfunctionality in America in the relationships of the powerful, talented, and merely famous.' The sad part is it is only the tip of the iceberg in our society.' And sadder still is knowing that so many children are being hurt by these problems. More >>

Two weeks ago, Sgt. Wayne Leyde won $1 million from a scratch-and-win lotto ticket.' ABC News reported that he was driving near his home in Mead, Washington when he stopped at a store by the side of the road and bought a ticket, a Coke, and beef jerky.' Using a penny lent to him by the store clerk to scratch his card, he discovered his winnings.As a 26 year old member of the Washington National Guard who has completed two tours in Iraq, the obvious question was:' "Whaddya gonna do now?"' His answer was:' "It was a commitment I made...and I'm going to stick to it."' He plans to return to Iraq to service with his band of brothers. "For right now, I'm going to hold off [spending] and let reality sink back to earth.' This is a true blessing.' I'm going to turn it around and see if I can bless other people with this," Leyde said.A parent emailed me just the other day to tell me what her six year old said in response to overhearing her talking to her husband about how little the military is paid for their extraordinary service.' The child piped up with, "They don't get paid, because you can't pay people to be heroes.' They just are." Meet Sgt. Wayne Leyde:' an American hero. More >>

The Thursday morning press conference with Senator John McCain started with him stating that the attack on the military recruiting station in Times Square was "unacceptable."' I hear many leaders and spokespersons use that relatively limp term, "unacceptable," and I'm sick of it.' At least President George W. Bush has called 9/11 types and actions for what they are:' evil!There are churchgoers in Kansas who go all over the country attempting to disrupt funerals of our fallen military with disgusting signs that suggest that these children of America died because there are homosexuals among us.' There are cities like Berkeley, that spend their time changing local laws to allow protestors to interfere with local military recruiting stations, followed up by "You are not welcome" notices.'If all those who volunteered honorably and bravely for our military decided all those folks were right, and then laid down their weapons and came home, then what?' Who would protect us against an imminent invasion by Venezuela?' North Korea?' Russia?' China?' The world-wide Muslim jihad?' Would the Kansas churchgoers protect us?' The city council of Berkeley?I have two magnetized bumper stickers on my car.' Both are yellow ribbons.' One says "Protect our son," and the other just says "Army."' At the mall this past weekend, both were ripped in half and dumped on the roof of my car.' My deepest regret is that these people did not wait around to destroy my symbols of respect and motherly concern for all the troops, including my son in combat in Afghanistan, while I was there.' Trust me, just saying limply, "That is unacceptable" would not have been the action I'd have taken.I feel sorry for all of those whose military-age sons and daughters have not volunteered for military service, but instead hook up and smoke dope in most of our quite liberal colleges and universities instead of learning the values of life and death, honor, sacrifice, courage, brother/sisterhood, and compassion.To whomever defaced my representations of support for America's finest, I have this to say to you:' in spite of your disgusting, ignorant, cowardly self, my son and his band of brothers would still protect you. More >>

Good, honest, hardheaded character is a function of the home.' If the proper seed is sown there and properly nourished for a few years, it will not be easy for that plant to be uprooted. -- George A. Dorsey, anthropologist More >>

Reuters' Julie Steenhuysen wrote a news essay recently which was a real shocker.' She quoted Janis Wolak of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire in Durham: A lot of the characterizations that you see in Internet safety information suggest that sex offenders are targeting very young children and using violence and deception against their victims.... Especially since social networking sites became popular, people are suggesting that these offenders are using information to stalk and abduct their victims.' We are not seeing those types of cases.' The great majority of cases we have seen involved young teenagers, mostly 13, 14, 15 year old girls who are targeted by adults on the Internet who are straightforward about being interested in sex. From the perspective of the victim, these are romances. Among the study's other findings:* Internet offenders pretended to be teenagers in only 5% of the crimes studied.* Nearly 75% of victims who met offenders did so more than once.* Youths at risk have "buddy lists" including strangers, and they discuss sex online with strangers.* Boys who are gay or questioning their sexuality are more susceptible to Internet-initiated sex crimes than other populations, resulting in 15% of criminal cases.Other than religious institutions, there is virtually nothing in our society that elevates sexuality to a spiritual status.' This is the result of a society which takes kids out of school (without parental notification) for abortions; which has peer sex classes showing how to put condoms on bananas; which has "sex fairs" at major colleges and universities; which has porn as mainstream, primetime television and advertising; which has practically naked models in store windows for Abercrombie & Fitch and Victoria's Secret; which has families repeatedly torn apart by busy, "two parent career" homes, divorce, re-marriage, shack-ups, and other adult misbehaviors that emotionally devastate children who look elsewhere for love and comfort.'What is normalized is yearned for by children who want to be "adults." More >>

Last Thursday, I posted a blog about "passing the trash," a practice known within the educational system in which teachers who've allegedly engaged in sexual misconduct with a student resign and leave their school districts in exchange for confidentiality about their behavior.' I received many comments about that story, but this is one I want to share with you.' I've kept the writer's name confidential: Dr. Laura, as a former administrator of a small school district, let me tell you who the real villains are in these cases.' No school administration will admit it, but it's the teacher's union.' It's like going up against the mob, to come against one of their members.' And they don't care if their member is guilty or not.' They will use every tactic in the book to intimidate you into dropping your complaint.' Any time an administration tries to discipline teachers or even look into a complaint, the union is there fighting the administration.' They file lawsuits and nit pick at your procedures.' The teachers have free counsel and unlimited representation, covered by their dues.' Just to inquire into a complaint, the school [incurs] a great deal of cost, precious money that has to be taken from some other program or someone else's pocket. These types of complaints are the duty of the school board, and school boards are made up of volunteers - they don't get paid, but they can get sued, and must defend themselves with their own money.' It is a fight to correct an untenured teacher, and in fact, there is no way to fire or discipline a tenured one. We had a horrid teacher (and many complaints), and we tried everything under the sun to get him away from kids.' He had his ego stroked by being mean to kids.' We tried to pay him off and offer him early retirement, but he wouldn't go.' We were a small district with limited funds.' Eventually, the school had to close, and the man finally lost his job.' And no one around would hire him.' Our teacher was not a molester, but he was a "demeaner" - he enjoyed insulting kids. Although I do not agree with what these schools have done, I am not surprised.' If you have no proof that would hold up in court and kids who don't want to officially testify, but you know in your heart that this person has done these things, the teacher's union will spread [the word] that your school district is being very unfair to the teachers, and...will turn the hearing into a circus.' As parents and board members, you will do whatever it takes to get them out of your school - and hopefully, away from kids. More >>