02/24/2009
You're Not Being Fair!
I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger and welcome to the Dr. Laura Channel. And I'm so appreciative that you parents see us as a source of information for dealing with your kids and technology. You know, kids have always been, let's just say, stubborn, recalcitrant and want to make their own choices when they're too young to understand all the ramifications. So how do you deal with some of this? Well, here's one question:
&'For our 14 year old girl, we set a rule that during Monday to Thursday of a school week, the internet is only to be used for school work activity. We set up a filter to monitor her activity and told her that we did that. Yet, she violated the rules more than once. We suspended all of her activity for a few days. She violates again, we increase the punishment duration and she violates again. We took away the internet and monitored her for 24/7 for 6 months. Now after doing well for a few months, she's at it again. We explain that actions have consequences but it doesn't seem to be working. What are we doing wrong? Her explanation at one time was, "It's not fair." But after a while she says she knows it was wrong and is sorry. However, it repeats again.&
This is one of the rare times I'm going to agree with the kid. [laughs] That's not really fair. You know, it's like in the old days when you could be on the telephone during the school week for a half an hour. Well the same thing holds now, even though we're talking about internet. During the week, you can be on the internet, talking to your friends or looking up stuff?you know, you put the filters on them so that they can't go to inappropriate places?for a half an hour a night. I think it's unreasonable to say &'zippo& . It invites cheating.
Yes, she should obey everything you say, but in the real world I think a little compromise is better because it teaches a child. It's like eating two cookies, not a thousand. If you tell a kid, &'You can't have any,& then they tend to gorge. If you tell them, &'Okay. Let's have two cookies a night as a treat,& then that'll probably be the maximum and they won't be tempted to do more. And you want to teach your kids moderation. So you can tell them, &'Up to a half an hour.& If you want to do five minutes, that's good. If you want to do 28 minutes, that's good. If you want to do 15 minutes, that's good?you have a half an hour tonight to be on the internet, on a school night. You're not going to get the stress and strain. So, sometimes, you parents are just not being fair. I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. If you still want to listen to me [laughs] tune in to my next YouTube video. Oh, I know I've got the kids now.
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02/17/2009
Say "No" to Day Orphanages
Hi, I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. You've heard me many times, and probably many of you have gotten annoyed hearing this, that I call child care centers sort of day orphanages. Well, why do I do that? I guess I've never been convinced that hired help was equal to, much less superior to, the loving attention and nurturing from a mommy and/or a daddy. So I want you to hear this from a child care worker.
"Hi, Dr. Laura. I don't get to listen to you very often [jokingly sobs] because I work at a child care center during the days you are on the air. I just want to let your listeners know there is no replacement for mom and dad. No other person will treat, nurture, guide or give your moral values to your children better than yourselves.
I had to get a job, so I chose to work at a child care center. My lunch break was to pick up my children from school and bring them back with me. I still raised my children. Remember most or a lot of the child care workers are young with no children and no experience. We certainly don't get paid much either. I'm not saying they don't care for your child, but NO ONE can do it like mom or dad. Please get a smaller house, a less expensive car or just tone things down, so a PARENT can stay home and raise their children.
Thank you so much for always being on target (oh, you think I'm always on target? [smiles]) with your 'Never To Be Humble' opinion. From Pam, who loves her three children."
We've heard a lot about how women are entitled to their opportunities and their power. And they should not be held back by children hanging on to their ankles while they are trying to run up the stairs of a career and self-actualization. I've been on both sides of everything now. And, I have to say, the reason I start my program each and every day with "I am my kid's mom", is that, even though he's going to be 23 soon and he's in the military and can shoot 40 bullets through the same hole at 300 meters, the most important thing I've ever done is raise him and be his mommy. And I have degrees and awards and this wonderful program where I get to try to brainwash you into doing the right thing for your family. And remember, when you die your legacy, your memory is not in your CV, it's not in your bank account, it's in the people who tell the wonderful stories about you because you meant so much, because you were actually there.
I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Now go do the right thing.
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02/10/2009
Putting On Dr. Laura's Face
Dr. Laura: Hi-ya! I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger and welcome to the Dr. Laura YouTube channel. I'm introducing you, from time to time, to people who help me look and do my best. And one of the most important people in the world to me is Courtney Boyle, who does my makeup. And I thought, today, it would be interesting to find out what the limitations of my face are and how she maximizes them so I look so &'cute& . First of all, tell them how we met.
Courtney: It's a funny story, how we met. It was actually by accident. I was working at Saks Fifth Avenue at the time and Dr. Laura was in Orange County, where I'm based out of, and she needed a makeup artist &'today,& in about an hour.
Dr. Laura: For my One Woman Show.
Courtney: Exactly, exactly. And I overheard the conversation and the makeup artist they were going to send?it was not going to work out.
Dr. Laura: Why?
Courtney: She was a little bit of an introvert and a little bit defensive. And I knew Doc?I knew what her personality was like, and I knew that that was not going to work out. And I knew that I was much more appropriate for Dr. Laura's personality. So I insisted I be the makeup artist they send. And it worked out. It was a one-time job and we've been together for about two and a half years, almost three years.
Dr. Laura: It was instant.
Courtney: It was.
Dr. Laura: I know what charmed me?as I'm looking up at you, I see your skin looks beautiful, and you had a smart-alecky personality. And I enjoy that! The one thing I don't like is everybody sort of drooling over me. I like realistic feedback. Okay, so here's my face [raises her chin and moves her head side to side].
Courtney: Okay?
Dr. Laura: I can tell you all the things wrong with it. [jokingly sobs] My eyes are too close together, I'm missing half an eyebrow, my jaw is wide?
Courtney: These are called unique features. There is nothing wrong. It is what makes you, you. One thing I do want to tell you about is Dr. Laura's eyes. She has the most beautiful, sparkly eyes. Look at them. They're perfect almonds. They are a little bit close together, so what we want to do is?
Dr. Laura: Like a cuff link.
Courtney: Sort of. What we want to do is create the illusion of spacing them out a little bit. So what we do with Dr. Laura's eyes is we focus darkness on the outer corner. When somebody looks at you, they're always going to see the darkest thing on your face. So if you make the outer corners of your eyes darkest, when they look at you they'll see up and out. So what we do with Dr. Laura's eyes is we focus the dark color right on the outer corner. We also bring the angle up just a little bit. A great guideline for you is to imagine a line from the corner of your nose to the corner of your eye. If you follow that guideline, and bring your eye makeup up and out, you're going to have an instantly uplifted eye.
Dr. Laura: And you'll look like you've slept through the night.
Courtney: Exactly; exactly. And it's not changing your eye, it's just creating the illusion of a wider, brighter eye. So we're always going to keep it light, right on the inside, on the tear duct of the eye. Keep it light and bright, that gives the illusion of just a brighter white of your eye and a brighter iris. And the darker color is just on the outside with a little bit of an up-tilt forward.
Another great rule for you if you are a little bit dark under your eyes, which happens every once in a while when we have a long weekend -- keep the mascara only on the top. Again, it's a dark color and it's just going to instantly lift the eye.
Dr. Laura: Ah! So I look like I have slept through the night.
Courtney: Absolutely.
Dr. Laura: Even though they're working my butt.
Courtney: Yes, yes. So usually, by the One Woman Show, mascara on the top only.
[both laugh]
Dr. Laura: And, what about the wide jaw? Is that a bad thing? A good thing? The cheek bones? And I don't have the most voluptuous lips, and they aren't filled with Restylane or whatever the heck people put in them now.
Courtney: No. They're perfectly natural and beautiful. And the wide jaw I love because it's what makes this face so, just adorable [grabs Dr. Laura's jaw and squeezes] just these little cheeks and that jaw is so cute. But one thing we can do, just to balance the face a little bit, is bring the blush on the inside, right on the apples of the cheeks and blend it directly outwards. We're not going to go up; it's going to create too many angles. We already have an angle right here with her jaw [motions to the bottom jaw line] and if we go up too high on a high angle, like we used to do in the 80's with a little check mark right here [motions to the temple area of the face] its going to create another harsh angle on the face. So apply your blush just--
Dr. Laura: Which would make me look what?
Courtney: A little too angular.
Dr. Laura: Why is that bad?
Courtney: It's harsh. You don't want to have too many hard angles on the face.
Dr. Laura: No.
Courtney: So we want to soften the face and blush is a great way to soften. So just on the apples and just direct it exactly out.
Dr. Laura: What do you know about the 80's? When were you born?
Courtney:In the 80's.
Dr. Laura: You were three years old and you knew this?
Courtney: [laughs] I know about everything.
Dr. Laura: Yeah, okay. She believes that; yes.
Courtney: I think I know about everything.
Dr. Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the very pale skin?
Courtney: The very pale skin?bronzer is your best friend. Everyone should use a bronzer. Doc needs it; I need it; you need it. I don't care what color your skin is, you need a bronzer. It's going to give you that instant sun-kissed look. You just need it to brighten your skin. And one trick that I do is, bring your bronzer down to your neckline [motions from chin, down neck]. However low that is, the bronzer needs to go there. You don't want a bronzy, golden face and a pale, pink chest.
Dr. Laura: Looks a little obvious?
Courtney: So just carry the bronzer down. Yeah.
Dr. Laura: Okay. Any other problems you have with me?
Courtney: Not about makeup. No, I'm only kidding.
Dr. Laura: [laughs heartily]
Courtney: I'm only kidding, I love you.
Dr. Laura: I love you too.
Courtney: And we don't have only one problem, we have unique features.
Dr. Laura: Yes, we do.
Courtney: It's what makes you, you.
Dr. Laura: Yes.
Courtney: And your face wouldn't be so cute without it.
Dr. Laura: Oh [sniffs].
Courtney: See why she loves me?
Dr. Laura:Yeah. I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Welcome and thank you for visiting our YouTube channel. Tune in again. You never know who or what you're going to see.
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02/03/2009
Cleaning Up My Dirty Sweaty, Hubby
Hi, I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Welcome to the Dr. Laura YouTube channel, where you get to ask me some questions. This is a vivid question...I want you to picture it as I read it.
Dr. Laura, my husband is a good man but there is one issue that I am having trouble with. He loves to work outside; we have 32 acres of woods and yard. When he comes inside all sweaty and dirty, he will not take off his dirt filled shoes, nor his very stinky clothes. He proceeds to sit in his recliner and leaves the carpet full of debris from his dirty shoes. I am constantly vacuuming and spraying Febreze on his chair. (We got a little ad in there, I guess.) I have asked him, ever so kindly, to please at least take off his shoes, but I have gotten nowhere. He is very picky about how our yard looks and the exterior of our home, but when it comes to the interior - that's another story. What can I say to him (remember that...what can I say to him) that would help him realize that the dirty shoes and clothes are making a lot of extra work, not to mention the soiled and stinky recliner. Thank you.
-Janet
Most of the time, I don't give advice on what to say, I give advice on what to do because doing is infinitely more powerful. Now you wonder why a grown man, intelligent, reasonable, decent, wonderful guy, terrific husband works 32 acres of backyard and then walks in with dirt about. And I always think, "Now what could the message be?" You see, because I think behavior is a message. I think he's probably walking in there, all dirty, because he wants you to notice him and how much work he's doing, and acknowledge it and give him "huzzahs" for it. Men like that! They like to be thanked for all their efforts. Now you're saying "he" likes working outside. So maybe you're thinking, "well, because 'he' likes it..." that he's not really doing something for you. Well, it's our property and this is one of the ways men take care of their women. They take care of the property. He sees "inside the house" as yours.
So my recommendation: I like the Febreze thing, but he comes in all dirty and sweaty. I think this is the time for you to say, "Honey, lets take a shower together and then we'll cuddle together on your recliner." I have a feeling you will have the cleanest husband west of the Pecos...if I only knew where the Pecos was. I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Thank you for visiting our YouTube channel. See you next time.
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