The Beauty Of Discipline
Homebodies
By Cheryl Gochnauer
#147;Don#146;t make me come in there!#148;
Then they do.
Now comes the choice: Will we angrily punish our child for their behavior, or will we take advantage of this chance to do something that really is for their own good?
There#146;s a big difference between punishment and discipline. Punishment springs out of fury, demanding revenge for a wrong act. The main goal of discipline, on the other hand, is to redirect unacceptable behavior. Or to put it a different way, punishment focuses on a bad person while discipline focuses on a bad act.
#147;One of my burdens is for the many moms who look at these opportunities and don't see them as such,#148; says Donna, a Virginia SAHM with two daughters. #147;They cringe as they view the situation as another time for punishment rather than a wonderful opportunity for loving correction - an opportunity for shaping and molding, for helping (their children) become more beautiful inside and out.#148;
Resist the anger that so naturally builds as kids push (and sometimes obliterate) the boundaries you set for them. #147;We have a part to play in not just changing their behavior but in finding the root, getting to their heart, and in essence, effecting their lives for good,#148; Donna notes.
The groundwork for effective discipline is laid during the times when things are running smoothly. #147;Obviously, relationship is key here,#148; she says. #147;You can't have a good conversation without first spending time listening to your kids, enjoying who they are. Then comes the time to talk to them.#148;
When you do sit down with them, don#146;t be afraid to be transparent about your own struggles, especially in the same areas your kids are wrestling with now. #147;Trust is extended as we are honest, sharing with them our own faults, failures and things we've learned.#148;
Weave gentle discipline throughout each day. #147;I have had many opportunities, especially about 10:00 at night, to come alongside and talk about the heart that motivates the deed,#148; Donna notes. #147;I love those teachable moments.#148;
Comments? Write Cheryl or Donna at
Cheryl@homebodies.org
, or visit
www.homebodies.org
, where you can share your thoughts on discipline and other subjects with other parents on the active messageboards. Copyright 2004 Cheryl Gochnauer. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
