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Personal Responsibility
05/13/2010
Icon"I love your show, but it makes me CRAZY when you subscribe to the double standard that men get a pass on being sexually cavalier but women are to be thoroughly and soundly condemned.' Why, oh why, don't you condemn the men as much as the women?' Why aren't they just as 'piggy' and deserving of condemnation?' That societal attitude encourages men to attempt to use women sexually as their birthright and also encourages women to be insecure and distrustful of sex in general.' You're putting a sexual burka on women overall with that attitude. I'm not advocating casual sex.' I'm condemning the acceptance of a double standard.' Come on!' There are two sides of that coin and each should assume major responsibility for engaging in casual sex.' Until the act is equally condemned, how can women take those rules seriously?" This is a recent email from a listener taking me to task for what she perceives is a sort of anti-female, double standard mentality.'First of all, God and nature are responsible for the reality of a double standard.' Women have breasts from which to suckle the baby born from their uterus after a nine month gestation.' Women's high-pitched voices and hearing are geared for the infant-mother bonding that miraculously takes place right after birth.' Women's temperaments to nurture, cuddle, coo, and protect are hardwired into their psychological programming.' Women are different from men.There is no question that men more easily dissociate love and sex.' Young males in particular are open to sexual experiences for the challenge, orgasmic satisfaction, and status among other males.' These qualities are not synonymous with femininity.Women give themselves sexually to men out of love, a desperate desire to be wanted and loved, or for money.' It is not typical, as it is with men, for a woman to feel proud of the number of men who have penetrated her; and the only women who look for the sexual challenge are those so twisted with anti-male rage that domination of a male is a form of psychological rape which satisfies that neurotic anger.Males are generally out of control every which way until they fall in love and take on the obligations and responsibilities of a man committed to a woman and family.' All the research demonstrates that men who are married make more money, are healthier and happier, and function better socially than "loner" men.' In fact, the deranged males who perpetrate horrendous acts of violence are generally such loner males with no families to make them feel important, give them purpose and direction...and love.Women are the taming and socializing force in society.' Men will only do what women allow.' Remember the ancient Greek classical play "Lysistrata" ?' The women in the town refused to have sex if their men continued to participate in war and violence.' Poof, all the violence stopped.' Women have always had the power over men; but feminism got women off the track of realizing that, and on the track to only hating or disdaining men.Now, women have largely become "pigs."' Instead of embracing modesty, pride, values, and self-value, they parade around showing their bodies like Playboy bunnies, have sex before "hello," shack up with men without marital commitment, make babies on their own (declaring that men/fathers aren't necessary), use abortion as birth control, and don't imagine feminine sweetness has any place in marriage and are bored with sex with their husbands but turn on to every other Tom, Dick, and Harry.' That is why men have little respect for women these days. More >>

Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceCommitmentFeminismPersonal ResponsibilitySexSexualitySocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconA Connecticut state lawmaker is proposing legislation that would bar schools from punishing students for their electronic insults - even if they write them on class computers during school hours.This idiocy is in response to the punishment meted out to Avery Doninger, a 17 year old high-schooler who was disciplined in 2007 for writing a blog from home using vulgar language to defame and insult school administrators.School authorities barred her from running for office at Lewis B. Mills High School in Burlington as a "punishment."Her parents - of course-- are suing!I can't believe I heard the whole thing.On FoxNews.com, almost 100 people put in their two cents; the following was the most cogent of the bunch: "'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.'' As far as I can tell, Congress did not impede on her freedom of speech. The child needs to learn that while she is free to say whatever she feels, there are repercussions to the things we say." And there it is.' You have the freedom so say whatever you'd like - without any consequences?' I think not.Colleges and employers have recourse to Internet records and can judge students by the electronic trail they've left behind, according to Tom Hutton, senior staff attorney for the NSBA (National School Board Association).' Well, let that be a lesson to adolescents who feel bigger than their britches with this pending legislation!The girl's mother "wished her daughter 'had used more sophisticated language.'" Instead of standing by the school punishment to teach her daughter the consequences of not thinking behavior through in advance of indelible actions, she's making it a cause for free speech.'Oh please.' It's another one of those cases of parents defending their children right or wrong because they don't want any criticism or don't want to risk their children's ire by punishing them for wrong- or stupid-doings.'Imagine if the teacher had put on a website that this girl was a "douche bag."' Would anyone defend the teacher or would he or she have to take sensitivity classes and then be fired anyway?We are getting way too far in "The Lord of the Flies" for my tastes. More >>

Tags: AbuseChild AbuseEducationFamily/Relationships - TeensPersonal ResponsibilityPolitical CorrectnessSchoolSocial IssuesTeensValues
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05/13/2010
IconI was enthralled when on a vacation trip with my husband and then adolescent son, we visited the actual homes of the Anasazi Indians.' The drive through Arizona was amazing, but climbing the sheer cliffs of the Anasazi dwellings was astonishing.' They actually lived, with newborns and toddlers, in completely open 5-6 foot indentations in the rock with some six feet between where they slept and ate and played....from a drop of at least 1000 feet.' I honestly don't know how many kids fell to their untimely deaths - but I guess that was a very rare occurrence as these folks lived there successfully for centuries.Contrast this to some irresponsible and outrageous parents living upstairs in a duplex in Oregon.' A toddler fell out of the window and injured her head.' Never mind that the mother had left this child alone with an open window...she sued the landlord.' To add stupid to absurd, the jury found for...the mother... to the tune of $560,000!The company plans to appeal...I sure hope they succeed.' The jurors actually held the landlord responsible for not telling the parents about the danger of open windows....DUH?I guess a primitive tribe of Indians has better sense than an educated, middle class woman living in a duplex with indoor plumbing.But what is with that silly jury?' I'll tell you: it is part of the growing infantilization of American culture: be responsible for nothing...make somebody else responsible!' This is a moral decline which will have more and more negative impact on America, which is no longer a "bootstraps" kinda culture...it has become a "bailout" kinda culture.Then again...remember Flip Wilson's famous signature line:' "The devil made me do it!"'' Which is why I'm not responsible for these comments if you're offended. More >>

Tags: dietEat Less-Move MoreHealthParentingPersonal ResponsibilityQuote of the Week
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05/13/2010
IconIt pains me to state the obvious.' I hate to remind people to ignore the unimportant.' I often find myself asking, why do people obsess about idiots who are doing the wrong thing?' But unfortunately the idiots seem not only to stick around, but the stupider they get, the more the media wants to talk about them.'And then they do something really dumb and I get really ticked off.'The octuplet lady... Let's call her Ms. Mommy, because there is no Mr. Mommy in sight... is back in the news because, while she insists that she won't take government money to help support her self-centered decision to have her own private herd of toddlers, she will take Mastercard and Visa -- from YOU!'Yes -- this mommy of 14 has launched a website soliciting donations to help her feed, diaper and toilet train these beautiful little gifts from God who, in reality, are now legally the chattel of the most narcissistic mother alive.' So, if you want to make sure they get their Gerber's, you better pull out your wallet because begging for help from strangers appears to be this woman's new career path.'Now, it would be nice if I could at least say that Ms. Mommy learned HTML programming so she could make her own website.' Then, at least, she would have a skill that she could use (at home) and make some legitimate coin while the kidlets are sleeping.' But no, Ms Mommy's got some Hollywood public relations firm to design and put up the site, complete with links to PayPal in order to slurp your money faster.''So is the money raised for the kidlets going to pay the PR firm for their web design?' Well, FoxNews says "The website was created by the Killeen Furtney Group, a Los Angeles-based public relations and marketing firm retained by the mother following the birth of her six boys and two girls. Her publicist, Joann Killeen, declined to indicate how much had been donated thus far, but stressed that her firm designed the website for free." Pro bono?' More like Pro Promo.' Joann Killeen was a bit more honest and forthcoming just a week ago when she acted like the mommy of the moment resembled a cash cow.' The Los Angeles Daily News reported on February 3rd: "Ms. Mommy retained Los Angeles publicists Michael Furtney and Joann Killeen on Friday and since then, the agents said they had fielded dozens of interview requests and offers for book, film and television deals. But Killeen said this morning that offers have not yet been reviewed. Some media reports speculated that Ms. Mommy might be paid as much as $2 million for an interview. Killeen said today she believes people will be 'very impressed' when Ms. Mommy begins relating her tale, 'and we will work with our client to decide what's the best vehicle for her to tell the story.'" And all I keep thinking about is the 14 little children who desperately need a safe, secure home in order for them to achieve the American Dream while their mommy is whipping them around in her own personal nightmare.''Is there any good news here?' Well, apparently the Bimbo Mommy has decided no more kids.' In her maybe paid for, maybe not interview on The Today Show, she told Ann Curry the octuplets were a sign from God that she should stop having children. And according to the Associated Press, "she also said she'll support her family on student loans until she finishes her master's degree in a year or two and finds a job."'Well, I support her decision to NOT have any more kids and I'm just waiting for the website where I can donate money to have Ms. Mommy's tubes tied. More >>

Tags: EthicsFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMorals, Ethics, ValuesMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingPersonal ResponsibilityValues
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05/13/2010
IconKellogg's, the cereal and snack manufacturer, cancelled its lucrative sponsorship contract with Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps because he was caught on camera smoking marijuana last fall.' Apparently, all the other companies with similar contracts did not cancel their contracts with him.' However, USA Swimming, the sport's governing body, has suspended him from competition for three months.My point of view is "hurrah" to Kellogg's and USA Swimming team.' They are demonstrating to the children and young adults of America that the perks of fame are earned in an ongoing manner with not only the accomplishment (Gold Medals from the Olympics) but a continuous responsibility to represent the team, the sport, and personal character with honor.' Having consequences for bad judgment and stupid (as well as illegal) behaviors teaches children and young adults to think twice before sacrificing so much for so little. More >>

Tags: AddictionCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceMarijuanaPersonal ResponsibilityResponse To A CallSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconI am writing this blog on Nadya Suleman, octuplet mom, under duress.' I was told that a significant number of you wished for my point of view or comments on this occurrence.' My answer was, "Do I really have to comment on the obvious?"'I am disgusted with this woman for being educated in child developmental psychology and still intentionally robbing children of a dad (she had in-vitro fertilization with embryos from sperm donor) and the opportunity to get the kind of attention one out of fourteen children clearly won't get.I'm disgusted with the clinic and physicians who, knowing she already had six children and no husband or reasonable means of support (except for workman's comp lawsuits), and frankly, must be somewhat emotionally troubled, still impregnated her with multiple embryos -- more than the recommended number for a woman under the age of 35.I'm disgusted with the media for making a big deal about these freak situations without proper judgment and criticism and for starting programs for "freebee" bailouts with charitable support.I'm disgusted with Child Protective Services which I don't think has even considered taking these children away from this self-avowed baby-mill and placing them up for adoption into two-parent households, with a married mom and dad.Every Mother's Day my psyche is assaulted with front page stories coast-to-coast about unwed mothers' joy and glee and Mother-of-the-Year Awards to celebrity moms who clearly put their careers before their children (bless those who are "nannied!").So - this blog is in honor of and directed to the women who do it right: get married to good man who can support a family; wait until they're settled and have the emotional where-with-all to sacrifice in order to receive the huge rewards of mothering their own children.I'm sorry the media doesn't care about you...but your husband, your children, Dr. Laura, and a society grateful for the wonderful human beings you raise do care about you. More >>

Tags: DepressionEthicsFamily/Relationships - ChildrenHealthMental HealthMorals, Ethics, ValuesMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingPersonal Responsibility
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05/13/2010
IconHow did we as a people get so "knee jerk" about going into therapy every time we face a challenge or disappointment?One caller to my radio program was having her three year old son tested for muscular dystrophy, a devastating illness, and the results wouldn't be coming for two weeks.' She wanted to know how to "cope" with the two week wait.' I told her that she was simply going to feel stressed and scared - that was normal, and was to be "endured."' She, like many others realizing they had to feel some emotional pain for a while, asked if she should go into therapy!I asked her what she thought the folks who blazed the trail west in covered wagons did when people died of illness or accident, or if the Indians attacked or food got scarce?' Did they all line up in front of a therapist's tent to express their pain and look for a magic cure to get through the sometimes unpleasant realities of life, or did they pray, hold onto each other and ultimately....endure?She laughed, and said, "I see what you mean." We are sturdier creatures than we take credit for.' I am a licensed therapist, and there are, indeed, situations in which individuals cannot endure, due to a distinct compromise in a person's ability to be rational, such as mental illness or severe trauma.' In these situations, I refer people to mental health professionals.'But most things in life that we must deal with often are best served with some love, some advice, some prayer, and an acknowledgment that sometimes life just doesn't feel good for a while.I have told innumerable callers that there is no quick fix for a bad situation - and sometimes, there is no "fix" at all.' I tell them also to turn to each other (family and friends), rather than turn on each other with resentment, frustration, or anger.Much of life must be endured.' There is still always beauty, such as seeing the flowers among the fertilizer, and there is always light (hope and alternatives). More >>

Tags: AttitudeHopePersonal ResponsibilityReligionValues
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05/13/2010
IconRecently, a male listener, with a very undeveloped maturity bone, called to complain about his new wife.' It seemed that she was no longer the party girl he dated for two months prior to the well-thought out marriage, and he was upset that she was starting to "nest."' How utterly disappointing and boring.I told him he had to dump her and find a drug addicted, alcoholic, promiscuous hussy to marry to keep the party going.'' And then I went onto the next caller.' It was that kind of day.It is important, though, to know what you want when you date; it saves time and emotion.' CNN.com recently posted a blog by Wendy Atterberry entitled, " Seven Traits to Investigate on a First Date ."' The seven were:1.' Pet situation,2.' Employment status3.' Dream vacation4.' Perfect Saturday night,5.' Perfect Sunday afternoon6.' Romantic aspirations ... dating for fun or marriage?7.' Kissing style.''''My take is that #6 should determine whether or not to even have a date in the first place.' I have told many women on my program that they should inquire as to the long-term intentions of the man before or at the beginning of the first date . "I'm dating to look for someone to share my life with and help raise my 84 children in a forever marriage...and why are you dating?" would be a good start as far as I'm concerned.'' If you both want to party, or only one is serious...it's important to know.Numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, are interesting and have importance down the line for the sake of mutual interest and compatibility of lifestyle, although a lot of that can change when one is in love.Number 2, employment status, is another one of those significant facts to know before you agree to a date.' Folks who are flaky, unstable, unmotivated or unprepared for adult lives shouldn't date.I was seriously stunned that the most important issues - for example, religion --' were left out.' It is an important bonding agent to have mutual spiritual identities.' Relationship with parents is also important, as it tells you a lot about the health of the extended family.' The desire to have children and about how many is an important issue, as is the determination to raise and love children or pay hired help to "raise" them and watch them grow from a busy distance.' Finances, debts, and philosophy of saving versus spending would be good to know in advance too.'Hobbies and other activities which can both build interest and mutual experiences, or interfere with the relationship and leave someone lonely are important as well.' Politics and life philosophy discussions would reveal similarities and differences (not always bad) in expectations, preferences, and attitudes''''Am I kidding?' Do I really think you folks should talk this seriously on the first date?' Shouldn't you just marinate in each other's furtive, sensual glances?No, I am not kidding.' Yes...even before the first date if you're spending some "get to know you" phone time.' And yes...romantic glances are wonderful. More >>

Tags: intimacyMarriagePersonal ResponsibilitySexValues
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05/13/2010
IconTranscription of Opening Monologue from Dr. Laura's program 1.23.2009 Dr. Laura: Well, we have another anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade "you can kill the babies in your body" law.' And there was a big march yesterday and, supposedly, our new president was going to be signing an executive order un-doing Bush's, which undid Clinton's, which undid the first Bush's (they went back and forth) about the government putting money in non-governmental foreign concerns, when there are abortions, so that we, the tax payers, wouldn't be paying for it.Now, apparently, there's going to be a lot of money in perpetuity, for the rest of all humanity, going to the number one baby-killing mechanism in the United States, which is, in my opinion, Planned Parenthood.' So I've been beseeched and besieged with people telling me to go to war over this.' I've given it great thought and slept on it.' Me?' I'm no wuss - if there's a battle to be fought, I'm there, with pearl-handled guns.' No question about it.However, approaching this issue of abortion through the legislature and the courts is a lost battle.' Totally lost battle, in my opinion.' And since I'm big on personal responsibility and moral choices, that's where this ought to go.I am here every day begging, pressuring, cajoling, negotiating, nagging people to do the right thing, especially when it comes to their kids.' Not divorcing, unless it's dangerous or destructive in some horrendous way, because kids need an intact family.' Not to have kids out of wedlock intentionally, because that ruins their lives, statistically speaking, emotionally and psychologically.' And not to have abortions.' You live with that for the rest of your life, and there's a dead human being who could've been somebody really special.So, basically, I sit here every day, well five days a week, and put pressure.' Pressure, pressure, pressure.' I give the arguments I can, write the books and support, what I believe, are more humane decisions.' And that's the way it's going to have to be.' The law could say that it's perfectly legal to rip a baby out of your body anytime you damn well want.' But the law can be there, and we can choose not to do it.' It's not against the law to not have an abortion.' It's not against the law to put a child in a situation for adoption.' And, is the only time we're going to do something, is when there's a law?' Can't we do the right thing without a badge in our face?So, in your families, you can teach your children that affordable housing means housing you can afford, not housing the tax payers can afford for you, but what you can afford for you.' I've lived in some sad situations, but that's because that's what I could afford.' So, for me, that was affordable housing.' To say somebody else has to afford your housing is not the mentality this country was built on.' And it's certainly not a mentality that makes you feel good about yourself.' That it's perfectly legal to get pregnant, abort, pregnant, abort, pregnant, abort, pregnant, abort, doesn't mean it's something you ought to do or it's a good thing to do.' It can't make you feel better as a person or a woman, when giving somebody you created the opportunity for life is a better choice.So I give up with the Planned Parenthood nonsense.' That, to me, is just part of the evil empire...that place.' And I give up with Roe vs. Wade.' I give up with that.' You're not going to get anywhere with that, folks.' Give that up and turn to each other.' Stop looking for the government to take care of this.' Look to yourself.' Influence each other.' Do the right thing; be open about it.' Anybody who's ever gotten pregnant in the wrong situation and put a baby up for adoption, say it out loud!' Make it be a wonderful thing!' Not a thing of shame, but a wonderful thing - that you were willing to sacrifice nine months of your life, plus the nine months it takes to get your body and mind back together again, in order that another human being, brought into this world by no fault of their own, no doing of their own, has a life.' You should be proud of yourself.' That's why when women call me and tell me they put children up for adoption they couldn't take care of, I tell them they're my heroes.' So, stop looking to the government for the handout, the bailout, the law.' You know what the right thing is to do.' You know.' You know the right thing to do.' Unfortunately, since the beginning of time (read the Bible) the influences around you try to dissuade you from doing the right thing.' Listen to the small, still voice:' Your conscience that tells you the truth.' Follow that voice.' If not, follow mine.' Okay? More >>

Tags: CharityMorals, Ethics, ValuesPersonal ResponsibilityPlanned ParenthoodPoliticsSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconI recently read a news report from Kansas City about a 5 foot tall, 275 pound woman who needed an MRI exam.' The problem is that MRI tables often can't support heavier patients and the tubes into which the patient must be moved generally can't fit someone of her girth.You don't usually see body scanners that will accommodate bigger patients, because they don't provide the clearest images, and those that have large openings increase the possibility of the magnetic field dissipating into the room.The obese woman in question reported that someone at the hospital suggested that she could go to the zoo for an MRI as they accommodate larger critters.' The suggestion was made to "help" and not to "insult."' According to news sources, the woman said: "I thought, I know I'm big, but I'm not as big as an elephant.' And my husband got mad." Sadly, she has a tumor on her spine, has had multiple surgeries, and now has partial paralysis. This event is purported to have happened two years ago.I've heard that there are some court cases to force airlines not to charge obese people for the two seats it takes to carry them.' This is yet another situation where no responsibility is taken for being obese.' What is it with our thinking that no matter what irresponsibility we demonstrate, the world is supposed to accommodate us?There is a difference between making access for folks who are in wheelchairs and making access for people who simply abuse their bodies and then demand that the consequences of their actions be borne by others.This woman eventually did find a place with an "open" MRI machine.' I hope her treatment is successful and she takes from this experience some sense of purpose in getting her body more healthy, rather than anger that not everything will adapt to her.' She has some responsibility too. More >>

Tags: Eat Less-Move MoreHealthObesityPersonal ResponsibilitySexSexuality
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