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05/13/2010
It pains me to state the obvious.' I hate to remind people to ignore the unimportant.' I often find myself asking, why do people obsess about idiots who are doing the wrong thing?' But unfortunately the idiots seem not only to stick around, but the stupider they get, the more the media wants to talk about them.'And then they do something really dumb and I get really ticked off.'The octuplet lady... Let's call her Ms. Mommy, because there is no Mr. Mommy in sight... is back in the news because, while she insists that she won't take government money to help support her self-centered decision to have her own private herd of toddlers, she will take Mastercard and Visa -- from YOU!'Yes -- this mommy of 14 has launched a website soliciting donations to help her feed, diaper and toilet train these beautiful little gifts from God who, in reality, are now legally the chattel of the most narcissistic mother alive.' So, if you want to make sure they get their Gerber's, you better pull out your wallet because begging for help from strangers appears to be this woman's new career path.'Now, it would be nice if I could at least say that Ms. Mommy learned HTML programming so she could make her own website.' Then, at least, she would have a skill that she could use (at home) and make some legitimate coin while the kidlets are sleeping.' But no, Ms Mommy's got some Hollywood public relations firm to design and put up the site, complete with links to PayPal in order to slurp your money faster.''So is the money raised for the kidlets going to pay the PR firm for their web design?' Well, FoxNews says
"The website was created by the Killeen Furtney Group, a Los Angeles-based public relations and marketing firm retained by the mother following the birth of her six boys and two girls. Her publicist, Joann Killeen, declined to indicate how much had been donated thus far, but stressed that her firm designed the website for free."
Pro bono?' More like Pro Promo.' Joann Killeen was a bit more honest and forthcoming just a week ago when she acted like the mommy of the moment resembled a cash cow.' The Los Angeles Daily News reported on February 3rd:
"Ms. Mommy retained Los Angeles publicists Michael Furtney and Joann Killeen on Friday and since then, the agents said they had fielded dozens of interview requests and offers for book, film and television deals. But Killeen said this morning that offers have not yet been reviewed. Some media reports speculated that Ms. Mommy might be paid as much as $2 million for an interview. Killeen said today she believes people will be 'very impressed' when Ms. Mommy begins relating her tale, 'and we will work with our client to decide what's the best vehicle for her to tell the story.'"
And all I keep thinking about is the 14 little children who desperately need a safe, secure home in order for them to achieve the American Dream while their mommy is whipping them around in her own personal nightmare.''Is there any good news here?' Well, apparently the Bimbo Mommy has decided no more kids.' In her maybe paid for, maybe not interview on The Today Show, she told Ann Curry the octuplets were a sign from God that she should stop having children. And according to the Associated Press, "she also said she'll support her family on student loans until she finishes her master's degree in a year or two and finds a job."'Well, I support her decision to NOT have any more kids and I'm just waiting for the website where I can donate money to have Ms. Mommy's tubes tied.
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Tags: Ethics, Family/Relationships - Children, Morals, Ethics, Values, Motherhood, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Values
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05/13/2010
Why am I not surprised when callers complain about the lack of respect their children display?' Simple.' Way too many parents never take on a leadership role in the first place.' It is profoundly sad to me when I give some direction to a parent which requires them to draw a line in the sand and I hear back, "But my son/daughter will get mad or pout."A recent caller wanted to know how to handle her sixteen year old daughter who wanted to bring a boyfriend with her on a family cruise.' I told her to tell her daughter that this was completely inappropriate and that she could go on a cruise with him when they were married adults.The mother just sucked in her breath and sighed in pain because, "She will just make our lives miserable."' Well, we now know how this parent runs her home: she give the kid(s) whatever will keep them from needing to be actually parented.' And, without proper parenting, these children grow up into out-of- control, disrespectful, entitlement-demanding, self-centered unhappy adults.Here is a letter from one mother who "gets it":
Hi Dr. Laura:
I just listened in amazement to the call from the mom who was afraid to tell her teenage daughter that the daughter's boyfriend could not come on a cruise with the family. Mom was afraid her daughter would pout. We have a teen daughter who would never dream of asking for a boyfriend to come on a trip with the family let alone pout if we said no. It's because as my husband smilingly tells the kids, we subscribe to the Reagan doctrine when it comes to child rearing:'' peace through strength.
Deborah
Amen to that.
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Tags: Abortion, Family/Relationships - Children, Family/Relationships - Teens, Parenting, Teens, Values
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05/13/2010
Kellogg's, the cereal and snack manufacturer, cancelled its lucrative sponsorship contract with Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps because he was caught on camera smoking marijuana last fall.' Apparently, all the other companies with similar contracts did not cancel their contracts with him.' However, USA Swimming, the sport's governing body, has suspended him from competition for three months.My point of view is "hurrah" to Kellogg's and USA Swimming team.' They are demonstrating to the children and young adults of America that the perks of fame are earned in an ongoing manner with not only the accomplishment (Gold Medals from the Olympics) but a continuous responsibility to represent the team, the sport, and personal character with honor.' Having consequences for bad judgment and stupid (as well as illegal) behaviors teaches children and young adults to think twice before sacrificing so much for so little.
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Tags: Addiction, Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Marijuana, Personal Responsibility, Response To A Call, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
I am writing this blog on Nadya Suleman, octuplet mom, under duress.' I was told that a significant number of you wished for my point of view or comments on this occurrence.' My answer was, "Do I really have to comment on the obvious?"'I am disgusted with this woman for being educated in child developmental psychology and still intentionally robbing children of a dad (she had in-vitro fertilization with embryos from sperm donor) and the opportunity to get the kind of attention one out of fourteen children clearly won't get.I'm disgusted with the clinic and physicians who, knowing she already had six children and no husband or reasonable means of support (except for workman's comp lawsuits), and frankly, must be somewhat emotionally troubled, still impregnated her with multiple embryos -- more than the recommended number for a woman under the age of 35.I'm disgusted with the media for making a big deal about these freak situations without proper judgment and criticism and for starting programs for "freebee" bailouts with charitable support.I'm disgusted with Child Protective Services which I don't think has even considered taking these children away from this self-avowed baby-mill and placing them up for adoption into two-parent households, with a married mom and dad.Every Mother's Day my psyche is assaulted with front page stories coast-to-coast about unwed mothers' joy and glee and Mother-of-the-Year Awards to celebrity moms who clearly put their careers before their children (bless those who are "nannied!").So - this blog is in honor of and directed to the women who do it right: get married to good man who can support a family; wait until they're settled and have the emotional where-with-all to sacrifice in order to receive the huge rewards of mothering their own children.I'm sorry the media doesn't care about you...but your husband, your children, Dr. Laura, and a society grateful for the wonderful human beings you raise do care about you.
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Tags: Depression, Ethics, Family/Relationships - Children, Health, Mental Health, Morals, Ethics, Values, Motherhood, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Personal Responsibility
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05/13/2010
How did we as a people get so "knee jerk" about going into therapy every time we face a challenge or disappointment?One caller to my radio program was having her three year old son tested for muscular dystrophy, a devastating illness, and the results wouldn't be coming for two weeks.' She wanted to know how to "cope" with the two week wait.' I told her that she was simply going to feel stressed and scared - that was normal, and was to be "endured."' She, like many others realizing they had to feel some emotional pain for a while, asked if she should go into therapy!I asked her what she thought the folks who blazed the trail west in covered wagons did when people died of illness or accident, or if the Indians attacked or food got scarce?' Did they all line up in front of a therapist's tent to express their pain and look for a magic cure to get through the sometimes unpleasant realities of life, or did they pray, hold onto each other and ultimately....endure?She laughed, and said,
"I see what you mean."
We are sturdier creatures than we take credit for.' I am a licensed therapist, and there are, indeed, situations in which individuals cannot endure, due to a distinct compromise in a person's ability to be rational, such as mental illness or severe trauma.' In these situations, I refer people to mental health professionals.'But most things in life that we must deal with often are best served with some love, some advice, some prayer, and an acknowledgment that sometimes life just doesn't feel good for a while.I have told innumerable callers that there is no quick fix for a bad situation - and sometimes, there is no "fix" at all.' I tell them also to turn
to
each other (family and friends), rather than turn
on
each other with resentment, frustration, or anger.Much of life must be endured.' There is still always beauty, such as seeing the flowers among the fertilizer, and there is always light (hope and alternatives).
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Tags: Attitude, Hope, Personal Responsibility, Religion, Values
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05/13/2010
Kids (naturally) and adults (neurotically) worry about death.' One recent caller's 12 year old son fretted about death a lot.' He worried that because he is the youngest, all the people who matter to him will die before him and leave him alone.As a bit of an aside, all vampire movies have at least one scene in which the vampire, an immortal, laments that he's had to lose every wife he's had, because they've aged and died, while he remained the same:' the emotional pain is horrible.' Many a vampire character has rued not being able to grow old and die with his beloved.What do these two issues have in common?' Simple.' Immortality cheapens the value and promise of life.' With "all the time in the world," there are no imperatives, no goals, no sense that every minute is important and should not be wasted.' People tend to procrastinate like crazy when they're given protracted time to complete something.' One of the most important aspects of life is that it is
not
infinite.Since we all have "x" amount of time to live (75 years on the average, without accidents or fatal illnesses), knowing that gives us the incentive to make the most out of each day.Children need to be reassured, but need more to learn how to "value" life, how to make "purpose," and not "fear" their focal point, and to enjoy those they love each and every day.
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Tags: Family/Relationships - Children, Mortality, Parenting, Values
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