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Mother and Son Bond: Advice to 'Gift' Him Before He Ties the Knot

By: Melissa A. Woods

Mothers are a very important figure in a son's life. A mother and son bond is established after birth where the child depends physically and emotionally on their mother. Research suggests that when boys have a strong emotional bond with their mothers they are better in school, relationships and the workplace. They also have lower rates of anxiety and depression. So, is the bond still strong after he gets married?

To keep the peace and to continue to have a great relationship with your son once he's married and has a strong relationship with your future daughter-in-law, tell him these words to keep close to his heart.

  1. I am your mother and always will be: You will still be his mother after he is married and has children of his own. You will be part of his new family, but he will be the head of the household and you will always be there for him when he needs support and love.

  2. His wife is the most important woman in his life: When mothers of sons are faced with the reality that they are no longer the sole woman in his life, the experience can lead to having mixed feelings. Some mothers just can't let go of their sons. The phrase, "A daughter's a daughter for the rest of your life, a son is a son till he takes a wife." Or another way to look at this is, you're not losing a son. You are gaining a daughter.

  3. I will respect your independence, family and home: By telling your son that you respect his home and family, you will not talk badly about his wife and children. You will not participate in any lies or hide things for him from his wife. This way you maintain the respect and love between him and his wife.

  4. Never take her or anything for granted: It's important to establish a strong and lasting marriage so be grateful for the life you've and the love you have found. Listen to what she has to say and put yourself in her shoes while she's saying it. Make time for each other and hold hands every chance you get. 

  5. She can feel your intentions: Your wife has a very special ability and intuition to sense negative energy so when you're angry, resentful or judgmental, she will know your feelings. She can feel positive intentions too so show respect and love more often then she senses your authenticity. Respect and communicate, you are a team.

  6. If you are not trying, she has no choice but to take control: Leadership is an important factor in attraction for a woman. Having leadership will allow your wife to feel safe and trusting. Own your part in the marriage and household duties. By participating shows maturity and creates an environment for her to feel safe emotionally. Lead yourself first so you can lead her to a stronger marriage.

  7. Be yourself: She is attracted to you. She trusts you and respects you. She loves you for who you are now. Your humor, intelligence, and your heart. Don't lose who you are. Be the man she needs. Love her. Respect her dreams. Know that there will be ups and downs and to expect and embrace them. Share your fears. Be vulnerable. Cry with her. Expect more from yourself. 

  8. I love you as you are: Tell him that you love him and support him. You are worthy of love. You deserve a life of love, inspiration, and passion. Hearing these words lets him know you trust his decision to marry this woman and make sure he knows you will love his wife as your own child.

Letting go of your son can be difficult but if you approach this time in his life as positive and supportive, it will benefit not only your relationship with him but the bond you can create with your daughter-in-law. 

Melissa A Woods is the author of Getting Past Anxiety, an inspirational novel to reclaim your life (Aviva Publishing, 2017). Follow her on Facebook and on Twitter. For more information and strategies on anxiety visit her website at
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Tags: Health, Mental Health, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Raising Boys to Men, Stress
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