I cannot even estimate how many recent callers fall into two discrete, and unfortunate, categories:' the first are largely women calling to find out how they can better deal with the bitter resentment they have toward their husbands, because of economic stress; the second are largely men calling to find out how they can better deal with the feelings of failure as a man because of economic stress.To the women, I say "Unless he actively burned money in the basement, gambled it away, or spent way, way, way over budget, your fears are turning into rage toward the one person you should turn to , and not on ."' When they (generally) limply come back with "Yes, he spent more than we had," and I come back with "And, didn't you?" then the meeting is called to order.To the men, I say, "I am heartened that you see your responsibilities so clearly, but you are letting your shock get in the way of your problem-solving skills.' You see a hungry tiger in your living room, salivating over your kids.' Shock sets in, and you can be depressed that you don't have a stun gun or you can't figure out another way around that tiger to save your family.' We indulge in the shock and sadness of it all, but now it's time to see the challenge."I have teenagers with small incomes from part-time jobs call, wondering if they have to "share" with their parents who are up against it.' Can you imagine that?' Instead of being rather excited about the ability to contribute to the family at a time of crisis, many of our teens are only looking out for "Number One."All cities are having charity drives not only for the holiday season, but for victims of fires and personnel layoffs due to incompetency in government and private industry.' Most of the time, this issue is food, but sometimes children's lists include iPods and laptops!' Can you believe that?' What have we taught our children about humble survival and retrenching when they are still focused on high-priced electronics? More >>

I am a woman of certain habits. I like the same breakfast everyday (raisin bran with blueberries and skim milk and one fried egg inside a toasted English muffin....for those of you who are curious), and I love to have my before-radio-show lunch while watching re-runs of Law & Order on television.Yesterday, they played an episode which was timely, considering the recent Islamic terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India targeting innocents in general and citizens of Britain and America and Jews in particular - the latter who were tortured before being murdered in cold blood.' Over 200 persons were murdered; about 400 injured.' Nine of these Muslim terrorists were killed by Indian commandos.' One has been captured and has given information about this highly organized conspiracy and its training roots in Pakistan.'For my purposes here...one ray of sunlight: 'All of the Muslim cemeteries have refused, according to a Wall Street Journal account, to bury these nine Muslim terrorists.' How about that!Now back to the parallel with yesterday's Law & Order re-run.' A Muslim- American is found dead...beheaded.' It is all set-up to look like bigoted Americans killed him just because he is Muslim.' It turns out, after a lot of posturing about prejudice against Muslims, that this man was killed by his own cousin: a bona fide terrorist trying to bring uranium into the U.S. to deploy in Manhattan to kill as many Americans as possible.' The beheaded man was informing on his cousin and all of those in the neighborhood conspiracy.' That's why his own people killed him.The Imam, the local religious leader, is lying to the police to protect the murderous cousin because they threatened to kill him if he didn't.' The Imam is measuring his importance to the community against his responsibilities to the laws of America -- laws of decency and morality, really.In a touching interaction between the Imam and the District Attorney, the DA asks the Imam if he is a Muslim first or an American first.' The Imam struggles with that, saying that he has been working very hard to keep young people in his mosque from getting recruited into terrorism and he would lose that.' The DA points out that the dead man's wife lost everything.' It is left there.In court, the black defense attorney, playing into the "race card" questions the Imam about his client's whereabouts during the murder.' At first the Imam lies. Then he tells the entire truth: about the uranium, the murder, and the plot to decimate all of New York City.' The murderer is convicted, but the Imam's mosque is burned to the ground -- retribution from some in his community.There is a last minute angry exchange in Arabic as the murderer is removed from the court.' The DA asks the Imam what they both said.' The murderer said, "Burn!"' To that, the Imam had replied, "I love America."To that "fictional" Imam and to those who run the Muslim cemeteries in India refusing to accept the bodies of mass murders my admiration, my respect, my appreciation, my prayers, and my hope that more will join you to "out" or "reject" those who perpetrate evil. More >>

Awwww...give me a break.' I'm actually supposed to feel sorry for this Oregon woman who is out $400,000 because of...well, GREED!' I feel as sorry for her as I feel for the folks who took out home loans they couldn't pay back or the CEOs of bankrupt companies who get to lose their jobs with tens of millions in severance pay.This woman mortgaged her house, took a lien out on the family car and ran through her husband's retirement account.' How and why?' Well, here it comes: she received an e-mail promising her $20.5 million if she would only help out a long-lost relative with a little money up front.' Her family and bank officials told her it was a scam and begged her to stop, but she was obsessed with the thought of becoming a multi-millionaire.This whole affair was a scheme called the "Nigerian scam" and it's familiar to many people with e-mail accounts.' Over the last several years, one of these has come to my email address.' They promise you zillions of dollars for just thousands of dollars necessary to jump-start some transfer of money or some business.I remember long ago seeing a Donohue TV program with six women all complaining that some guy scammed them by "wining and dining" them...on their own money!' The guys would say they were coming into lots of money, but they needed a place to live and money to spend until their golden ship came in....oh please....this was a study in denial: "I'm getting attention so I'll deep-six my brain."Back to this woman in Oregon.'' She's gotten herself and her husband into horrific debt and who knows if, how, or when they'll be able to get out of it.As a psychotherapist, I'm frankly happy with some aspects of America's economic crisis.' While stores are worried that people don't impulse buy any more, or that the purchase of frivolous, unnecessary, redundant or "show-off" things is dropping, I'm glad that so many adults, and hopefully their children, are learning an important lesson in the difference between want and need, and the potential devastation of leveraging yourself with debt for possessions that ultimately don't matter much.'During the recent California fires, people didn't run out of their homes with their cars, iPods or fancy clothes.' They left with photos of the family as their number one concern.'I don't feel sorry for that Oregonian - I feel sorry for the family she devastated financially with her greed. More >>

There are two sure fire comments that I can make on the air which will get hackles way, way up.' The first is to say anything which even sounds remotely like a criticism of cats (for some reason it doesn't work for dogs, chickens, pigs or parakeets...just cats) or comment that, for the most part, being fat is your own darn fault.' There's even a fan site for my show called "We Love Dr. Laura" - which has a thread that goes wild whenever I take a "fat" call and give my opinion that by and large, being fat and unfit is a voluntary condition.Let me give you an example: a woman called to tell me about her mean, mean, and oh so mean, husband who is trying to influence her to lose weight and start working out.' She just about had a fit on the phone, telling me that he should just love her the way she is...or he's, simply, a bad guy.' Since when don't we owe our families our healthiest selves: mind, body and soul?When I didn't agree with her, the harrumph resounded across the land.I've basically told people who call about weight that it is ultimately a simple issue: "eat less, move more."' That might not result in the kind of body they show off in all those home exercise equipment videos (by the way...does anybody believe you go from fat and flabby, to svelte and ripped exercising 20 minutes a day, three times a week?).' Nonetheless, you can evolve into a more healthy, fit, and attractive version of yourself.This is all in preparation for an inspirational story of a fat man, 330 pounds, who wanted become a Marine.' Their answer was, well, nope.' Committed as he was to joining the military, he did what is generally said to be too difficult to do: without miracle weight loss potions sold on television, he moved more and ate less.' The 23-year old man gave up beer, cut his food portions way, way down, and exercised 140 pounds away in about a year.Kindly, the Marine recruiters also worked with him - helping him to develop an appropriate, safe yet effective workout regimen.When his friends would sit down for beer and pizza, he'd put on a head lamp and go out for a run in the dark.Eat less...move more.' It's the least expensive weight management program on the planet. More >>

When marriages get difficult, people "bail out" by divorcing, and flippantly propose that the kids will be fine.' When school children are failing classes, the tendency in American education is to drop standards on performance examinations, drop the tests altogether, or punish the hard-working children by eliminating valedictorian status.' When folks decide that their business or financial situation isn't paying off, they declare bankruptcy and ultimately give the bird to those who trusted them enough to do business with them.' When the auto industry makes cars that aren't popular, Congress votes to bail them out financially.' When mortgage companies and banks loan trillions of dollars to people who can't possibly pay their monthly bills, we have a world-wide financial crisis requiring the average, hard-working citizen to give up his or her compensation to save the day.' When people do stupid things, like put hot coffee between their legs while driving a car, a company has to pay out from its profits to compensate for a customer's irresponsibility.This is not really about finances.' As many have pointed out, during the Great Depression, unemployment was higher than 20%, and people found themselves unable to pay their bills through no fault of their own.' This is 2008, and unemployment is about 5%, and people find themselves unable to pay their bills totally by their own fault!' Why?' Because they want to live a lifestyle they have not yet earned.This is about character and honor as well as the philosophy of earning your blessings.' I have told many a parent not to buy a home for their newlywed children, because they would be robbing them of something to work towards together , in addition to the thrill of the accomplishment.Dozens of CEOs are walking away from disasters they helped create with hundreds of millions of dollars of "reward."' Millions of Americans are walking away from the disasters they greedily and irresponsibly signed up for by putting their names to a promise they could not keep.This is not the American spirit of old, and it's certainly not the way to bring up our young people.' I hope they have learned from this.'' Instead, I worry they're just blaming the Wall Street fat cats or the Federal government.' To quote Shakespeare: "the fault lies not in our stars...but in ourselves." More >>

The world's finances are being shaken to their core because of - well - cheating and greed.' Nonetheless, people are being laid off, large companies are going out of business, small businesses can hardly pay for even minor fees to keep themselves afloat, and the price of gas keeps yo-yoing.' The good news is that you can buy a car for under sticker price...as long as you don't need a loan; you can also buy a house for a pittance...as long as you don't need a loan.A number of financial advisors have reported that their biggest problem is not the most obvious one, which is explaining what folks should and shouldn't do with their cash, savings, and investments.' As it turns out, their biggest problem is how husbands and wives are turning on each other with blame and rage or turning away from each other with blame and fear.Feelings of concern, anxiety, sadness, confusion and fear are, frankly, reasonable emotions when tornados, hurricanes, and earthquakes hit your community...it is reasonable to slap your own - and maybe each other's - foreheads, regretful that you both didn't plan better.' But ultimately, it happened to each of you and all of your neighbors and you have to respond in a constructive way despite your personal pain.Feelings of concern, anxiety, sadness, confusion and fear are, frankly, reasonable responses when the financial bottom falls out from under you.' It's not unusual to want to look for the cause of the disaster whether it is a bank CEO, the President, the Treasurer, modest-income people who borrowed to live beyond their means....or....your spouse."Kicking the dog" because you are upset with your day is animal cruelty.' Kicking your husband or wife when you are both in the same lifeboat is also cruel, and it is destructive to the marriage and the family.Perhaps it is true that one or both of you made some financially unwise moves with investments or by spending too much and living beyond your means with credit cards and loans.' I think that in these situations it is always best for the person in charge of the "errors" to simply own up to screwing up, apologize, and then offer to help make things right.' Once your spouse has thrown himself or herself on your mercy, do not ever make them feel stupid or bad in an attempt to regain a sense of superiority or control.'When things go wrong, turn TO each other with compassion, solace, and a pledge to be a team and work it through together, survive it together, brainstorm together, and work together.' No matter how sad you feel, this is the time for lots of attention and great sex.' Endorphins and orgasms go a long way to keeping you both cheerful about life and life with each other.The financial situation in America and the world, as well as the Dow, will come back up.' Make sure your marriage weathers the storm so that you can both be there to enjoy it. More >>

Barack Obama and Joseph Biden are both fishing for the women's vote - especially disenchanted Hillary Clinton feminists.' Biden has insisted that Republicans, including Sarah Palin, represent a step backwards for women.'But when you look at the labor market data from the Census Bureau (as Professor Casey Mulligan of the University of Chicago has in a new study), to figure out " the amount and reasons for women's progress in the labor market since the 1960s" something very interesting is revealed. (Wall Street Journal 9/12/08). In 1988, the last full year of Republican Ronald Reagan's administration, wage growth for women working full-time throughout the year improved by 8.3% from the end of the Democratic administration of Jimmy Carter. "Johnson, Carter, and Clinton were all Democrats, yet none of them witnessed much labor-market progress for women during their administrations:' eight years of Reagan, four years of George H.W. Bush, and six years of George W. Bush." The Nixon-Ford administrations were the only Republican administrations that didn't make it to this list of forward momentum for women.'In the Quarterly Journal of Economics , August, 2008, Professor Mulligan and Yona Rubenstein (from Brown University) calculated the statistics that showed women's annual wage growth relative to men's:'Under Republican administrations, women's annual wage growth relative to men was .0.87% under George W. Bush, 1.4% under George H.W. Bush, and 1.6% under Ronald Reagon.' Under Democratic administrations, women fared less well.' Their annual wage growth relative to men was 0.21% under Bill Clinton, 0.04% under Jimmy Carter, and minus 1% under Lyndon Johnson.'I like that color lipstick, especially if the kids are grown or Daddy is home with the kidlets. More >>

"It has fewer pages than three years ago, the paper stock is thinner, and the stories are shorter.' The newsroom staff producing the paper is also smaller....Financial pressures sap its strength and threaten its very survival." Nope, that isn't a statement about your local newspaper.' It's a statement about the American daily newspaper of 2008, as reported by the Pew Research Center. "This description is a composite.' It is based on face-to-face interviews conducted at newspapers across the country, and the results of a detailed survey of senior newsroom executives.' In total, more than 250 newspapers participated." In total, more than one in every five of the nation's 1,217 daily newspapers participated, making it one of the broadest surveys of its kind in recent years.The majority of newspapers are now suffering cutbacks in staffing, and even more in the amount of news they offer the public.' The forces buffeting the industry continue to impact larger metro newspapers to a far greater extent than smaller ones.Perhaps you've heard the recent announcements of a further round of huge newsroom staff reductions at large papers, including the Los Angeles Times, The Chicago Tribune , and The Washington Post , all known to be quite liberal in their perspectives. Let's also not forget The New York Times , that bastion of bias, with a second quarter drop of 82% in revenue, with print advertising continuing to shrink.The Pew Report was meant to document how newspapers are faring in the race between today's financial pressures and the innovative attempts to insure the industry's future.' Many papers are expanding their web presence and getting into web TV to mobilize the rapid growth of web readership.One major area of concern, however, which has already cropped up in television news, is the pressure to have a constant flow of new material on the web, which means "a loss of time to organize a thoughtful attack on a story, to think through precisely why a story is being done, or how to make that story more meaningful." Newspapers have long had that luxury and that responsibility.' Television and radio news, with their competitive immediacy, have veered toward the unexamined and notorious for the sake of ratings.'We should be worried. More >>

The feministas came out of their skins when I published my best seller, "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands." Their main point of rage was their notion that taking care of one's man emotionally and physically was demeaning.One reader, Vicky, wrote this week: "Last December, we invited potential friends to our Christmas party.' During the evening, I gave my husband a fresh drink when I saw that his was getting low.' At one point, the man we invited noticed and commented that he'd go thirsty if he waited for his wife to bring him a drink.' The wife, in turn, bluntly let me know that's because she wasn't a doormat.' I responded that I never thought I was a doormat just because I enjoyed taking care of my man, and the conversation moved on.' But, I have to admit, that comment ate at me for a long time.' Was I being na've?' Was my husband taking advantage of me? Over the months since, every time I hear my husband tell a friend that I take better care of him than he deserves, I let that comment "go" a little bit more.' I've now let it go completely. You see, we ran into that couple this past weekend.' We'd heard rumors that they were divorcing (because the husband had had an affair).' The wife confirmed the rumors, but stated that they were trying to work it out. I'm doubtful they will work anything out.' She's the ultimate "feminazi," and he will have to do all the changing and groveling for it to "work out." Bottom line:' She's on her way to divorce, and I'm celebrating my 7 year wedding anniversary today with a man who worships me and I absolutely adore after all these years.' Doormat?' I think not! More >>

While each vehicle performs differently, a rule of thumb for maximizing fuel economy is to keep highway speed to 60 miles per hour or less.' According to the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), exceeding 60 miles per hour severely hurts the fuel economy of most vehicles.' The agency says: "each 5 miles per hour you drive over 60 miles per hour is like paying an additional $0.20 per gallon of gas." Several tips on saving fuel appear at fueleconomy.gov . More >>