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08/13/2010
How many times have you gone into your closet to choose something to wear, and even though your closet is stuffed with things (some still with the tags on them), you've stood there frustrated and yelled: "But I don't have anything to wear!!" Imagine this: you go to your closet to choose what to wear for the day, and you find only six items. Does that make it easier? That's the premise behind a recent Web challenge at sixitemsorless.com - participants were to go an entire month wearing only six items already found in their closet
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Tags: Ethics, Personal Responsibility, Values
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05/13/2010
Earlier this month, I took a call that I thought was a perfect example of how "moral nearsightedness" is overcoming American society.This twenty-something young woman was pregnant out-of-wedlock, "shacking up" with her alleged fiance (they are living with his father), and the fiance doesn't have enough income to support a wife and child.But
that's not why she called!!
In fact, when I pointed out the irresponsibility and immaturity of conceiving out of wedlock with a guy incapable of supporting a family, I got back:
"Well, that's not my question!"
(And, by the way, she didn't want to have a wedding until after the baby was born and she got her figure back in order to wear a white gown).Her question actually related to her mother.' Apparently, her mommy came to visit and "got it on" with the fiance's dad....
all night
.' There were other children (of other family members) in the home when this was happening.That's as far as she got when I said:
"It's genetic."
She responded with:
"What?"
I repeated and expanded:
"It's genetic...having no moral foundation for decisions.' Like mother, like daughter."
Now that may sound harsh to you, but truth often is, and there was nothing I could do to change anything about this situation.' She was already "shacking up" and pregnant; her mother already had humped the maybe future father-in-law.' Her question was going to be about confronting her mom about this outrageous behavior.' I couldn't bear to hear her even go there, considering she was the pot and the kettle all by herself.It's a shame both of our eyes point only outwards.' It would be a far, far better thing if one of them turned inwards.
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Tags: Ethics, Family, Family/Relationships - Family, Feminism, Health, Morals, Morals, Ethics, Values, Personal Responsibility, Relatives, Shacking Up, Shacking-Up, Social Issues, Values
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05/13/2010
In a recent radio interview, I discussed the issue of "webtribution," a term coined by Elizabeth Bernstein in
The Wall Street Journal
to describe people who use the Internet to get revenge - i.e., publicly to hurt another human being with whom they are not happy.The Internet is anonymous, immediate, and gratifying in the moment.' In human history, vengeance is not unfamiliar - people haven't changed that much.' Their means of delivering pain has evolved from poison, duels, clever rumors, and Machiavellian manipulation to the world wide web.' In some ways, damaging someone's reputation is akin to murdering them, as their reputation is devastated world-wide and forever, making it difficult for them to function in private relationships as well as in the community and at work.To quote
The Wall Street Journal:
"Most of us have heard of someone posting naked photos of an 'ex' online.' Or writing nasty reviews for a restaurant or book, not because they dislike the product, but because they dislike the person who created it.' Or signing up an acquaintance for [unwanted] e-mail advertising lists."
My opinion is that it should be illegal, as it is immoral, to post information or opinion about people without identifying yourself.' Obviously, it is also cowardly.' Google and all other such carriers should not permit anonymity.' That would immediately change the complexion of what is posted, and I don't think they'd lose business, except from those who use the Internet for evil (terrorists of the international and interpersonal kind).
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Tags: Behavior, Character, Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Civility, Ethics, Internet, Internet-Media, Internet/Media, Jill Cooper, Morals, Morals, Ethics, Values, Simple Savings, Social Issues, Social Networking, Stay-at-Home Mom, Values
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05/13/2010
I have some comments to make about Ashley Dupre, the highly-paid prostitute who notoriously humped disgraced ex-New York State Governor Eliot Spitzer.Angry about the negative perception of her, Ms. Dupre wrote on a blog post:
'Let me say this:' most girls, to varying degrees, of course, want to be pampered and have nice shoes, designer handbags and gorgeous clothes.' I know many women who target guys with money and use them to get these things.' They toy with them, flirt, go on dates, have sex and then drop hints about that new dress...or being short on rent money ' and the guys deliver it.'
Whoa, missy!' Trying to make yourself look better by making comparisons to other devious skanks just doesn't work that well.' Everyone in the universe would like 'nice things,' but some people are satisfied with richer things in life ' like love and family ' while others simply work hard at a legitimate job that doesn't exploit or damage other people's families to get those things.One comment listed on the
New York Post
website in response to this story was quite interesting:
'She's a cheap trick trying to cover the fact that she sold her body for a few thousand bucks.' There IS a BIG difference.' Implying that a relationship is like prostitution is like implying that hunting and killing game is no [different from] hunting and killing people.' She's trying to spin the simple fact that relationships are give-and-take to say that all that are give-and-take in any way are the same, but giving and taking in a long-term social and intimate relationship is NOT the same as a business transaction for sex. She would have done better to say that a piece of ham in a supermarket is 'no better' than she is being the more closer comparison to buying a piece of meat for consumption.'
I have a simple question to ask women who are defensive about their behaviors:' would you teach your daughters to do this?' It is amazing how the answer to this will definitely be a quick and disgusted 'NO,' but then, these women are quick to rationalize.Ashley Dupre is a disgusting creature, not only for being a 'paid-for' sex machine, but mostly for being an unrepentant destroyer of some other woman's family.' It is the unrepentant part that really gets me, and should get you, too.' As a foolish young woman with warped values, we could all 'get' (i.e., understand) her behavior, but here she is, older and after the fact, and she still has no conscience about her actions.It is the lack of conscience in this woman that ultimately judges her.
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Tags: Adultery, Bullying, Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Ethics, Infidelity, Internet-Media, Internet/Media, Morals, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting
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05/13/2010
An all-too-typical issue that comes up on my radio program is cowardice, because someone didn't stand up for others, for values and/or for ideals.' The standard excuses range from not wanting to escalate a situation, being afraid of other people getting mad, fear of being marginalized or left out, being afraid of being "judged," not "liking" confrontation, not wanting to lose the image as a nice person, and so on.I disrespect the actions of not standing up for friends, fairness (even when a friend is not involved), and values.' Some of my callers are parents whose adult children are behaving recklessly, thoughtlessly, and in total opposition to how they were brought up.' Too many of these parents are more concerned with "peace at all costs" instead of continuing their parental leadership by clarifying their position and drawing the line.I remember a long time ago, there was a talk show host coming on right after my program.' We were polar opposites in our political views, and she would use her three hours on the air to critique
my
program.' This, of course, annoyed the heck out of me, but I never spoke about it on the air - not even once - because I don't use my air time to do anything but help people do and be better in their lives.Fast forward several years later, and a feminist group went after her with venomous attacks, attempting to destroy her career.' Mind you, she was a feminist activist leader herself, but she dared to have her own opinion about something that went against the grain of the activist group's position.' It turns out that I was the first person who called her the next morning - with a call of support.' It galled me that there was a concerted effort to
unfairly
destroy her career.' I just don't like life's unfair qualities, and I have generally stood up to them no matter what.Fast forward again years later, and I was being unfairly attacked by a different activist group that she had once been part of.' She went into numerous public venues to defend and support me.'We both took hits for doing these things, but we both turned out to like each other very much, and we both still maintained the bulk of our differing opinions.' We did, however, agree on one point of ethics, morals, and values:' you defend who or what is being attacked unfairly, and consequently, we both defended responsible free speech.We both lost to the power of the activist groups, however, but we won each other's respect and support, all while keeping the high ground.' We each went on growing in success and the respect of our peers as well.'That's one very personal experience for me.' I hope the next time you see rudeness or cruelty, you will stand up.Racial comments coming from Don Imus are as ugly and unnecessary (except for ratings) as the joke about Sarah Palin's daughter getting "knocked up" by a baseball player.' It isn't the term "knocked up" that's the issue - I use it all the time for out-of-wedlock pregnancies, because they usually end up with the child being aborted or growing up with the chaos of a life with one parent gone.' David Letterman wanted to shoot insults at Palin simply because she's Republican, and he aimed his gun at her child.' That's disgusting.' How many of you would stand for that happening to your child?'Imus lost his job...temporarily...and Letterman's ratings are higher.' And I'm left wondering if
you'll
stand up for others (or values, morals, ethics and principles) when most others around you will turn their gaze away.
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Tags: Ethics, Morals, Morals, Ethics, Values, Personal Responsibility, Values
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05/13/2010
It pains me to state the obvious.' I hate to remind people to ignore the unimportant.' I often find myself asking, why do people obsess about idiots who are doing the wrong thing?' But unfortunately the idiots seem not only to stick around, but the stupider they get, the more the media wants to talk about them.'And then they do something really dumb and I get really ticked off.'The octuplet lady... Let's call her Ms. Mommy, because there is no Mr. Mommy in sight... is back in the news because, while she insists that she won't take government money to help support her self-centered decision to have her own private herd of toddlers, she will take Mastercard and Visa -- from YOU!'Yes -- this mommy of 14 has launched a website soliciting donations to help her feed, diaper and toilet train these beautiful little gifts from God who, in reality, are now legally the chattel of the most narcissistic mother alive.' So, if you want to make sure they get their Gerber's, you better pull out your wallet because begging for help from strangers appears to be this woman's new career path.'Now, it would be nice if I could at least say that Ms. Mommy learned HTML programming so she could make her own website.' Then, at least, she would have a skill that she could use (at home) and make some legitimate coin while the kidlets are sleeping.' But no, Ms Mommy's got some Hollywood public relations firm to design and put up the site, complete with links to PayPal in order to slurp your money faster.''So is the money raised for the kidlets going to pay the PR firm for their web design?' Well, FoxNews says
"The website was created by the Killeen Furtney Group, a Los Angeles-based public relations and marketing firm retained by the mother following the birth of her six boys and two girls. Her publicist, Joann Killeen, declined to indicate how much had been donated thus far, but stressed that her firm designed the website for free."
Pro bono?' More like Pro Promo.' Joann Killeen was a bit more honest and forthcoming just a week ago when she acted like the mommy of the moment resembled a cash cow.' The Los Angeles Daily News reported on February 3rd:
"Ms. Mommy retained Los Angeles publicists Michael Furtney and Joann Killeen on Friday and since then, the agents said they had fielded dozens of interview requests and offers for book, film and television deals. But Killeen said this morning that offers have not yet been reviewed. Some media reports speculated that Ms. Mommy might be paid as much as $2 million for an interview. Killeen said today she believes people will be 'very impressed' when Ms. Mommy begins relating her tale, 'and we will work with our client to decide what's the best vehicle for her to tell the story.'"
And all I keep thinking about is the 14 little children who desperately need a safe, secure home in order for them to achieve the American Dream while their mommy is whipping them around in her own personal nightmare.''Is there any good news here?' Well, apparently the Bimbo Mommy has decided no more kids.' In her maybe paid for, maybe not interview on The Today Show, she told Ann Curry the octuplets were a sign from God that she should stop having children. And according to the Associated Press, "she also said she'll support her family on student loans until she finishes her master's degree in a year or two and finds a job."'Well, I support her decision to NOT have any more kids and I'm just waiting for the website where I can donate money to have Ms. Mommy's tubes tied.
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Tags: Ethics, Family/Relationships - Children, Morals, Ethics, Values, Motherhood, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Values
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05/13/2010
I am writing this blog on Nadya Suleman, octuplet mom, under duress.' I was told that a significant number of you wished for my point of view or comments on this occurrence.' My answer was, "Do I really have to comment on the obvious?"'I am disgusted with this woman for being educated in child developmental psychology and still intentionally robbing children of a dad (she had in-vitro fertilization with embryos from sperm donor) and the opportunity to get the kind of attention one out of fourteen children clearly won't get.I'm disgusted with the clinic and physicians who, knowing she already had six children and no husband or reasonable means of support (except for workman's comp lawsuits), and frankly, must be somewhat emotionally troubled, still impregnated her with multiple embryos -- more than the recommended number for a woman under the age of 35.I'm disgusted with the media for making a big deal about these freak situations without proper judgment and criticism and for starting programs for "freebee" bailouts with charitable support.I'm disgusted with Child Protective Services which I don't think has even considered taking these children away from this self-avowed baby-mill and placing them up for adoption into two-parent households, with a married mom and dad.Every Mother's Day my psyche is assaulted with front page stories coast-to-coast about unwed mothers' joy and glee and Mother-of-the-Year Awards to celebrity moms who clearly put their careers before their children (bless those who are "nannied!").So - this blog is in honor of and directed to the women who do it right: get married to good man who can support a family; wait until they're settled and have the emotional where-with-all to sacrifice in order to receive the huge rewards of mothering their own children.I'm sorry the media doesn't care about you...but your husband, your children, Dr. Laura, and a society grateful for the wonderful human beings you raise do care about you.
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Tags: Depression, Ethics, Family/Relationships - Children, Health, Mental Health, Morals, Ethics, Values, Motherhood, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Personal Responsibility
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